All The Good Things

Chapter 12 - "You were right."

Ash set her phone aside and waited. She stayed silent while Zach crumpled the paper bag into a ball and tossed it in his trash. He moved back until he was leaning against his bed and sitting directly across from her. He stretched his legs out in front of him and if Ash did the same their feet would touch.

He stared at her but all the strong emotions from before were missing. He looked resigned and tired. Ash looked back and patiently waited for him to break the silence. It took several minutes for him to finally speak.

"Do you understand why you feel the way you feel?" he asked. The question caught her by surprise and she didn't understand it. "Your concern for me. The connection you feel with me," he clarified. "Why you brought me food. Do you understand why you feel that?"

Once she grasped what he was talking about, she turned his question over in her mind. She hadn't really questioned why she was going so far out of her way to help him. She had skipped classes and called out of work because of him and she hadn't thought twice about doing so.

She had been worried he was alone. She had encountered other lonely students before but none of them had ever prompted her to do something about it. As her brain siphoned through the data, a term came to her.

A moment later Zach said it out loud. "The Misattribution of Arousal Theory."

"Misattribution of Arousal Theory," she repeated as her brain provided her a definition.

It was a psychological theory that said in risky situations people tended to create sympathetic links with those close to them. This was because people got confused and connected the physical reactions they experienced in scary situations, not to the situation, but to the person they were with. They had studied it in one of Huxley's classes earlier in the semester.

"When you experience fear your body reacts with an increased heart rate," Zach said, "dilated eyes, rapid breathing, increased blood flow to the muscles, and elevated blood pressure."

He spoke clearly and slowly like he was a teacher explaining a lesson. Or more precisely, like a CIA agent consoling a traumatized victim. "These are also similar reactions someone feels when they are attracted to a person. Often, when two people experience fear together those physical reactions can get confused as feelings for the other person instead of fear."

She grinned as he finished his lesson.

"It was only a sandwich, not a marriage proposal," she joked. She didn't get even the slightest hint of a smile from him.

She reluctantly dropped the smile and thought about what he had said. There was credence to what he was saying. He had taken up a lot of brain space the last four days. He had earned more of her time than anyone had in a long time.

She didn't like to think of herself as the novice on trauma after all the battle scars she had earned, but she knew she was when it came to this situation. She had never been through trauma with someone by her side.

While this situation provided a new side of trauma for her to tackle, she was far more interested in Zach's relationship with the CIA. This Misattribution of Arousal Theory wasn't going anywhere. She had time to wade through her feelings. The same could not be said for Zach.

After the last four days, she figured there was a seventy-two percent chance that he would disappear once she left his room and she would never see him again. Now was her chance to get answers. Or at least try.

"Did the CIA teach you that fancy term?" she asked with a smirk. It wasn't like he could deny that he had worked for the CIA.

For a moment it looked like he might try to deny it, then he nodded his head.