vent

1.

7/08

honestly I don't know what to feel anymore. Each day i try to find reasons to live peacefully but nothing happens. i pray to god everyday for some miracle but it never happens.
Dad my day went so well today. i was feeling happy today. Why? because i achieved something for myself. I was always conscious about my weight and body so i never wore something tight or formal. But i did today I DID IT. i didn't think much of my weight. I was so happy. I thought that after doing some assignments I'll sleep peacefully without any thoughts, but guess what dad? u didn't want that right?

How you felt to say the words "i don't wanna live anymore" to the wife who is doing everything for you. She just gave you some snacks to eat and all you did was yell at her and said those harsh words to her. Was it her fault? was it her fault that she cares for you so much? WHY U HAVE TO ACT LIKE A GODDAMN CHILD?

no it's not my mom's fault it's not my and not my brother's too. IT'S YOUR FAULT. YOU RUINED YOUR LIFE YOU RUINED MY MOM'S LIFE. It's easy to say these things. I KNOW THERE ARE THINGS U R GOING THRU TOO. but is it necessary to drink alcohol EACH AMD EVERY FUCKING DAY? YOU HAVE 2 PRECIOUS CHILDREN A WIFE WHO JUST THINK OF YOU. BUT NO U HAVE TO DRINK THAT MF ALCOHOL AND ACT LIKE AN ASSHOLE TO EVERYONE.

There are ways to leave alcohol there are! but if u don't care enough about ur life u won't do it man.