For real I think sometimes that some higher power doesn't want me to enjoy life. Do you feel same or is it just me? Like..
When I have something nice coming what I wait with happiness gets going down. And before that when it comes near it just gets fucked up. Doesn't matter what it is or who I was hoping to hang up with. The person that I was waiting to meet up or hoping that that person is meant to be in my life, they just someday become to fade away or slips of my hands with time.
They said that: "The time is here to show us what is meant to be in our lifes." If that is true, then fuck it. I hate it.
Like, I just met up person who I was really hoping that he is going to be in my life for God knows how long. He is the first person to leave me as soon as I were getting to feel safe or just thinking that he may actually like me and never leave. AS SOON AS I go sit down every fucking night and waiting him to write me "good night" -text, what he used to do. And then puff, he is gone but still exist. You know? I still don't know what made him letting me go. Now I go every night and morning to the bathroom and I sit there and think: "What is wrong with me?"
I look at the mirror. I see girl that can finally feel that she is beautiful, gorgeous, kind, and that girl is trying to put everyone else before her. HOW DOES SHE STILL THINKS THAT WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER? Am I going crazy or what is going on? Am I in someone elses dream or is this mine? If so, wake me please up.
