To Kill or Love

Past Trauma

***Trigger Warning***

I do as Brexton asked me to and brace myself. I knew in my gut that whatever he's going to say will change things. Once it's out in the open, I have to accept it as the truth. Words are hard to form at the moment, so I don't even try to speak. I simply nod for him to continue.

Inara rolls her eyes at him. "Stop dragging it out and tell her already!"

Brexton frowns at Inara before going on. "It's not the type of thing you just throw on someone. Let me do this my way, okay?"

She shrugs. "Go for it, you'll do what you want regardless."

Their bickering is making me frustrated. I'm tired of delays. I want answers now. I don't tell them that though because I know it'll only draw this out more than it already is.

Brexton takes a few deep breaths. "I think I should start by reminding you that I'm an IT. The skills I've learned through my training have also made me very good with hacking into all kinds of databases."

I have no idea what this had to with a murder investigation, but I trust he's mentioning it for a reason. "Makes sense." I say, urging him to keep talking.

He looks at Inara and then back at me. "Has Inara told you what she's use to do for a living?"

I remember her telling me she was a stripper. "Yeah, she has."

He doesn't seem surprised I know. "A few days prior to the incident, I noticed she was acting strange. She was more on edge and was crying a lot. I knew doing what she did for a living was dangerous, especially with her creepy boss. So, I may be a little overprotective of her and I may have hacked into her boss's social media accounts to get some answers."

He pauses to take a sip of his orange juice, looking increasingly nervous as the story goes on.

I pat his hand to make him feel supported. "What I found was way more than I bargained for. I found messages between her boss and multiple other guys discussing the girls they had paid for and when they were getting their purchase."

A dark look flashes across his face. He looks disgusted, as if he's reliving what happened. "I found out that he was meeting a group of men that night and my sister was one of the girls he was exchanging for a hefty sum. My instinct was to kill him, but I called Inara and told her to stay home that day. When she told me she couldn't, that he was blackmailing her by threatening to kill our entire family and her work friends, I decided I was going to bring this guy down face to face. I got the address and time they were meeting from the messages and I went to shut the whole operation down. I was so angry I didn't even think about backup, the only thing I brought was my fully loaded rifle."

Now, I was the one chugging my orange juice. I was starting to get anxious about where this story was headed. All I could think was that I desperately wish he would've brought backup with him that day. It seemed to me like a suicide mission. Part of me was mad at him for not being more careful, but another part of me understood how easy it is to loose your head when it's someone you care about. Heck, I moved clean across the country with a man I couldn't stand to keep my family safe.

He lowers his gaze. "I busted into the warehouse they were at, thinking I was going to be some kind of hero. I knew instantly that wasn't going to be the case."

Inara shutters and mumbles. "I told you not to get involved, you should've listened to me." Her sad eyes begin to feel with water.

Brexton rubs the back of his neck, looking equally as broken-hearted. "When I busted in and yelled that I was a cop, all of his buyers fled, but he didn't. He stared angrily at me as the men fleeing yelled that they wanted their money back. When I pulled out my pistol, Inara's boss grabbed her and held her at gunpoint directly in front of him. He blocked my shot at him. I guess he wasn't bluffing about killing her entire family because he'd done his research. He knew I was her brother. He warned me that if I left or called any backup he was going to kill her and make me watch. I agreed, not knowing what else to do but then he started making more demands. He made me apologize to him and yell that I'm an idiot. The demands got progressively worse."

He pauses, his breathing becoming more uneven.

I scoot closer to him. "It's okay, you can tell me. I need to know so we can fix this."

He looks at me then his eyes drift downwards. "I didn't fight against any of these demands until the last one. H-h-he told me t-t-to, ummm." He stutters, his voice breaking.

I squeeze his arm tightly. I've never seen Brexton so upset. My heart burns as I look at his broken form. "What did he ask you to do?" I ask him softly.

He relaxes a bit. "He asked me to make a decision. He said I had to either choose for Inara to die or all the other girls to die."

My eyes get wide. "Brexton, I'm so sorry! I can't imagine what you wasn't going through your head in that moment. What did you do?"

He squeezes a hand around his cup. "I choose Inara. I'm her brother, it's my job to protect her no matter what."

Inara starts to sob. "I can protect myself! They were my friends! There was nine of them and only one of me."

I walk over to her and give her a big hug. When her cries stop, I make my way back to my chair and face Brexton.

I watch as his cup breaks into pieces from his unyielding grip. "That's the point Inara, there's only one of you!"

I stay frozen, unsure of what to do. I don't know what I would've done in his shoes. Would I have been able to let my sister be killed if it meant I'd be sparing nine girls lives? "So he killed them?"

Brexton holds his head in his hands. "That was his last demand. He said he wasn't going to move from his position and give me the chance to shoot him and run. He said I had to be the one to do it. H-h-he said I had t-t-to kill those girls."

I cover my mouth, sure that I had heard him wrong. "What?"

He keeps his head low. "I said I wasn't going to do it, I told him I refused to kill anyone. I thought I was going to call his bluff but instead I angered him. He shot Inara in the stomach. He refused to release Inara or let me call an ambulance until I killed all those girls with my gun that had my DNA all over it."

"And?" I said, my lip quivering.

I watch as he swallows the lump in his throat. "I did it."

I stand up, but I'm not sure why. "You killed those nine girls?"

He nods as if it's painful for him to do so. " I couldn't let Inara die."

Inara abruptly gets up and leaves the room. I follow her with my eyes, wanting to go after her, but needing to gain control of myself first.

Brexton's shiny emerald eyes finally meet mine. "I'm so sorry, you must hate me. I know I hate me. It haunts me everyday. I see their terrified faces everywhere I go. I was praying they'd somehow make it. I tried to shoot them all somewhere where they had a chance of survival, but it was all in vain. I even called an ambulance as soon as he left, but it was too late. They were gone."

I start stacking all of our plates and carrying them to the sink. "I don't know what to feel right now if I'm being honest." I say as I turn my back to him.

I feel him come up behind me as I clean the dishes. "I am so sorry."

He tries to help but I put a hand up to stop him. "I'm sorry Mr. McGomery but I need space. As you can imagine, this is alot to take in."

He moves back, giving me the space I asked for. "There's one last thing I think you should know."

I aggressively clean the bowl in my hand. "Don't you think I've learned enough for one day?"

"I'm pretty sure Brant is the one who poisoned you. I saw him leaving the hospital the day you fainted."