I tremble as I walk the streets in the cold air, exhausted from running. I'm down my street, hugging myself in my sweater.I reach out for the doorknob, hearing the click as it opens, walking in and locking it behind me. I start to trudge to my room, but fall to my knees in front of the door, breaking into tears.
I hold my face in my hands and cry, mewling Toby's name weakly as I sob.
I cry until I can cry no more, think of Toby. How could he leave me like this without a word... I was so hurt..
It felt like I had been tripped and fell onto a million knives. It felt like someone had a firm grip on my heart, and they were squeezing tighter and tighter every second until my heart just exploded. I didn't know what to think of feel. All I could do was cry.
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I woke up the next morning in my bed. I get up, looking around, wondering how I got here. I hear the distant sound of the TV in the next room. I look out my window, the bright beautiful tree leaves of the woods almost protruding through the open windows. The outside looked to beautiful with my dark gray almost black walls. I stand up, stretching and putting on my slippers before going to the living room.
Jake is on the couch, laying down, head turned to watch the TV.
"Hey, Jake." I say upon entering the room.
"Hey, kiddo." He says, looking at me and sitting up with a smile. "Just wondering, why were you asleep at the doorstep at 4 a.m. this morning?" Jake asks.
"Uh... I must have... sleepwalked?"
"I've known you for 2 years kid, and I have never known you to sleepwalk. Stop sneaking out so late, kiddo. I don't want you to get hurt or taken away when you get caught because I'm 'Not fit for parenting'." Jake says, using air quotations dramatically.
"Sorry." I say with a sigh. "I just had to go see Toby..." I almost cry just saying his name.
"Oh, how is he by the way?"
I don't answer.
"(Y/N)?" Jake looks at me, and I lose it, breaking that easily.
I sob, being pulled into a hug by Jake. He rubs my back to comfort me.
"H-he left.." I sniffle, in between sobs.
"What? You mean he dumped you? That little sh-"
"No.. I mean he left town... I don't know where he went... and I miss h-him so much..." I cry louder, squeezing Jake as I cry into his chest.
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I have Writers' block. And depression. Sorry. It's also 2 a.m. here, so I'm half asleep writing this. So I'll update some other time.
Later.
- Madi.