Crimson hearts

Five: Talk

~Celeste~

"Have you gained weight?" I turned around to come face to face with Jaylen, my best friend.

Jaylen had a perfect smile and a confident air about her. Her hair was always styled to perfection, and her makeup was flawless. She wore the latest fashions and had a natural grace that made her the envy of every girl. She was the kind of girl who had everything going for her, and she knew it. Jaylen was like the popular girl at school, except we don't go to school. she has a lot of friends and hangs out at parties and clubs almost every night.

"I don't know, do you really think so?" I covered my stomach with my hands feeling nauseous, like I always do near food, or at the mention of food.

"Not your stomach silly, your thighs are getting way thicker." Jaylen snorted, as if what she said was funny.

I stifled my tears with a nervous laughter as I stared down at my body.

She's right. She always is.

•••

I crouched down in front of the toilet and pulled my hair up into a pony tail.

I have to do this.

I stuck to fingers in my throat ready for the disgusting feeling and taste all over again.

Once I've thrown up I rested my back against the stall door, throwing my bead back and silently cried.

I've been doing this for the past few months now, it's become a habit. Other than the fact that I can barely afford to eat, because when I do, I have to do this.

I stared at the toilet as I got up and flushed it. I got out of the stall making sure no one was there, I washed the vomit on my mouth away and I washed my face to get rid of the puffiness and tears under my eyes.

I got out of the toilet and put my apron back on ready to get back to work.

"Yo, Cel, uh you're on break for now, sunshine." Enzo beamed at me, making me smile brightly.

"What do you mean? It's our busy hour I got to help--"

"Don't," Enzo interrupted me "We got this, go on your break!"

I really wanted this break, but I felt like I couldn't go on break, not when it's our busy hour.

"It's okay, Enzo, I just ate, and I have fun helping you guys with work! Don't worry about me."

"Whatever you say, Sunshine."

I made my way to the usual booth I got used to serve every single day.

Mateo.

I got to the booth and I saw Quinn and Luis bickering like they always do.

"No, why would you two come here without me?" Quin pointed an accusing finger at Luis and Mateo.

"We don't always have t--"

"Because you're boring as fuck." Mateo interrupted Luis as he looked down at his phone and scrolled.

Am I just invisible at the point?