home (is wherever i'm with you)

ONE

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. 

IT had been six months since the shooting, and Lexie still couldn't sleep.

Lexie Grey knew a lot of things; she knew that what they went to was classified as a mass murder, she knew that she'd had to spend time in the psych ward at SGMW because of it, and she knew that she'd been in therapy for it since it had happened.

So why in the world couldn't she sleep?

She rolled from her side onto her back and rubbed at her eyes. She wasn't used to this. Being a surgical resident, she always slept when and where she could. But now, even when she had the chance she couldn't sleep. Lexie had always been a bit of a night owl, but this was taking it to a whole new level.

The glowing blue numbers on the alarm clock beside her bed told her it was 2:38am. Damn it all, she had four hours before she needed to get up and hadn't slept a wink. Was there any point lying in this bed, trying to calm her mind anymore?

The hard wood of the attic floor was cold underfoot as she padded towards the stairs. There wasn't enough room in the house for everyone to get their own bedroom anymore - and Meredith had asked that she live in the attic after Jackson and April needed to move in, having lost their friend in the shooting.

It was lonely, and cold, and a little scary being up there. For the first few weeks after the shooting Lexie had been terrified, seeing the outline of Gary Clark with his gun pointed at her out the corner of her eye. It had gotten better over time, but Lexie would really love for one of the others to move out so she could sleep in a heated room. Hell, she'd even take sleeping on the floor in the living room at this point.

Lexie yawned and curled her arms over her chest as she walked softly down the stairs, skipping the one that creaks half way to the bottom. Everyone would be asleep by now, even Meredith and Derek, who'd been up bickering for hours over something. She fully expected to just go downstairs to the pitch black, maybe make herself a cup of tea.

What Lexie doesn't expect, when passing through the hall, is to see a glowing light flickering from the archway into the living room. She pauses, interested, but all she can hear is a low hum of voices that are impossible to make out.

When Lexie rounds the corner, she sees a familiar head of auburn hair propped sideways against an arm of the couch. The TV is on, but the volume is low, and Lexie can see that it's one of her favourite shows, Friends. Surprisingly, it isn't just late night TV, her own box set is sitting on the cabinet, and the dvd case for the second season is open and empty on the coffee table.

It's strange, she didn't think anyone would be awake at this hour, let alone always-energetic-sunshiny April Kepner. Lexie's position in the shadow of the doorway allows her to see April's face when the other girl can't see her. April's brows are pulled tight and low over her eyes, and for once there's no sunshine in them. Her hands are clenching and unclenching in her lap seemingly subconsciously, and she's clearly not paying attention to the TV.

The moment feels private, personal, and Lexie knows she should turn back around and go straight back to bed. She can't, her feet are glued to the floor, watching as April's face suddenly un-scrunches and she shakes her hair out of her face. Wait... Are those tears in her eyes? Lexie can't make out the colour in the low light, but they're shining more than usual.

Alright Lexie, time to leave. But no, she can't, or she doesn't want to. This whole situation is completely unprecedented, she has never seen April look so sad and defeated. If you looked up the word 'sunshine' in the dictionary you'd see a picture of April Kepner. Lexie's heart clenches, and she feels the need to speak.

"Couldn't sleep either?" She asks, moving out of the shadow and into the light.

April doesn't even startle, she just turns her head up to look at Lexie. "Something like that."

Her voice sounds broken, detached, and oh, Lexie has no idea what to do with that.

She doesn't get the chance to say a word, as April draws her knees to her chest and then gestures to the empty space at her feet, "Sit with me?"

What is Lexie supposed to do? Not sit? She pads across the floorboards and around the side, then sits down and turns so her body is facing April, mirroring her position. For a few moments, neither of them say a word, they just sit there in comfortable silence while the sounds of Monica and Richard being found out by the Gellers plays from the TV.

April doesn't seem like she wants to say anything, she just rests her chin on her knees and looks at the TV. Lexie doesn't really know what to do, so she does the same while she figures out how to proceed. This should be simple, really, but for some reason this specific moment feels vitally important - make or break.

"I didn't know you liked Friends," Is what Lexie settles on, not a demand for conversation, but an opening, an invitation.

April chuckles, giving Lexie a fleeting view of her perfect pearly teeth. Her smile is actually really pretty, a little crooked to one side. April pushes a lock of auburn hair out of her face and nods, "I don't really watch it in front of people. I share everything in my life with other people, this... It's just for me."

Lexie nods, understanding. As surgeons, they gave up their whole lives, all their free time, for other people. Sometimes you needed something only for you.

"I..." Lexie trails, clears her throat, and tries again, "I'm sorry... About your friend."

The look in April's eyes as she meets Lexie's is surprised, then it melts into warmth. She smiles, and Lexie's brain malfunctions, but she catches the last part of April's sentence, "-doing better, I miss him though. He was my first friend at Mercy West."

If she's being honest, Lexie has absolutely no idea what to say. Instead, she gently nudges April's foot with her own and reaches her hand forward to squeeze hers thats laying on the couch.

April's eyes may be shining when she looks up, but the familiar sunshine that inhabits her hazel irises is back. Lexie smiles back - like an actual full teeth smile, which she doesn't think she's done since before the shooting.

"Tea?" Lexie asks, breaking the silence.

"I'd love some."

junie speaks!

hey! its been a whiiiiileee

if you don't follow me on tiktok, then you won't know how much i love this ship, i've been told i'm the only lapril editor ever, which is pretty cool

i hope you guys enjoyed this, and are excited for more

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.