Custavino Series #1: His Tainted Obsession

23

CHAPTER
23

Tanghali na nang matapos kaming mag usap sa kung ano anong bagay, pero mas lamang ang kalokohan at landian na naganap sa loob ng kusina.

Napilitan akong iwan si Timothy sa taas dahil nagsimula na s'yang asikasohin ang trabaho n'ya.

Kinalikot ko naman ang phone n'ya na wala namang ibang laman kundi ang mangilan ngilang picture nilang pamilya.

Nahagip ng paningin ko ang litrato ni Ian na nakatayo sa tabi ng isang ginang na kahit matanda na ay nakikita mo pa rin ang kagandahan n'ya.

Nasaan ka na kaya si Ian?

Galit ako pero hindi ibig sabihin non ay hindi na'ko nagaantay sa paliwanag n'ya.

Explaining what you've done can also help the person to understand you, it can also help them to heal and forgive you.

Learn to face your mistake and take the lesson it gave.

For me it doesn't make sense, he did that on purpose, and he did that because he loves me. Does it really meant love? Or he just want to do it because it gives him the satisfaction, satisfaction that he's enjoying someone's suffering.

Nagmukha akong tanga, I loved him, I thought I know him but I was wrong I don't know him. He became someone that I didn't expect.

Ian acted so good that he make me believe he's the boy I meet decades ago. He acted that he was Timothy.

He hurt me intentionally, he make me believed and I believe in him because I trust him so much that I didn't even think that he can do that.

I want to hear his explanation, I want to know why? I deserve an explanation, I deserve to know the real reason why he did that.

But I think it's not enough reason to forgive him. Sorry can't fix a broken glass, one sorry can't remove anything. Sorry can't remove the pain I feel. Sorry are not enough. Sorry will never be enough when it's damage you the most.

There's so much type of love, a love that you want that person, a love that you can endure anything, a love that you're willing to sacrifice, and there's a love that shallow but can hurt you the most or can damage you the most. But the most scary part of love is when there's someone who are willing to manipulate everything just to have you. A love that selfish, a love that sacrifice everything even yourself, a type of love that can ruin everyone around you.

And I think Ian feel are the last one, he loves me but he manipulated the things. He manipulated everything, he fooled everyone, he's selfish. He only thinks about his own feelings.

“Hey, are you okay?” Napalingon ako kay Timothy ng makita itong nakatingin sa'kin may bahid na pag aalala ang mga mata.

He doesn't deserved it, I smiled at him para mapakita na okay lang. I'm fine, napalalim lang talaga siguro ang pag iisip ko.

“Can I have a penny of your thoughts?” Naglalakad na s'ya papunta sa pwesto ko at ng makalapit ay 'agad na pumulupot ang mga braso n'ya sa bewang ko.

“Ahm, naisip ko lang naman—” natigil ako sa pagsalita ng maramdaman ko ang labi n'ya sa leeg ko. “Timothy,” pigil ungol na pagtawag ko sa kanya.

“Hmm? Go on, I'm listening baby,” nakikiliti ako ng magsalita s'ya dahil tumatama ang labi n'ya sa leeg ko.

“Na-di-distract ako,” tumingin ako sa kanya ng dahan dahan s'yang lumayo sa leeg ko.

“Okay, later after you share your thoughts,” saad nito sa'kin at yumakap nalang. “Talk, hmm.”

“Tssk, wag na, ba't ka bumaba tapos mo na trabaho mo?”

“Yeah.”

“Lahat?”

“Lahat.”

“Mabuti naman pahinga ka muna tapos maya-maya gagawan kita ng meryenda,” naramdaman kong ngumiti s'ya dahil sa bahagyang pag tambok ng kanyang pisngi sa leeg ko.

“I love you,” malambing na bulong s'ya sa'kin nagsisimula na naman na humalik sa leeg ko.

“Hmm, I love you too.”

Hindi ko alam kung anong ginawa ng dating ako sa nakaraan kong buhay para makaramdam ng ganito kasarap na pagmamahal at para makakuha ng lalaking ganito kabait.

Wala kaming ibang nagawa sa hapon na 'yon kundi ang magkwentohan, lambingan, at kung ano pa.

“Timothy, what if mag trabaho ulit ako?”

Timothy looked at me like he's answering an puzzles, I hold his hand to assure to him that I'm fine.

“Can you just stay here by my side?” malambing ang tono ng boses n'ya kaya napahinga nalang ako ng malalim dahil wala naman na akong magagawa kundi ang manatili sa tabi n'ya. “Stay by my side, don't leave me, and last love me that's your work, baby.”

Hindi na'ko nagsalita at hinayaan nalang s'ya na magpahinga, nakaupo na kami ngayon sa sofa dito sa salas ng malawak n'yang bahay. Ginawa n'yang unan ang hita ko kaya malaya kong nakikita ang buong mukha n'ya.

Namalayan ko nalang ay nakahiga na'ko sa malambot na kama, nakatulog pala ako habang nakatingin sa natutulog n'yang itsura. Babangon na sana ako sa pagkahihiga ko ng bumukas naman ang pinto ng kwarto kung nasaan ako.

“Gising ka na,” bungad sa'kin ni Timothy ng magtama ang mata naming dalawa.

A small smile mediately appear in my lips, 'agad n'yang pinatakan ng magaan na halik ang labi ko.

“Kanina ka pa gising?”

“Yeah, nagluto na rin ako. Let's eat?”

Tumango ako sakanya at bahagya rin na umusog para makaupo s'ya sa tabi ko, sabay namin na kinain ang niluto n'yang steal na may kasamang mashed potatoes. He's a good cook, I can say. May mga kung ano ano pang nakalagay sa plato na 'di ko alam ang mga tawag pero masasabi ko na masarap ang mga 'yon.

Before we finish our dinner he suddenly open a topic about my family's disappearance.

“Do you want me to find him also?”

“Hindi na. Salamat.”

“I'm still on process to find your family. I'm sorry if it's taking longer than I said.”

Ngumiti ako ng marahan sakanya at hinawakan ang mga pisngi nito bago s'ya patakan ng ilang halik sa labi. 'Di ko man sabihin alam kong alam na n'ya ang gusto kong iparating sakanya.