BlackPink Imagines

🌧️Yellow ribbon: Jennie

** Trigger warnings: mentions of anxiety/depression, mentions of hopelessness, suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, self harm, self destruction, etc. Read at your own risk.

Subtle rumbles in the distant skies shook the walls. You sat upon your shared bed with Jennie as she was at the studio working on new music with the girls. She was hesitant upon doing so due to the worldwide pandemic, but she was anxious to give her fans more music. It had been a long while since she was back in the studio, but you hadn't minded it. You admired to see her do what she loves most in the world. 

Being home alone for the most part, you had found yourself getting lost within your own thoughts. It wasn't the isolation which had gotten to you. It was your own mentality that caused you to fumble. You hadn't clued Jennie in on your mental well-being due to the fact that you did not want to become a burden to her. You feared the thought of attending therapy and expressing your vulnerability to a complete stranger. 

The sounds within your mind caused the walls of your skull to shake. Attempting to hush the noise, you took your middle finger and thumb, rubbing your temples in circular motions while your eyes fluttered shut. Fighting against the noise only made it louder. You sat against the headboard, unable to do anything to silence your thoughts. 

Feeling your stomach churn, you let out a soft groan. The emotional pain slowly becomes physical. Your mind dazed as the warm color of your irises scanned the room, unsure where to look. The detonations of thunder and the strikes of lightning unfazed you, for the noise within your head was much louder. 

Gently moving your legs off the bed to dangle inches from the carpet flooring, you stretched your arm to reach for your phone which sat upon your bedside table. Once your fingertips wrapped around the phone, you pulled it close and unlocked it. Shaken, you tapped on Jennie's contact and clicked the call icon. Bringing it up to your ear, you chewed on the inside of your cheek as you awaited her answer. 

It rang three times before Jennie answered, "Y/N, babygirl, are you okay?" Her tone was soft and you wished it would help silence the echoes within your mind, but it was no use. You slouched your back as you sat against the edge of the bed, hopelessness filling your veins. 

"I-I.." You softly spoke, unable to produce words. 

"What's the matter, angel? Do you need me to come home?" Jennie's tone lowered an octave. It sounded as though a door closed on the other line, signifying that she escaped whatever room she was in. 

"I can't breathe," You whimpered, straightening your posture as you took your free hand and tugged at your chapped bottom lip. 

"Y/N, stay there. Don't move, I'm coming home," Her voice was stern, yet calm. 

You yearned to follow her command, but couldn't help yourself and shakily pushed yourself off the bed. She must've heard you upon the other line because it now sounded as though she was rushing out of the studio. You kept her on the line as she kept you on the line. 

Taking your weak limbs, you walked towards the bathroom of you and Jennie's bedroom. You kept the phone close to your ear as you listened to Jennie fumbling to get into her car. 

"Wait for me, please, don't move," Jennie spoke as she started her car, the rumbles and rainfall were heard on her end. "Angel, do not move," She whispered, her voice breaking. 

You couldn't respond to her with words, for your mind was far too hazed to do so. You entered the bathroom and placed your phone against the countertop. The call was still going as you gazed into the mirror, your stomach churned at the site of yourself. 

You don't deserve anything. Echoed a strong voice within your head. You clenched your jaw and opened the medicine cabinet. Your warm eyes laid upon a white bottle in the back of the cabinet; painkillers. You reached into the back and let your fingers wrap around the bottle. Lifting it slightly, you shook the plastic to test the amount inside. Nodding softly, you pulled it out and placed it onto the countertop. 

Unable to process the sound of the opening front door of you and Jennie's home, you struggled to open the bottle. Your body was far too weak to open it, you winced when you felt your hands growing red. 

"Y/N!" Her New Zealand accent bounced against the walls of your and Jennie's home. The footsteps grew louder as she hurried up the steps, supporting her body by holding onto the railing. 

"Please.. open," You whimpered, gritting your teeth together. Your knuckles transformed into a shade lighter than your skin tone, as your grip upon the bottle's cap tightened.  Once you had gotten the cap off, your fingers fumbled when the bedroom door was pulled open. Frightened at the sound of her footsteps, you dropped the bottle of pills. Jennie's lanky legs rushed towards you as she found your body sinking to the tiled flooring, heavy cries and gasps for air leaving your lips. 

"Y/N, baby.." Jennie's voice sounded as though it was breaking. She knelt down before you and took your body into her arms, your face buried into her shoulder. She could sense the weakness in your body as your cries became heavier. 

She hushed you softly, taking her fingers and rubbing them up and down back. "It's okay, I'm here. You're safe," Jennie whispered into your ear, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. "I love you," She spoke softly, pulling you closer. You released a heavy breath before snaking your arms around her torso, holding onto her for dear life. 

As she held you, she swayed your body from left to right as a way to calm you. It was as if you were a child and she was cradling you. Whispering sweet nothings into your ear, she held you for what felt like hours. You were safe in her embrace. 

~~~

Wrapped in a soft blanket before the crackling fireplace, you watched the flames with a soft gaze. The orange and red colors of the fire reflected onto your skin, brightening your complexion. 

"Here, baby," Jennie whispered as she came up from behind you, handing you a mug filled with peppermint tea with two scoops of honey; the way you liked it. 

"Thank you," You shakily took the mug into your hands and held it into your lap. Your knees were brought up to your chest as you sat before the fire, your eyes continuing to stare into the flames. 

Beside you, the couch dipped as Jennie's weight was pressed against the cushion. She moved closer to you, her shoulder nudging with yours as she watched your profile. "Are you feeling better?" Jennie whispered softly, her fingers tracing the handle of her own mug of tea. 

You nodded slowly, tranquility filling your veins as Jennie sat beside you. Turning your head, you stared at her softly, watching her with a glisten in your eyes. 

"We should set you up to speak with someone, don't you think, darling?" Jennie asked softly, leaning closer to press a warm kiss to your cheek. You closed your eyes slowly at her action and nodded against her lingering lips. 

"I'm sorry, Jennie," You finally spoke, your voice scratched like that of a broken record.  "What are you sorry for?" Jennie furrowed her brow. Your eyes glanced down at your mug of tea, feeling embarrassed for speaking your word. 

Her finger shaped into a hook as he turned your chin to look up at you. Butterflies overwhelmed your stomach as you gazed into her eyes. "This is a process, darling. We're going to get you better, I promise," Jennie's breath fanned against your chapped lips as she stared at your warm face. You nodded slowly in response to her words, feeling ease in your chest. 

"You saved me," You whispered, your voice gentle and warm like honey seeping out between your lips. 

"No, my love," Jennie whispered, brushing her nose against your cheek, "You saved me."

1378 Words