When He Loved Me

Ch. 13 Catching Feelings

Nico bought a lot of stuff from the grocery. I told him I won't have the time, nor the capacity to eat all of them as my flight will be early the next morning.

He insisted and said he trusts my appetite and that if I fail, he'll eat them all.

As we shop, Nico turned back into a jolly person, joking with me as if the last few minutes have not happened. As if we hasn't been almost kissing barely an hour ago.

After our long trip to the grocery - most of the time spent standing in line as most people were panic buying - it was already past 12 when we got back to my AirBnB.

Nico started preparing "breakfast" and as promised, he cooked me my favorite egg dish, ginisang itlog na may kamatis along with a ton of other breakfast food.

"I haven't had a meal like this in a long time," I said.

"Really? Why?" Nico asked, looking up from his plate.

"I don't cook a lot. Actually, I don't cook period." I added with a giggle. "I almost forgot that this is my favorite breakfast, that this is the way I like to take my eggs. Thank you for reminding me."

Nico just stared at me, and I cannot read what's going on on his mind. In the end, it was I who started to look away, flashing him with an akward smile.

After that, the two of us started eating in companionable silence, only speaking occasionaly to ask the other to pass the ketchup bottle.

When we were done eating, I volunteered to wash the dishes, telling Nico that I'll do it as he's already the one who cooked.

Nico walked over to the couch and turned on the TV. As its sound drones on, I cannot help but think of how anyone who'll see us now might think we're two people living in domestic bliss rather than two exes who have deeply hurt each other before.

"What are these?" Nico suddenly asked, pointing to a box in the corner of the room. "Are these yours?"

"Oh, yeah." I replied, wiping my hands dry and walking over to him. "These are just old documents from our old house here in Manila. I'm supposed to take them back to my mother to sort out."

"Ok."

"I believe I saw our old yearbook there when I packed it," I said.

"Really?" He said, smiling.

"Yeah, you wanna see it?"

"Sure."

I opened our old high school yearbook and soon enough the two of us are seated on the couch pointing at people, recalling anecdotes, and just all around being silly. At one point, I don't recall exactly, we started drinking beer and popping chips onto our mouth.

"Look, that's you!" He yelled, pointing at a very ugly photo of me being chased by one of our classmates.

Nico started laughing as I try to take the yearbook away from him.

"Give me that!" I said, trying to grab the book which he lifted up away from my reach.

"When was this? What are you doing here?"

"Let me see it! How can I tell you? Give it to me!" I sad as I reached over his torso trying to reach for the book.

"Alright, alright." He said, finally handing it to me.

I examined the book and looked at the photo."I believe I'm trying to avoid being put in the jail booth?" I said, smiling fondly at the memory.

"You're really never one to be pinned down," he said."

"Of course!" I said haughtily.

"That's my girl!" Nico said, suddenly grabbing my head and giving me a quick kiss on the side of my forehead.

I looked up at him, slightly shocked and he just grinned at me, which just led me to smile back.

"You wanna watch the sunset?" He suddenly asked.

"Where?"

"In your balcony. You have a nice view there."

"Sure." I said, but I've never been more confused before.

***

As we were staring at the sky turn from being kissed with a blush of pink to being fiery red, Nico pulled two chairs outside and the two of us started singing along with the music playing from his phone.

When we're just listening to these OPM bands of the 2000s things seem very easy and I quickly forget this awkward tension between us that keeps on butting its ugly head.

"Do you want more beer?" I asked him and he said yes.  Soon enough our conversations started to flow more easily.

"Who do you think was the most beautiful girl in our class?" I asked

"Janica," he said without any pause.

"Who?!" I asked, slapping his left arm. I spinned so fast to face him, I almost had a whiplash.

"Aw!" He said, breaking out into laughter.

"You didn't even hesitate," I said indignantly, but I can feel a smile forming in my lips.

"Well, she was." He said, still laughing as he rubs his arm. "And I was the most handsome."

That finally had me laugh. "What the...where is this confidence coming from?" I asked rhetorically.

"Well, you fell for me, so that made me the most handsome guy in our class." He continued, raising his bottle at me and giving me a wink.

My jaw dropped. "I can't believe..." I shook my head.

"If my falling for you makes you the most handsome, then why doesn't your falling for me make me the most beautiful?" I asked.

"I fell for you because you were the kindest." He said earnestly, serious as a heart attack.

I stood up, stared at him mouth agape and with my hands on my waist.

He then started laughing again and stood up to pull me into a friendly hug.

"Shh, shh, I was just joking," he said as he pats my head, as if to calm me down like a pet. "You were the smartest, kindest, pretiest girl for me back then."

I looked at him with the most evil eye. "I don't believe you," I said stepping out of his embrace.

He stepped back, getting another swig of his beer, "I know you do" he said and I rolled my eyes while smiling at him.

"K. I agree that Janica's prettier than me," I said.

"She's not you, though." He said as he stared into the Manila skyline.

I stared at the twinkling lights too. As I listened to the sound of the cars and people below, rushing to go wherever they're going, I wish I could freeze this moment. I wish I could bottle this feeling of ease, of comfort, of feeling like, finally, I've come home.

***