Features || Junhan

57

"Not mine!" I sing out while strumming the guitar, looking around to the crowd in front of me.

We were now on an Inkigayo stage and Xdinary Heroes have already done their debut stage in their clown outfits.

Celestial did go to their dressing room earlier to meet with them before their stage and to also calm some members down as they were extremely nervous. It was going to be their first preformance as a band either way, so there were a lot of reasons to be nervous.

They preformed their song, Happy Death Day, perfectly. They played their parts on time, stayed on beat, and sang beautifully. There were no flaws to be seen.

I was now on stage with Celestial preforming 'Not Mine'. This will be the only stage I'll be doing, because after today I'm going to officially be on a hiatus for who knows how long. And in 3 days I'll also be going to the States with my mom and younger brother for my transplant. The girls will be staying back.

"My one minute, one second. Take them all. All of my time is yours." I continue sining while strumming my guitar, playing the best I can since this could probably be the last time I'll be playing. "Why? Why have you changed? Why are so so far away from me? Now we are at different paths." We then start the instrumental, the girls doing the backing vocals. We then end the song, confetti then coming down to us from above.

I smile weakly as I look at our fans with small tears in my eyes. I wipe them with the back of my hand, then jumping slightly as I feel arms wrap around me. It was the girls. They had left their places and instruments behind as they all came up to me, hugging me tightly. That's when some of them started crying, but also kind of covering their faces to protect their idol image.

I let out a weak laugh as they break the hug, I swing my guitar to my back as I go up to the mic again, letting out a sigh.

"Wow.." I say, waving at a few fans at the front. "Thank you for watching, what could be, my last stage before my hiatus. For those of you who know me, hello. And for those of you who don't, hi, my name is Han Nari but I'm also known as Celestial's lead electric guitarist, composer and producer, JJ."

I then bow 90 degrees, then lifting my head up again and going back up to the mic.
"We had just preformed a song I had just written called 'Not Mine', and it's based off of a personal story of mine which did happen quite recently. I chose to make that song my last song to play as I wrote it for someone special to me. We have quite similar likings which did kind of bring us closer one day, but we did have a few small fights here and there. Then during one of our small fights, he confessed to me. I was.. star struck. I didn't expect for him to later on make me fall for him. How did I know I fell for him? Everytime we spent some time together, either a line or paragraph of the lyrics you had just heard came to mind."

I then notice in the corner of my eye that 6 clowns had appeared backstage and was looking at me give the speech staff members at Inkigayo let me say as it was going to be my last stage. I give them a small smile as I turn back to the crowd, looking down to the ground as I frown a bit.

"A few years ago, I was diagnosed with Coronary Heart disease which was inherited through genetics. There is no medication that can help my case, but there is a transplant that can help me. I will be going to the States soon to attend the transplant, and hopefully come back to Korea where I can be on stage again with my band members, playing the guitar and preforming on stage again as if I never had the heart disease. Once I come back I'll hope that I'll still be able to produce and compose music for both groups, Celestial and Xdinary Heroes." I then turn to the boys again, smiling widely as I then grab the mic off the stand, bowing to them. "Thank you for working well with me."

They bow back with a smiles on their faces, some even having small tears descend from their faces. I put the microphone back on the stand as I let out a shaky breath due to me crying a bit.

"While I'm gone, please good care of Celestial and support Xdinary Heroes in their new idol life." I then bow at the crowd, letting the tears fully fall down. "Thank you, Stars!"

Yuki then gathers us all in another group hug, us comforting each other as we all cried, some fans even crying as they waved around their cresent moon shaped lightstick and cheering for us. Yuki then grabs the mic from the stand while looking at the crowd in tears.

"For our fans in the States, please look after our Nari." She says weakly, not even being able to fully pronounce her sentence due to her uneven breathing.

Meanwhile, Dasom and Nabi were both attached to me like they were glued on, bawling their eyes out as they also got my shirt wet.

We all then form a line and holding each others hands, putting them in the air as we then bow, thanking the crowd. We got a louder cheer as we left the stage and going backstage, some staff crying.

We go further down a short hall and push open a metal door, us then heading down another hall but was stopped once we saw Xdinary Heroes.

"Why didn't you tell us?!" Jooyeon cries out, wiping his tears as he looked at me with a frown. I let out a small laugh as I open my arms wide, him immediantly running to me and hugging me tightly. "If you told us about your heart, then we wouldn't have been hard to train."

"Well, we actually knew." Gunil says as he gestures to himself, Junhan and Gaon. "We didn't tell you guys because it isn't our place to tell yous."

"Thanks for working with us, Nari." Jungsu says with small tears falling from his eyes, giving me a side hug since Jooyeon wouldn't move away from me.

"I really hope the transplant goes well and you come back safely." Seungmin smiles as he pulls Jooyeon off of me before giving me a small hug, then going into a corner with Jungsu as they both comfort Jooyeon who was bawling his eyes out.

Jiseok then breaks down as well, turning to Gunil and hugging him tightly, which left Junhan alone.

He was looking at me with a soft gaze, biting his lower lip and fisting his hands as his lips then began to quiver and he began to shake a bit.
"Junnie.." I softly call out, leaving Aera's side and going to Junhan, wrapping my arms around his figure, him then doing the same.

"Nari.." He says with a shakey breath, "Please come back safe and well, if you do then I'll take you out again and we'll do all of your favourite things. I promise I won't call you a cheater again and I won't pour my bubbles down the drain. I won't spend all of my money on a crane game again. Just please, come back alive and well. That's the only thing I ask for."

I let out a small laugh as I ruffle his curly orange hair up before breaking the hug and patting his shoulder, then walking back to the girls who were still crying.

I then wave at the boys as Celestial and I walk back to our dressing room.
"I'll see you guys when I come back from the States."