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Hello Author! Out of every single story I have read so far yours has been the best and most well thought out with the most research into history. I have thoroughly enjoyed the ten chapters I've read of a decent length and will try and read the rest of your book in the future, but without further ado, I will post my review!
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What I liked:
I love that it's a period piece, historical fiction if you may, and decently researched regarding ancient Egypt and the way they prepare the pharaoh for after death. The way you used a real pharaoh (Djer) and his want to have many slaves follow him to the afterlife was super interesting in the first chapter.
I think it is cool how the Goddess Isis appears in person in front of them after Panya prays to her, I was not expecting a summoning.
I love the strength of Panya, she wants to never leave someone behind and believes in good in everyone, hence "there are no lost causes."
It's interesting that you included a Confederate soldier in this and the time period in the 1800s and the culture, for example "no self respecting soldier would marry a tavern wench," And of course the fact that 'every woman would need a man's wisdom to guide them.'
I respect Jonathan's kindness towards, and love for women but not disdain for slaves, although it was the culture in the past but it was becoming more frowned upon. I think he is the girls champion. In the future chapters he remedies this view point.
I like the way you highlighted that in war in the past they would just throw as many people as possible towards another army despite having less people and the same weapons.
I think Alyxx is funny, and has a cool vibe to her. She is literally the depiction of a groovy cat.
I like that there are multiple main characters! That's super cool! 😁 Not to mention an ensemble cast!
I like that Panya couldn't understand the English language "magically"." Like some people would basically do in their stories. But you did change that later, and I suppose this is the acception because the god of knowledge basically put the information in her head...
The story is really funny like a situational comedy, everyone keeps getting involved in things they don't have a choice about.
Spoiler for readers: I love the use of all the gods and goddesses of Egypt and your connecting them to the main characters by foreshadowing (well in Panya she met Isis early on, not obvious foreshadowing but yeah)
Disliked/constructive criticism/ pointers
It is not very often but there are some sentence fragments. You just need to comb over some of your story and it'll be golden, literally. Lol.
I think your synopsis needs to be more vague, it gives away a lot of the intriguing parts of the story in the first few chapters. I want you to keep it a surprise. I think it does make people want to read it but there's got to be a better way because you're basically spoiling the first few chapters.
Pointer:
Try to pad out your story by giving actual descriptions of what the characters look like, it'll help your audience imagine them, and I noticed that you did rbat with a few characters but not all of them, especially not the main three.
Pointer: instead of separating your stories (books one and two) you should have had them together so you can gain traction better because of the consistent chapter updates.
Pointer
After chapter seven you should put a full on character guide because there are just so many characters it's just really really hard to keep track. In a real book you could have that in the back or front somewhere about descriptions of the gods.
In conclusion:
I don't really have much to say about improvements in the story, you are a very refined writer because of your obvious experience. I just would like you to describe your characters better earlier in the story so I am not just reading names and being confused on who is who. I think for the most part they are explained but you could add more description of what they look like and their nationality like you did do for some of them!
