Sempiternal: • Savages • || BOOK 6#

24. Descent into madness

Namjoon gives a frustrated snort, pushing his hair back with both hands and trying to convince himself that this isn't so bad. I mean, he's isolated, he's got something to eat and also something resembling a bed. He's not going to die of hunger, thirst, anything like that. The only bad thing is that this space is too small.

It makes him too anxious. He feels that eventually, the walls are going to keep closing in until he can't breathe. Despite his attempts to stay calm, it's not possible. Hajun brought him here and sealed the entrance with a huge rock. Not even with all his strength and a rush of adrenaline could he move that thing.

He doesn't know where Jin is, he will assume that in a place just like this and it makes him give a long, sobbing and nervous moan: Why should it be so complicated to have at least an instant of peace? An instant for himself with what he wants and loves.

Why must everything go wrong?

Why must he be unhappy?

Why...

Why should he be unhappy?

Simply... Why?

He gives a cry of exasperation and anger, full of disappointment. He wants this to stop. For this torture to stop for once and for all. Leaning against the nearest wall he begins to bang his head. Over and over again, never stopping until he draws blood and sees blurry.

~ * * * ~

Whether to be happy or worried about this turn of events is something Jin doesn't know how to express. On the one hand, he's a winner! He's alive, he's whole, Jahzara hasn't come near him anymore, he has food, a bed, a private room. He's good, pretty good all things considered. However, knowing that Namjoon is in a similar situation worries him.

He doesn't know anything about him either, is he okay, and what if he didn't meet the same fate? He doesn't remember anything about it, Hajun charged him in such a way that the blood went to his head and it's complicated to pay attention to anything that way.

Detail that can also make this situation horrible, is that the place is very small and is basically enclosed. The entrance is blocked with a huge rock that no one would think a human could move. This looks like something from video games and there is no potion to give you super strength.

I wish within the scheme of unrealistic nonsense he's been through, he would show up. It would be an inclusion he would love to have.

Jin slides into bed and just lies there. He doesn't feel like trying anything. Must stay here to take advantage of his solitude before Jahzara shows up again. Before he has her on top of him as usual. It will happen. He is perfectly aware that it will happen.

Which is why he's also giving a thousand and one thoughts about what he did with Namjoon. A kiss so simple and even innocent by the standards they've had since forever. A touch that made him so happy and makes him feel butterflies in his stomach. Similar to the first time they kissed, back in the distant 2015. He didn't think he would get such a thing. Nor that he would like it so much.

That it would make him so happy that Namjoon would dare to do it.

To realize his own attraction to him, that it was on that side and not the brotherly admiration he thought he had.

Encapsulating himself in those memories and feelings makes his imprisonment of punishment peaceful.

~ * * * ~

There is... Too much he doesn't understand.

His mind fills with more mists. More strange thoughts, more wishes and desires he must achieve, how to achieve it. There's nothing in it that's business as usual, that's normal. He's just being as out of control as he can be. As much as Hajun likes it.