— Andrea's pov —
: During Ian's party :
Cairo and I parted our ways. I figured he had something important to do. Before going to meet Ian, I went to my room to change into a body fit red dress. I walked downstairs to the party and got a glass of wine on my way to Ian. I spotted him talking to someone so I decided to finish my wine while waiting for them to finish talking. As I finished drinking, I placed the wine glass on one of the tables and hopped my way to Ian.
"Ian!" I jump-hugged him.
"Andrea, still the same precious jewel" He returned the hug and we both spun around.
"I missed you so fucking much where have you been?" I laughed, still not breaking the tight hug.
"I missed you so much too, I've been around the world looking for the one" he winked.
"I call bullshit, you can't even keep a pet" I giggled.
"Now, that's offensive, ouch. Where've you been? I've been searching for you that's the real reason why I wasn't here, no bullshit." We both laughed.
"Turns out I'm Rapunzel" I made a slight pout.
"Trapped in the castle with mommy? Poor gem" he ruffled my hair and I broke our hug.
"Not my hair" I made a fake sad face. "Stop with those nicknames, I'm a grown ass woman" I put my hands on both my hips.
"Yeah yeah, because a grown ass woman would be trapped in the castle with mommy and be forced to marry a criminal, sure." He bickered. I looked at him.
"How'd you know?" I asked genuinely.
"Prince charming told me he found you." I laughed at his answer.
"Prince charming? More on Prince cheater" I joked nonchalantly and he looked at me with concern in his eyes.
"Hey" he said softly.
"I don't wanna talk about it" I said avoiding his gaze.
"No, it's just, can we talk in my office privately? I need to show you something."
"Fine" He lead me to his office on the fifth floor and he gave me a lot of folders which looked like it contained some important documents.
"I'm not going to read all of this." I gave him back the folders.
"No, it's Cairo's documents. His therapist's notes. I figured you'd understand since you know these things." He opened the document and showed me. I saw some of the things his therapist wrote. Gets triggered by the mention of the topic, trauma response: insomnia, fear of being alone and vulnerable. My eyes trailed off.
"What kind of therapist writes like this. Is this a quack what the fuck." I got mad.
"Andrea, that's not it. He's been to multiple therapist already and they can't get him to open up. He's probably experiencing something deeper than we know. I'm also suspecting he really didn't cheat on you or at least didn't mean to. The night after he slept with another girl I scolded him and we got into a fight until he was begging me to believe him. He was on his knees with desperation in his eyes as he kept repeating: I promise I didn't do it. I didn't know. I just woke up. Please believe me." He explained.
"What, you want me to be his therapist or something? I'm not a therapist, Ian—at least not yet. I'm not going to console him for the mistake he's done. If he didn't cheat why wouldn't he look at me that night? Why wouldn't he talk to me? Why did he run away? Why did he fucking turn his back to me? Why didn't he give me at least a fucking assurance?" I started sobbing and Ian helped me calm down.
The moment I stopped crying, Ian escorted me to my room and insisted on staying in. He didn't want me to get drunk because of the past and he didn't want to see me drunk because of him bringing up the topic and trying to justify Cairo's actions. I also had problems, why does it feel like no one is on my side.
I shut the door to my room and locked myself. I changed in a comfortable night dress and when I was done, I sat down on a corner and hugged my legs as I started crying again. I cried and cried until there were no more tears left, until all the pain went away but what hurts the most is the fact that the grief was insurmountable. I didn't stop crying, the pain didn't go away, my body didn't go numb. I wiped away my tears harshly as I heard a knock on the door. I opened up and saw the person who hurt me the most standing in front of my doorstep.
"What do you want" I asked trying not to meet his eyes. I could sense that he noticed I've been crying since his gaze soften the moment he looked at me but didn't question it.
"I just may like to have a conversation." He softly smiled at me. I welcomed him inside and he got in.
"Start talking, you've hurt me enough. I'll listen to you, know that." I stated trying to sound normal.
"Promise me you'll listen to me." He said with pleading eyes.
"I told you I'll listen to you." I looked at him in the eyes.
"No, promise me you'll only listen, that you won't talk back unless I ask you, just shut up and listen to me." I nodded at his words and he smiled.
"I just—I wish I'd put up more of a fight. I let my fears get the best of me that I forgot about you. I forgot you were there for me. I didn't think you'd believe me. I didn't think you'd still want me after knowing everything. I saw how you looked at me the moment you heard I slept with another girl. I swear I wanted to tell you everything but you looked at me like you didn't know me, like I was a stranger, like you'd rather forget me." His eyes began to tear up. "I swear that wasn't what happened, Andrea but I don't think you'll ever accept me after this. I think it's better if you see me as a cheater and disgusting than you see me as disgusting and weak. I don't think I'm ready, but please do know I would never do that to you, I would never do anything that could hurt you." He cried. I began tearing up again. I took him in my arms and let him cry on me. I could feel his tears splashing on my neck to my collarbone. I can feel his tears ricocheting. I could feel his breath. I could feel how hurt he is. I could feel how sincere he is that I just want to believe him. I'll always believe in you, Cai. I could feel our hearts racing. I cried silently and rubbed soothing circles on his back. He stopped crying for a while and I gently looked down to him. I can see he had drifted to sleep not so long ago. You really meant it when you said you're only comfortable with me. He's only comfortable with me that even when his neck is hurting with his uncomfortable position, he still slept peacefully in my arms. He's comfortable with me seeing him cry, seeing his beautiful eyes fill and overflow with tears. He's also vulnerable around me. But he never let his guard down, he always protects me even if it means risking his life. I settled us on my bed carefully trying not to wake him up. I know if he woke up, he wouldn't want to disturb me and would go to his room and I know damn well he would also not be able to sleep. It would be hard for him to sleep and I don't want him drinking that strong drug. His life shouldn't depend on a drug, a fucking pill. I hugged him desperately as I drifted to sleep, scared he would disappear again once I let go of him.
"Don't think of anything. Don't say anything, not even a word. Just give me a smile. I still can't believe it. All of this seems like a dream. Don't try to disappear" -butterfly
