I can't fucking believe I'm talking to Butters after school. I need to talk to him about the project and also apologize, but aren't we on the same page now. We both made each other I guess...uncomfortable? Was I though? I'm not sure I understood or understand.
It was so....
Scary but.....calming?
His touch.
The way he softy weighed his fingers on mine and.....worried for me?
It was different.
I didn't like it.
The change.
The sudden worry for me and care scared me.
Then again I felt like I did like it.
The thought of him holding my hand; fingers intertwined.
It's to.....
To surprising.
To shock factor.
My head hurts.
I could use a drink.
Yeah.
~That sounds nice-
It sure does.
....................umm...
Aw goddamit I'm talking to myself again!
"Aw fucking duck shit man!" I groan as I grasp my head for dramatic detail. No one was even around me to see, I just felt like overdramatizing my movement. It just felt right. Only rarely do things feel right anymore so I just go with the feeling when I find it.
It's difficult to find...
They make it hard to feel and find it.
~blame everything on me shit face~
It had been almost a year since I've been hearing them. They say they love me. I sorta believe. I don't like admitting to myself that they exist. (Even tho me talking to them 100% proves the point of matter) It's funny but nice. The little buddy or buddies, they come and go. Sometimes they are humorous and enjoyable to be around.
Other times.
~𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐏~
I grasp my head in sudden panic as the pain starts to rise.
No please. Please.
Tears form in my eyes and I clench my teeth trying to attack the world. The people. The person.
Them.
I don't want to cry.
He doesn't deserve to be cried for.
He hurt us.
He hurt me.
~what are you talking about~
~we are no he~
~we are you~
~you will someday be 𝐇𝐈𝐌~
"Stop please" I whimper pulling myself into a ball.
"I'm not him"
~you lie~
~we are not him Stan Marsh~
~we are our own~
~mostly though we are you~
~you though are him!~
~I love you....hehe~
I-I love you too.
-
-
"You doing okay kid slouched awkwardly in the corner?"
What?
"Heyy....are ya sleeping?"
Who?
"Oh....Stan..oh goodness are you alright?"
Huh?
"Shucks..you don't look like you've been sleeping"
"You look as tho-"
"Oh...."
"Stan, why have you been crying?"
That voice.
"B-butters?" I sniffled.
YOU ARE READING
Stutters 🧌
FanfictionStan has been going crazy since his fathers death seeing things and hearing voices. Scared of turning into his father he losses himself more everyday. The only think keeping him sane is... Butters, the kindest person in all of South Park is scared o...
