~ Ronance Oneshots ~

aphrodite has blessed you, truly.

(Rewrite of 'your beautiful regardless' !!!!)

TW - ED mentions, Body Shaming, Insecurities, Starving mentions and SH mentions.
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Nancy had never felt necessary good about her body.

It felt almost uncomfortable in a sense. Like a scratchy jumper that you just want to tear off your skin. Or like a grimy shirt that didn't feel quite right. It didn't feel comfy.

Maybe it was her perfectionist side that had gotten her into this mess. The way she always had to get something just right to be happy with it. She had been able to acomplish that with other things. Art works, Literature assignments from her old teachers. But, her body and skin just wasn't one of those things.

She missed being a kid. When your a small kid, you don't care what people think of you. You could do the most ridiculous of things and people wouldn't care, because your a child. But she wasn't a child anymore.

Now, It felt like eyes were constantly on her. Constantly judging her for things she couldn't control. She didn't like going out in public because of that. Eyes were scary. The eyes of people make you realise all of your imperfections. It made her feel sick.

Nancy had always been chubby. She couldn't really find out why, it was just one of those things. And no matter how hard she tried, it wouldn't go away. She tried corsets, but that made her bottom half look abnormal. She tried dieting, but it hardly worked. She even tried starving herself until she passed out one day, and that did nothing.

At times she wanted to just tear her skin off. Grab handfuls of it and rip until there was no fat left and she looked normal. Or, Until she met beauty standards for then. But she knew she would never.

She wanted to grab scissors and cut off the places in which her skin sagged. Then, she'd look like those gorgeous chiseled Greek statues. They always looked pretty no matter what they looked like.

-- --- ♡ --- --

Nancy was in the bathroom, infront of the a mirror. She didn't like the person who stared back at her. She took in a deep, shaky breath and snaked her hands on the bottom of her jumper and pulled up the fabric, revealing the skin of her stomach.

She could already feel herself tearing up at the sight of herself. She could feel her hands shake.

She twisted her torso and stared at the stretch marks along her hips and her waist. The pale purple and pink discoloured, disgusting lines that scarred her skin. She hated them. She wanted to tear them away from her skin.

Tears fell down her face and her throat felt dry. She couldn't tell if she wanted to cough or sob. Part of Nancy felt like she couldn't bare to look at herself. It almost sickened her.

She wished that she could be normal. The same as everyone else. Skinny. Pretty. Perfect.

But she wasn't perfect. She'd never be perfect. She wasn't shocked that she'd never be perfect either. Nancy knew that she would never be perfect, but she was so so disappointed. So embarrassed.

She choked out a sob and dropped the fabric of her jumper, covering her mouth with her fingers. Fingers that she felt were too fat for hands.

Nancy clamped her mouth shut and repressed any sobs that threatened to come out. She felt sick. She felt abnormal. She felt disgusting. She felt gross.

Nancy cried on the floor of the bathroom. She sobbed, she didn't care if anyone was there to watch her. She wrapped her arms around her torso and curled in on her self, tucking her head down.

"Nancy?"

Nancy flinched at the sudden voice. She looked up, her eyes wide and tear filled. Robin was stood at the doorway, obviously concerned.

Nancy felt like she couldn't speak. She wanted to talk. She wanted to scream, to yell and sob into her girlfriends shoulder until everything felt okay again. But she couldn't. She didn't quite know why, but it felt like as if her vocal chords had been damaged. All she could do was cry.

She reached her arms out towards the other and choked out another ugly, desperate sob. Robin was quick to come by her side. She practically ran over and collapsed to her knees. She wrapped her arms around the crying girl, one around her waist and the other supporting the back of her head, pressing into her shoulder.

Robin was whispering sweet little messages into her ear. Nancy couldn't hear her, couldn't make out the messages due to her own cries, but she knew they were sweet and kind. Robin would always do that, even if Nance was upset or not.

Nancy hugged Robin tightly, almost as if she was scared to let go. She cried, and sobbed, and wailed. And for once, She didn't care if Robin judged her. She knew Robin, She loved Robin with her whole heart. If Robin judged her, then it wouldn't be the same girl Nancy knew.

And for once, She didn't care.

-- --- ♡ --- --

It was a few hours afterwards. Robin had helped her into comfier pajamas and into bed. She had her head rested against Robin's chest and her arms wrapped around her waist, listening to the soft thump of her heartbeat. It was comforting, in a way. Robin had her hands snaked in Nance's curly hair, gently massaging her scalp.

"Hey, Nance?"
Robin whispered gently, moving one of her hands down to Nancy's back.

"Yeah?"
Nancy lifted her head gently as she answered, her chin on the others' sternum.

"Are you ready to talk about it?"

Nancy bit her bottom lip anxiously, she didn't reply.

"We don't have too if you aren't comfortable. But, I don't want you too have this weighing on your shoulders."

Robin's tone was gentle. She was holding Nancy gently, as if she was made of china and could break with a slightly harder touch. Nancy appreciated that a lot.

"I feel ugly."
Nancy finally said.

"Ugly? Why?"

Nancy could feel herself tear up again. She put her head back on Robin's chest and held her girlfriend tighter.

"I feel fat and uncomfortable in my own fucking skin! I'm not skinny, I'm not pretty! I want to feel pretty, for once. I dont understand why you love me even though I look like- like this! Like a pig, a fucking pig!"

Nancy rambled into Robin's chest and more tears ran down her cheeks. She didn't really think she had more tears to give.

Robin sighed sadly and sympathetically, hugging her close. Nancy was still crying onto her, although it wasn't as bad as before, which was good.

Robin sat up a little and gently pulled Nance with her, leaning Nancy's head on her shoulder. Robin then gently slid her hands beneath Nancy's shirt and traced her fingers over the stretch marks.

Nancy flinched slightly at the touch, but made no attempt to move away from Robin whatsoever.

Robin gently traced them, her fingers practically dancing over the rough skin.

"Aphrodite wasn't skinny, and she's the most beautiful of them all, isn't she?"

Nancy nodded through sniffles.

"Aphrodite doesn't meet beauty standards. She doesn't need them. And neither do you, Nancy Wheeler," Robin paused before continuing, "Because you are so beautiful. You're the prettiest most gorgeous person I have ever met in my life. I love you because you're you. Not just for how beautiful you are."

Robin now had her hands against Nancy's stomach, gently rubbing her waist with her fingertips.

Nancy sniffled again, burying her face in Robin's shoulder.

With Robin, She felt beautiful.

-- --- ♡ --- --

{1280 Words}