"You were a song. I listened to you and instantly knew that you'd be my favourite."
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He fell first, she fell harder.
Once he knew that she fell too, he fell hardest.
A story of Korea's most famous K-po...
I bite my lips while the makeup artist fixes my makeup. "Jimin-ssi, please don't do that. I just applied lip balm." She says and I nervously smile at her through the mirror.
I exhale deeply and look at my reflection in the mirror. After three months, finally I have a long scene with Y/n and I hope I can give the best impression on her. She clearly doesn't remember me because the few times I have exchanged glances with her at the set, she just smiles.
I thought about it a lot. My feelings for her are still the same. Probably, my feelings are getting even stronger since I'm more mature now. She still affects me with a single glance. And I feel really nervous around her.
The drama will start airing next month. And I am more worried about my scene with Y/n rather than the ratings of the drama.
A month ago, I had a small scene with her. We never exchanged dialogues but she was standing close to me and I had to take so many retakes because I was not able to focus for fifteen minutes about the scene.
I keep embarrassing myself in front of her. Ugh! Fuck my life!
"The shot is ready. You can come," Ryu says and I look at myself in the mirror before taking a long deep breath. I smile at my reflection and wink at it. "Don't be a baby and get shy today, Jimin-ah. Be a man!" I growl at myself and then turn around to look at Hobi giving me a weird stare.
"I'm nervous," I say and he chuckles. "Nothing new. You're always nervous." He says. I shake my head. "No, this is not that nervous. This is nervously nervous!" I mumble. His expressions turn even more sour and he passes me a look of displeasure.
"You're extra weird today," he comments. Because Y/n is here and I want to make an impression! We walk to the location, which is the meeting room of an office. Hobi fixes my suit and I watch Hyunjin and Y/n listening to the director.
The director looks up and smiles at me. The other two also look at me. Hyunjin bows but I am star struck by Y/n appearance beside the two men.
Her indigo vintage Dior dress that has an umbrella-shaped skirt and tapered waist to make her body look slender and svelte. The body-hugging cut matched with her crisp updo further plays up the retro charm. Her makeup is simple but she's already pretty so I don't think that she needs much makeup. She's so attractive. Her charm and charisma and everything is so alluring. She's . . . Mine!
I shake my thoughts and smile at her. She is giving me a small smile. Still introverted. "Have you gone through the script?" The director questions and Y/n diverts her gaze back to him. And I roll my eyes internally, at the director's action to take her attention away from me. But I need to be professional.
"I did. Let's go ahead," I say, eyeing Y/n to walk to her but Hyunjin beats me to it, standing beside her and I clench my jaws but maintain my composure. Be professional, Jimin.
"Stand here, Jimin," the director instructs and I decide to be serious. I get into character and watch Hyunjin smile at me. I smile back and get ready for the shot. Y/n walks away with the director, out of the meeting room since she'll enter later.
I watch her walking away and once the door closes the director stands behind the camera and the slate guy comes and indicates to start the scene. "I can't believe that you just cancelled the deal without even asking for an explanation!" Hyunjin exclaims, getting into his character and I roll my eyes, reading the file in my hands without paying attention to him.
"WooTak, why did you do that? You know the loss we would encounter?" Hyunjin says and I close the file in my hands and stand up from my seat before looking at him coldly. "He harassed my girlfriend. You think I will continue business with him?" I say and his eyes widen.
"He did what?" Hyunjin gasps dramatically and the door swings open. "Joo WooTak is right. Kim Jun harassed Do Haeyi. I have proof." Y/n says while motioning her phone in her hand and giving us a blank stare.
I squint my eyes and look at her, focusing on acting and hiding my inner feelings while watching her. "You do?" I ask and she makes eye contact with me.
"Cut! Jimin! Your eyes are shaking!" The director yells and I sigh.
I can't do this!
I take a deep breath, sitting my eyes and open them to see Y/n smiling at me softly. "Let's continue from Y/n's dialogue!" The director says and we nod collectively.
Y/n steps back and raises her hand to motion the phone and I clench my hands, vowing to myself to be perfect in this second take.
"It's been 13 takes, Jimin! Take a break. You seem disturbed today," the director says and I bite my lips, looking down and apologising to him and the crew. I bow to Hyunjin and Y/n and walk out of the room, to the bathroom. I get inside and take a deep breath, trying to calm down my anger but walking forth to the sink.
My breathing becomes unsteady and I look up at the mirror to notice my pupils shaking. My fingers tremble and so does my lips. I look down at my hands and clench them today but watch as my whole body shivers.
Anxiety attacks.
I grip the sink counter tightly but the bathroom door opens and Hobi enters it, his eyes widening. As he stares into my burning red eyes. "Jimin," he says, knowing about my condition well enough and quickly comes to hug me. I bury my face in the crook of his neck, taking sharp breaths and he wraps his arms around me, patting my back reassuringly.
"Don't be nervous. It's fine. It's alright. Take deep breaths," he says and taps my head as I try to compose myself but feel tears escaping my eyes unknowingly. I sob in his embrace but he tightens his grip around me. "I'm embarrassed of myself. I messed up." I whisper but Hobi rubs my back.
"It's no big deal. It's fine," he says.
Others could say that it's not a big deal, but that one thing makes me feel guilty. And I get stressed out because of that one thing.
I move my hands in his embrace and push my hair backwards and bury my face in my hands and taking deep breaths,
"If I keep making mistakes, it'll be so hard for me to bear it."
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The fact that these dialogues are what Jimin actually said during their documentary is what makes it even sadder of how he thinks about himself not knowing how perfect he actually is.
