Sempiternal: • Savages • || BOOK 6#

26. Issue: Namjoon

I would like to forget what I have just seen. Write it off as just another dream. What if it wasn't Jimin and Hajun? What if it was other people and he mistook them for them? Maybe. Who can deny it? No one. That's the point.

He's desperate to reject that Jimin was completely lost. Not only has he lost Jungkook, who disappeared or died - it is very likely that he died - but now he lost Jimin as well. Hoseok will be next if they didn't lose him already, he's convinced of it. Then it would be Jin, Yoongi, Taehyung. The order doesn't interest him, it just makes him want to cry more than he usually does.

Junhan behaves a bit distant, he looks regretful, like a kind of nervous and frightened puppy. That makes Namjoon feel good. Seeing him being unhappy and annoyed. He hopes to make him worse at the cost of his suffering. Contagion his depression to him in some fucking way and get him to stop nagging.

He knows it's not possible.

He knows it's too much to ask.

"Sad female. I know sad female," Junhan assures him as soon as they are in the nest. Namjoon doesn't know if he'd rather be here or be in that miserable hole he was in what felt like too long, "but Junhan do things right. Junhan will make female very happy."

"I don't want you to make me happy. I am not a female whore. I am NO FUCKING THING OF YOURS AND I WANT YOU TO DISAPPEAR FROM MY FUCKING SIGHT AND MY LIFE AT ONCE!" Namjoon screams hysterically and too upset at the mere assertion that it can work.

That Junhan is his boyfriend or some shit like that. He isn't. Junhan is none of his six boyfriends and Namjoon hates that he talks as if he is. It goes much deeper than that. Kind of a nasty marital feeling.

Junhan behaves like a husband and nothing fills Namjoon with more anger than that. It was one of those things he was really, really looking forward to. Maybe marrying one of the others. Jin or Yoongi maybe, Jimin as a safer option if the other two didn't want to. Not for the title itself, just to live the moment; to make it super, super private and so it would be symbolic, to get married all together.

A fantasy that was ruined five years ago... Five years? Is it six now? He doesn't know, but it fizzled out. Reminding him of it like this is worse than a kick in the testicles and he hates it. Genuinely depresses him.

"Why difficult female, Junhan does everything right-"

"NO YOU DON'T! YOU DON'T! YOU JUST MAKE EVERYTHING WORSE! YOU JUST...!"

"Who do you think you're talking to like that?"

Namjoon gives a choked groan, backing up What is Junghwa doing here? Who made him come here? How is it possible for him to be here? He steps back, filled with panic in his eyes and throughout his body. As if every ounce of anger and strength he had vanishes. His lips trembling, eyes restless and body flimsy as the military man approaches at his usual calm pace.

He holds Namjoon by the face roughly.

"Who do you think you're talking to like that? You impertinent bitch" Junghwa mumbles, frowning and digging his fingers deeper into his cheeks "Are you strong now? Are you doing anything but crying and hiding like a fucking coward now?" he questions, smiling cynically at that." I thought you were already a hopeless crybaby, I guess you're still entertaining. Still good for something."

"Alej- NO! GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY!"

No matter how much Namjoon kicks, it has no effect. Junghwa settled in place, steely as if made of iron. Namjoon is forced to shut up by the blow to the stomach that knocks him out of breath and makes him regurgitate bile. Junghwa turns him upside down, still holding him writhing. He pulls down his pants, Namjoon's and directs his penis to the Idol's ass.