All The Good Things

Chapter 21 - "Where do we go from here?"

Ash had forgiven Zach, but what came next? She had never had a friend before so she had never faced a conflict with a friend before and come out the other side. Was it time to ask about homework and brush the whole conversation to the side?

But brushing the resolution to the side felt like a disservice to both of them. Zach had been open enough to tell her about his mom and to admit he was wrong. She had decided to forgive him.

"Where do we go from here?" she asked, wondering if he could provide the next step.

He thought over her question for a minute before he spoke. "I think we just take it one step at a time and see how it goes," he said.

He went quiet again and Ash wasn't sure if that was her cue to leave, until he spoke again.

"Moving forward, I will try my best to change, but it's going to be a process," he said softly. "I don't say this as a cop-out. I just want to be honest. The disappearing act is something like a habit at this point. I promise I am going to work on it so I can be a better friend, but it isn't going to go away overnight."

Ash watched as his eyes jumped around as if looking for the words he wanted to say.

"I do want to do better, I just need..." he hesitated as if conflicted over whether to finish the sentence. "I could use some patience while I try to change."

Ash could hear in his tone that he genuinely meant it. His words felt raw like he was pulling back the curtain on a part of him he generally kept private. He sounded uncertain. Didn't he understand this was all she had been asking for? Didn't he understand that if he had just said all of this in the beginning she wouldn't have cut him out?

But then something clicked into place in Ash's mind. He was asking her to be patient because she had pulled her own disappearing act when they hit their first conflict. She had pushed him out of her life and told him she didn't want to be his friend.

She had even gone as far as trying to prove to herself and Dr. Ellerson that she didn't need friends. She had done all that she could to avoid him, and the one time he sought her out, she had blocked out most of what he had said, and ended by saying she didn't want to be his friend.

A strange ache began to spread throughout Ash's chest as she realized Zach was not the only one who was at fault in their friendship. She had thought she was justified in her actions, but was it fair to completely cut him out without giving him a chance to make it right? Had she expressed how much she disliked when he disappeared? Or had she always just let it happen without saying a word until she had exploded on him?

The feeling that was growing inside of her was uncomfortable and she didn't know how to handle it. It made her feel like she wanted to run away or find the nearest trashcan so she could vomit.

She dared a quick glance at Zach, prepared to see him judging her for doing to him exactly what he had done to her. But it wasn't judgment that she found. Instead, she found a calm look as he waited for her answer.

Again, she was struck by the space he gave her to be and think and feel whatever she needed to. He wasn't rushing her answer. He wasn't getting impatient as she wrestled with the feeling inside of her. He was simply waiting for her reply, and looked like he would accept it, whatever answer she chose to give.

"Zach," she started, but her words dropped off.

She wasn't sure how to do this. She had pushed away everyone in her life. She had never made a mistake and stuck around long enough to apologize. All she had ever done was run.

Zach was the same, and yet, he hadn't run today. He had stayed and said what he wanted to say. It hadn't been easy. She had watched him struggle over the words, but in the end, he had said what he wanted to say. And now it was her chance to stay and try to do the same thing.

"I messed up, and I pushed you out and I disappeared and I never gave you a chance to say anything or try to change," she said, shoving the words out as fast as she could before the pressure to run away overtook her. "I did the exact thing that I didn't want you to do and I'm sorry. I messed up too. Can you forgive me?"

The words felt like sandpaper in her mouth, and she felt raw once they were out in the world. It was terrifying to admit she had made a mistake. She knew she was far from perfect, but she usually kept to herself so the only person who was hurt by her mistakes was herself.

But if her mistakes could hurt Zach, did that mean she had made mistakes with her father that had caused him...

"Of course," Zach said. He took a step closer to her and his words and movement pulled Ash out of the spiral she had been heading towards. "Wasn't I just asking for the same thing?" he said, with the gentlest smile. "Imagine that," he said, the lilt of a soft chuckle in his voice. "Damaged people aren't perfect all the time. I'll have to report this finding to Dr. Ellerson."

Something about the smile and his voice told Ash that they were alright. It reassured her that she could make a mistake without igniting drastic retaliation. It felt like a salve to her raw feelings, and as the feeling of regret began to wash away, something else began to softly bubble up inside of her. It felt foreign which meant it felt uncomfortable.

"Speak for yourself," she said, playfully shoving his shoulder. "I'm perfect. Haven't you seen my latte art?"

"You do make an excellent foam blob," he said.

She smiled and it felt like something settled between them. They weren't sweeping the last half hour under a rug or shoving it into a dark corner. Instead, it felt like they had turned it into a step they could use to move forward in their friendship.

"Speaking of foam blobs, my shift at the cafe starts in half an hour," she said "If you want, I can make you a latte on the house, foam blob and all."

"Ahh, the perks of having a barista as your friend," he said, as he took the first step in the direction of the coffee shop.

Ash followed his lead. It wasn't lost on her that when he had called her his friend, the title hadn't scared her. In fact, she thought she could feel a hint of happiness.

"This free latte is actually a perk of being kidnapped together," she joked. "It's a very niche perk and most friendships never reach that level."

She glanced sideways in time to see him smile.

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WHAT! NO! TOO SHORT! IT WAS TOO SHORT!

AUTHOR! COME BACK! I want more! I need more! Please! *dramatically slumps to the floor, talking with my face smushed against the carpet* Please... please come back. I need more. I want more chapter... pwease...

*sits up when it is clear the heartless author will not be returning with more of a chapter as well as ice cream, and possibly brownies, along with it*

Not to be dramatic or anything but I feel like my life won't be able to go on until I see what comes next.

Okay! Fine! I admit, my fight with time, in the past...present and future, as not gone... well. It keeps ticking despite my protests for it to stop. But whatever, I will simply have to accept my fate of waiting. At least time could do the decent thing and move faster so the next update is here by tomorrow.

But alas, I shall simply have to suffer for the time being, being as time doesn't care about me being sad.

Ah, in my rant against time I seemed to have been terribly rude and have forgotten to ask you about your own dramatic opinions. It seems time flies when you're ranting. 💬🗯️💭

Uh, with that logic is seems I must rant more... I will develop this theory and come back to you with my conclusion. I don't want to get ahead of myself but it's possible I have just landed on the solution for time travel.

Voted, commented, followed because as I am a time travel I already know this is what you have done, are doing, and will do.

(Sorry about no meme, it's not loading for some reason)