Things Of My Boredom

~ The Fight ~

Every day i face it feels like a constant fight with the darkness for some light to shine throughout my life walking my dark road the rain beating down on my soaking clothes i stand alone the one thing i've ever grown to know commonly i stand alone the only one who sees them who hears them the voices that haunt me that hate me and taunt me i feel like every night is a constant struggle to close my fuckin eyes wishing there was an end in sight a war inside my mind is all i can hear and one day i fear i'll lose all the megatives soon take hold i look into the mirror at my reflection deep into my eyes and my demons speak they tell me every day of the wretched weeks "i can see the hate buried in your heart and hear them when you speak" lost and bruised slowly becoming broken with the words unspoken my path is like hell itself a path only few dare to walk through the heart break and the daily hate making more foe than friend only to find out in the end that the enemies want what they see a life that seems perfect but behind the curtain they cant see that its only me i stand alone with only one hope that slowly fades by the day a hope i can no longer hold in my two beaten bruised hands with these bloody hands of mine i'll stop this beating heart and tear it apart toss it away and walk my walk my eyes are dark and my tongue turns black every time that i breathe, a demon in me a beast in the freak broken free from the leash finds a voice to speak. "Nightmares never sleep" ~ With that the war was lost and the boy was gone in his place stands a monster the beast he buried was now the freak he has become those who left him those who hurt him will soon cease to exist will soon exhale their last breath off their chest and leave the world behind but still to the day behind his eyes you can see hes riddled with pain beaten and broken and bloody and cold all he ever wanted was a home a place to feel safe instead of feeling alone though its true he never really belonged nobody to love him or notice hes gone with the bottle in his hand and the drugs in his veins he slowly begins to fade one last time you'll hear him say... "i just want to feel loved" repeating in your mind you hear the boy as he haunts you as he rips you apart walks all over you as you did to his heart now take the pieces take the parts rewind the time and find a new start beaten broken and cold you'll find the boy alone the pieces evident missing take him back take him in fix the cracks fix the holes hand his heart make him whole, remember these words as the boy fades away "i just want to feel love" think about them torture your mind lose your sleep and your sanity. because you know now... you failed him ~ hes dead. lay him down and let him rest in peace ~