our world is fast paced. no one could argue on that, no one wants to argue on that- because most people's pace is fast.
some people think they don't fit our worlds pace- in reality, most of those people are just facing challenge for the first time, or they just don't know how to make the decision that's right for them. most people were just never slowed down.
our world isn't meant for people whose pace is slow, and when suddenly you go from being fast paced to slow paced- you just then realise it.
they always considered her a fast paced person. she thought fast and responded fast, she always got up the moment she was told to, she never procrastinated anything school related and always stayed on the top of her class.
they always praised her for being so fast- so smart, so talented, so gifted. having constantly being told that by everyone she knows, she had set high standards for herself at a very young age- to please other people's expectations.
it didn't take her a lot to lose all that.
all of her achievements seemed meaningless now. everything that has been said to her, everything that she has done to get to this point-
it all seemed to have lost all value.
she didn't know exactly why she felt this way- she knew comparing her past self to her current self would only cause her harm, yet she couldn't help but feel useless.
losing her thinking abilities changed her relationships with the environment in many ways.
when she was asked a question, it took her a some time to process what has been asked, and even a longer time coming up with an answer. she felt bad for the person in front of her, yet there was nothing she could to- nothing would have changed.
lessons felt like watching a news program in a foreign language.
she could catch a few words here and there, and sometimes there were pictures, so she knew the topic in general. but when it came to understanding the subjects she had no control over her brain, and no way of learning without bursting into tears. her mind didn't let her understand, or process, or even speak properly.
she was held back from thinking.
at times she would forget what she lost- she didn't remember that her own mind was restricting her, not knowing what it limited her to. she would think she was still her old self-
and then it all came back to her.
every time she remembered it was like her world has been shattered for the first time again. when she remembered, it broke her, and it will continue to break her.
she was frustrated with her own mind.
she was no longer fast paced.
there were reasons, of course- for her sudden loss of her 'gifted child' abilities- of her normal thinking process, she knew that. the world around her knew that.
yet the reasons were just not good enough for anyone. and no one wanted to hear her call for help.
the 'side effects' of feeling good, a 'temporary bump on the road', 'being just a little slow wouldn't bother you, right?
at least it makes you feel better!'
'the medication helps and that's what matters'-
she was tired of hearing the same sentences again and again and again.
the reasons existed, the world just refused to acknowledge them.
but there was nothing she could to about it, not now.
because that's the price of being slow.
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miko waves! (^ _ ^)/
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hello everyone! how are you?
first part of this to be republished
not my best yet, but I'm getting better and better:)
