seventeen going under - jeremiah fisher

ch.6

"Vivian?" I snapped, whipping my body around to face Jeremiah. Water pooled at my feet and my hair was plastered to my cheeks. Jeremiah was treading the water, a confused look on his face. "Fucking Vivian?" I repeated, louder.

"What about her?" He asked, panic rising in his voice and he swam closer to the edge. I waved his phone in the air, not caring that it could fly out of my hand and right into the pool.

"She's texting you," I said. His face went pale and he pulled himself out of the water, water dripping off his body and landing on the cement pavement with a splash. "I thought you didn't speak to her anymore." Vivian. Her blonde hair, freckled cheeks, and bright blue eyes that matched Jeremiah's like perfect jewels.

"I don't," he said, grabbing for his phone but I pulled it away from his grasp. He stumbled forward a little and I stepped back. "I don't," he repeated. We stared at each other for a while. His blue eyes, the ocean blue eyes that I loved, were pleading with me to believe him. All I could see was Vivian swimming in them where I should be.

"Then why is she texting you?" I pushed his phone into his chest and he grabbed the phone with one hand and my wrist with his other. I wanted to pull it away, but I didn't.

"I don't know," he said, looking down at the phone briefly. He pressed a few buttons and then showed me the phone. Number unknown. "She's gone, okay? She's gone."

Last spring, age 16

I hated parties. I hated the noise, the smell, the boring small talk with people you didn't really know but felt obligated to speak to. I usually ended up crowded in the corner with the other losers, a bottle of water in my hands because after a few drinks I tend to tap out. I checked my watch. Midnight.

I started my search for Jeremiah. Our curfew was coming up but since it was a weekend and Conrad was around here somewhere, the moms were a little more lax about it. I found him on the back porch playing beer pong with Cheater Chester from math class, Jonah from the football team, and Vivian MacDonald. His arm was slung around her shoulders as he tossed the white ping pong ball across the table, sinking it into Chester's cup.

He pushed his arms up with fists at the end, hollowing in celebration before he picked Vivian up and spun her around in his arms. He noticed me standing there and set Vivian back down on her feet. "YN!" He called.

I couldn't help but laugh, but he was drunk. Really drunk. I could smell it on his breath when he picked me up the same way he picked up Vivian just moments prior. "Are you ready to go yet?" I asked through my laughter as he spun me around.

"No," he begged. He sent me down and put his hands together in prayer. "No, please, no." I put my hands on the outside of his and said: "yes."

He stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. "Let me finish this game?" I glanced over to the ping pong table to see Vivian leaning her hip against the edge with her arms crossed. She was glaring at me like I was a nuisance fly circling her dinner. "Please." His voice brought me back to him. His blue eyes were hazy with alcohol but he was still Jeremiah.

"Okay," I gave in. He squeezed my arms three times and ran back to the table. I sat down on the back porch steps and watched as Jeremiah played. He was starting to miss more than he was making, the beer getting to his brain. Vivian kept putting her hand on Jeremiah's back and laughing in his face. He leaned down to her height, taking the cup from her hand that she was supposed to drink and they were too close. My palms started to sweat and I wanted to punch her. I've never wanted to really punch anyone before.

After the last ball was thrown and Jeremiah lost, he told Chester and Jonah to do one more round because he can't go home a loser. He didn't even glance back at me until I cleared my throat, interrupting the group as they set the cups back up. Jeremiah excused himself by touching Vivian on the hand and lingering it too long. "I'm sorry, I know I said when the game was done."