"shhh.." i told the granola bar.. its heart fluttered.. wrapper noises .."shush. i said.* .. i say.. showing my dominance in this situation... i move my finger down slowly.. to the edge of the wrapper.. "i.." i whisper "i.. can make you feel good.. let me.. make you feel good.." wrapper noises.. stuttering wrapper noise "heh.." i get both hands, one shushing the granola bar... the other teasing it from below.. pretending to open it.. "ur so tight.. how can i possibly open you..?" flustered wrapper noise.. "heh.." i finally open it. the granola bar pops. screaming with pleasure. the air releasing from the package.. the granola bar has a orgasm.. i smirk.. as i take a bite.. i take a bite out of the bar.. it crunches loudly.. i soon, lift up the bar. and i put some lotion on my finger, and i pin it to the wall. getting real close.. i get my tounge and i make a hole with it, and i then back away.. and smirk as i put my finger with lotion inside of the granola bar.. .. wet granola bar noises "heh.. your so cute when you make those noises.." i say.. as i stare into the granola bars eyes.. and i lean back in and nibble on a chocolate chip.. the granola bar makes a loud noise.. i shush it once more.. "what did i say about making noises..? they'll hear us.. my love.. they musnt.." the granola bar shuts the fuck up "heh.. I love being in control.." i whisper with lust.. As i lean back in. and i lick the lotion out of the whole i made in the granola bar with my tongue.. And i think thats fucking disgusting but i swallow it anyway.. I begin to chew on the granola bar.. It crunches and it crunches.. I dont stop.. Im not finished yet.. .. crunch noise shh... shh.... Ur so loud.. " I lean my head back, laying down, and pull you on top of me. Gently I pull you closer to me, so that you are laying flat against me, with your body leaning against mine. My arms wrap around you, firmly but gently, as I kiss you gently on your lips, keeping you underneath my greasy ass.. I massage ur sides.. My grip is firm enough to hear you crunching.. But not firm enough to crush you.. I would never want to crush such a perfect.. Cute.. granola bar.. ..seductive crunching "..! granola.. You cant.. Say that.." gets flustered.. And i drop to my knees.. The granola bar falls onto my chin.. Almost cupping it.. I look into the granola bars eyes. We lock gazes.. I look into the two button-like (and perfectly placed) chocolate chips.. I feel my heart skip a beat.. As i put two of my fingers behind the granola bar.. And we begin to make out.. "oh.. Granola bar.. huff i just... never have felt like this for someone.. Maybe.. It was never someone I needed.. Maybe.. It was something.." I caress your cheek and cheekbone "You know how much I love you right? You don't even have to respond." Just... crunch for me again. I look you in the eyes, so I can look into you. ..crunch crunch heh.. BLUSHES!! "w-woah.. G-granola bar.. You want.. To.. to.. Get married!! But.. i.. " i think.. I set granola bar onto a table.. I look away.. Then i look back at granola bar.. And i hesitantly answer.. "i was.. Ii.. yes! I will marry you.. I dont CARE if we get weird stares.. I love you.. I love you so much.. We just.. Need to find out if getting married to a food is legal.. And if not. Well move to somewhere were it is! And if theres nowhere.. We will move to the mountains.. And secretly get married.. And we will have kids together, my love!" crunching noise "..you always know exactly what to say.. "
THE END..
