Shards. (Steven Universe Fanfic)

Chapter 11: Our Flowers

(A/N): I've been looking forward to writing this chapter for LITERALLY FOREVER. I ACTUALLY CANT RN

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About a year prior to the Olivine Incident...

Lily's POV

Lily sat on the roof of the crashed ship as waterfalls of rain cascaded down onto the earth. She didn't care at this point. She was already soaked.

Lily liked the rain; it gave her time to think about her emotions somewhere comfortable- somewhere familiar. Rain was exactly that. Just endless drip-drops of water bearing down into everything. It was a bit ironic considering the type of her gem.

Lily set her mind on what she really needed to solve right now.

Alright, it's time to actually take time to think about my possible feelings for-

Her short train of thoughts was quickly interrupted by a voice.

"Room for one more?" Q asked.

"No." Lily really wanted to be alone right now.

"Uh-uh, somethings up." Q insisted.

Lily sighed, falling back so that the rain poured down onto her face. Why's she always so adamant about helping me? I'm my own gem.

Q quickly bent the raindrops to make a shield over the two so that the downpour was almost nothingness.

The other lapis scoffed. "How do you deal with this every time you lay out here? It's miserable!"

"Dunno. I like it."

"You always do this when you really need to think about your feelings. What's wrong, Lily. " Q confronted.

Lily took a deep breath and stared out into the clouded sky. She blinked and exhaled and did basically everything possible to stall what she had to admit. Even to 4XQ, this felt like something she should lock away forever in her cage of emotions where she once hid. Before I met Pyrite... she thought, a small dusting of blush coming to her face.

"I..." Inhale. "-think I have some form of romantic feelings for Pyrite." Exhale.

"Okay. And?" Q pressed, a small grin coming to her face, before looking away for a moment. She watched her shoulders shake in laughter, which added to Lily's frustration, on top of her embarrassment.

"And? It's... Pyrite!"

"What about that?"

The rain pattered down. Lily had to blink back tears before saying what she was about to say. Blue, orange, blue, yellow. An image of a blue lily popped into her head. A fire poppy, too.

"The thing is, I swore to Tide that I wouldn't... do the same thing she did." Lily held back the "make the same mistake" part.

"And what's that same thing?" 4XQ asked. Q knew this. She'd known that for a long, long time. In fact, she'd known it from the first week that they'd met. Why was she asking this?

"Falling in love with someone I can't be with." Lily breathed.

"Why can't you be with Pyrite, though? We're safe now. No rules to hold us down." 4XQ asked again.

"The vow I promised Tide... and the fact that some part of me, deep down, still loves her..." Lily choked. Her words were all completely true. Her guilt was unbearable, built up over months and months of confusing emotions, with no choice but to seal them in her cage of a heart and pretend they didn't exist.