The Flowers In Your Garden

Chapter 2 - Freezing, Shaking, and Cold

Losing someone. Something we all go through as humans. Whether it's the loss of loved ones, one's self, or even losing hope. I feel like I've lost all three. Like every time I think I'm swimming to shore, I just end up drowning in a pool of my thoughts. One of which being where Dad went. Where my memories of him went, where his soul is. I wondered what he felt in those final moments. Something in me feels he deserved it. I'm trying to pinpoint why. What son thinks his Dad deserved to be hit by a car? The more I think the more I spiral. The more I spiral, the more I think. My own thoughts are attacking me, and there's no way out of them, so I just drowned.

My mom hovers over my bed, distressed. I can tell by her breathing patterns, she's breathing heavily and fast.

"You sure you're ok going to school today?"

"I'm fine Mom."

"The doctor said you need to take it easy. So come home early and drink lots of water."

I nod my head. I hear the doorbell ring, and my Mom goes to answer.

"Tyler dear, there's a girl here for you!"

I grabbed my dark green backpack and walked down the stairs. They creaked on every step I took. My mom was holding the door open as Sarah stood waving at me. Today she was wearing an oversized black pullover with shorts, leggings, and black dress shoes. She had a pink streak in her hair that wasn't there Friday. I point at the streak as I walk outside.

"Nice streak, It's very Avril Lavigne," I say

"Oh thanks, I just got bored over the weekend," she twirls the streak between her fingers.

"You're ok?" She asks with concern. I hate that question. I'm I ok? Is anyone ok? It's just something you have to ask someone after something "bad" happened to them.

"I'm fine," I sigh.

"So how was your weekend?" Sarah asks.

"Eh, same old same old. I just worked on catching up with my courses. It's been hard transitioning to a new school. But I think I'm all caught up now."

She nods. "That's good. Oh my god, speaking of school, have you seen Mr.Green's new haircut? It looks like a 4-year-old did it for him."

"You know what, maybe a 4-year-old did it."

"Ah yes, a 4-year-old took scissors and cut around his head without giving him a scar."

"It's possible," I giggle. I look off in the distance at Jared and Hayden sitting on the steps to the front of our school.

"Hey!" Sarah screams happily.

She runs up to them, whispering in Hayden's ear. Hayden gave me a pissed-off look as he got up off the stairs and walked up to me. He looks at me. He was wearing a green T-shirt the same colour as my backpack. His hair falls into his face as he walks away. Sarah stops him, pushing him towards me. He sighs again.

"I'm sorry I was a dick to you," he said. It sounded meaningless and forced.

I smile. "I'm not accepting your meaningless apology."

I saw his eyebrows raise. "You know what? Fuck you," he looks at Sarah. "And you," he walks away.

"You messed it up! I wanted you two to get off on a good foot."

I walk up the stairs. "Why does it matter anyway?"

"Well, then when you're hanging out with us, you and Hayden don't have to be all grumpy and rude to each other."

"I'm sure he'll come around," I say.

"Um, Hayden. No. Hayden barely even likes us let alone someone else."