The Look Of Love

Chapter 1

The blaring of my alarm clock was the first thing i heard on the 19th of February 2014. With the routinely habit of ignoring said alarm, i hit snooze and rolled over. Yanking the covers over my head, desperate to shield my body from the chilly winter breeze flowing in through my slightly opened window, and desperate to shield my eyes, from the bright rays of sun illuminating my room through the large gaps in my curtains. 

I had just began to drift off into a comfortable sleep once again when my duvet was suddenly yanked off of my body. The first thing that hit me was the frozen air surrounding me and i made a mental note to make sure to close all of my windows before sleeping. 

And to not wear bed shorts and a tank top to bed during late winter.

 And to buy some new curtains. 

Anyway,

After grumbling profanities to myself and vigorously rubbing my eyes i looked up to find Finn staring down at me with my bed covers bunched in his right had and two cups of tea balanced in the left. 

"You look like shit" he exclaimed, before nodding towards one of the mugs in his hand. "Right, thanks" i replied in no sort of way, as i was unsure wether i was sincerely thanking him for the tea, or sarcastically thanking him for marching his way into my house, 'politely' waking me up, and insulting me as a way of a greeting. 

Probably the latter. 

What happened to hello? Good morning, even? No? 

Ok Finn. O.K.

I pulled myself up from my bed, took one of the cups from his hand, and slugged my way over to my desk chair in the corner of the room. After practically falling on it, i placed the cup on one of my band coasters i got from Greenwich market, pushed my fluffy socked-covered feet across my floor, and spun the chair round to face Finn with as much of an evil glare as i could muster for 8 in the morning. 

For some reason, my muscles struggle to function first thing in the morning, so even making obvious facial expressions is challenging. But that's fair enough, i mean, doesn't smiling take like 40 odd muscles? Thats a lot of muscles. And a lot. of. effort. Which i don't have much of after being violently woken up and insulted. 

"What's up Finn?" i asked as i took a gulp of my tea.  "I come baring news. And tea" Finn said in the posh accent he always switches too. "Which is?" "You need to pick a song RIGHT NOW. We've had all this time and all these questions from people and the event organisers and we've given them nothing. All because you couldn't sit down for 2 MINUTES and pick a stupid song, so please, for the love of my hamster Susie, will you PLEASE pick one. Preferably BEFORE we are on stage. Please. Thank you" 

He concluded his out burst with a tired sigh before staring down at my duvet now tangled in his hand after all the exaggerated gestures he had made. 

That's what happens when pet no.1, Susie the hamster, is mentioned. 

He gets very passionate. 

And serious.

"I get your stressed but no need to take it out on my duvet, jesus" i say as i lean forward and tug it from his grasp, laying it over myself before replying to his speech. "Yeah sorry, i don't know, i guess it just slipped my mind, i'll write it down now, any requests?"

The truth was i hadn't forgotten, i just hated writing setlists no matter the size or occasion, so i had put it off everyday since hearing the news of our nominations and scheduled performance. Seeing that this was for the brit awards, our first award show, in front of countless successful musicians and watched by thousands of people, my anxiety on the topic was through the roof and i knew that as soon as i wrote a song down, i would never stop crossing it out and picking a different one. It was also even harder because it was only 1 song. 1 song to make an impression of some of the most respected people in the music industry. 

All i can say is thank god i wasn't asked to do a solo performance. 

"oh yeah um Everlong, please, thats always a fun one." "Sure,done." I grab some paper and a pen from my desk drawer before scribbling it down, giving myself no time to analyse the song and change my mind. I also added two more incase we changed our minds later on. "What other ones did you go for?" "Um, i think i'm gonna choose Nothing Else Matters and uh. Only Angel-"

"-PERFECT." He interrupted (before i could change my mind once again). "Thanks, can you write a few copies so i can give them to the guys to practise for tonight? We aren't gonna be doing a soundcheck there because of all the other people performing." "Oh yeah sure" I quickly scribbled the 3 songs down on 3 more pieces of paper before handing them to him.

I'm not sure when or why i became the one to decide what songs we had to play all the time. I think it's just because i wrote them. Every time i ask one of the boys to decide they seem to hate the idea as much as i do. But someone has to do it i guess. 

 "Cheers. You all ready for tonight? You know with your outfit and all?." He said as he started down the corridor towards my kitchen. "Yeah i think so. Are you? D'You still need help with your tie?" I called out to him mockingly, referencing his school ties which i had to redo every morning, as he approached the door. He chuckled before throwing his cup in the sink and calling out a 'see you tonight' and a 'fuck off' before the slamming of my front door echoed throughout my apartment. 

Such kind words. 

.........................

I downed the rest of my tea before reaching forward and grabbing my acoustic guitar off its stand. I reached inside one of my drawers for a pick, a lighter and a pack of cigarettes; after grabbing one and successfully lighting it ,despite the breeze that was strong enough to blow my hair over my eyes, i placed it between my lips and began to play the opening chords to a band and fan favourite. Everlong.