Hollow

Ch.7 Tea For One

*****TW: This chapter contains topics such as street harassment, anxiety, and social pressure*****

Sat. 7/22

Rubi's phone rings four times before she picks it up.

"Hello?" -Rubi

"Hello? Rubi?" -Quinn

"Yeah, what is it?" -Rubi

"Rubi, I hate it here." -Quinn

Quinn's parents are making her work on Saturday now. They think Rubi is a distraction for her.

"That's horrible." -Rubi

"I know! Can you believe that? It's so stupid, but two can play that game. I'm gonna demand they actually pay me instead of just having somewhere to live. The second I save up enough to get my own place, you bet my ass is leaving at the speed of light! I'm so sick of this." -Quinn

"Gosh. That's really shitty, Quinn. I'm so sorry." -Rubi

"Nah, it's fine. I just felt the need to rant about that. We can't hang out today though. Maybe next weekend I can find a way to get out of it." -Quinn

"That's okay. I have some errands today anyway." -Rubi

"Alright. I guess I'll see you soon then. Hopefully." -Quinn

"Yeah. If you need anything, just let me know, okay?" -Rubi

"I'm okay, but thank you." -Quinn

"Of course." -Rubi

They end the call. Rubi looks in the mirror and feels like a fool. She woke up extra early to flat-iron her sundress and do her hair special. She thought she would be seeing Quinn today.

"Who was that?" -Kai (Rubi's sibling)

"Quinn. She's a friend." -Rubi

"Is that the one you go to the river with?" -Kai

"Yeah. She has to stay home today though." -Rubi

"She's cool." -Kai

Quinn is indeed very cool. This second opinion makes Rubi happy.

"Kai? Do you think- do you think we're dating?" -Rubi

"Uh, no. Wait, are you?" -Kai

"No. I was just wondering if that's what it- you know, looks like." -Rubi

Kai smiles as they pull a bath towel from the hallway closet.

"Well, do you want to date her?" -Kai

Rubi has no idea how to respond to this. Quinn is her best friend.

"I don't know. I think we're just friends." -Rubi

"Ah, I was just asking. I'm going to brunch today with Zach and Olivia. You wanna come?" -Kai

" It's alright. I have to pick up my birth control at the pharmacy. " -Rubi

That is a lie. Rubi already picked up her prescription. She wants to be left alone today.

Rubi's too restless, though to stay home, so she takes a walk around town. She doesn't want to go to the river. She doesn't want to think about it.

She walks by a boutique and decides to go in even though she can't afford anything there. The door makes a chime sound when she walks in.

"Is there anything in particular you're looking for?" -Store Worker

"I'm just looking around. Thank you." -Rubi

Rubi finds a really pretty skirt with lace and lily designs on it. She finds her size and goes to the dressing room to try it on. It doesn't really fit. It's her size, but she doesn't like the way her body looks in it.

She really likes it so this makes her sad. She leaves and goes to a thrift store instead, but nothing catches her eye.

She goes to a nearby park and sits on a bench to watch the birds, but they all huddle around a couple at a picnic table who are eating sandwiches. It's lunchtime, but Rubi feels a bit too sick to eat a meal. She decides to go to get boba as a light treat.

"Welcome back! Two medium honey-lavender milk teas with tapioca?" -Cafe worker

"Just one today, please." -Rubi

"Is your friend waiting outside?" -Cafe worker

"No, it's just me today." -Rubi

"Ah. Well, don't tell her you came here without her." -Cafe worker

"Wasn't planning on it." -Rubi

They laugh, and the worker gives Rubi her drink. She stabs a straw through the lid and sits outside to enjoy the nice day. It doesn't last very long, though.

A group of guys a couple tables down stare at her. Rubi gets up and pretends to be on a call. Her phone is in one hand while she grips her pepper spray in the other.

She ends up going to the river anyway. It's the only place she can find peace. She sits on the rocky ledge and pulls out her journal.

Entry 7/22

Nothing feels right today. Quinn called this morning, and her parents are making her work on the weekends now.

Kai doesn't think we're dating, but I get the funny feeling that they're lying. Maybe it's just anxiety, but I don't know. It doesn't matter what other people think, so I don't know why it's bothering me so much. That's the real problem.

It's not that I don't like Quinn. I just don't know if I like her that way. It's not that I don't like her that way either. That probably doesn't even make sense.

Everything was fine until last weekend. Her parents were real assholes and then we hugged for the first time. God. I sound like a 12 year old. We just hugged. I don't know why I'm getting all giddy over it.

Maybe because I haven't had a crush on someone in a while that if I do actually like Quinn, it's just shocking. I wonder if she's thinking about this too. I hope so. I feel really crazy and really alone right now.

I should really be shopping for dorm supplies. I leave for college in less than a month. I feel like all I did this summer was worry about college.

Every time I think about college, it just makes me sad. I'm not ready to meet more people I don't get along with but have to pretend like I do. I'm not ready to fail more exams but have to pretend like I know what I'm doing.

I'm tired of pretending like I'm excited for college every time mom and dad ask, too. I want to have more independence, and college is a step to get there, but I also don't really know what I'm doing.

I feel like everything I want to do isn't an option, and everything I should do is just what everyone else wants for me. I don't want it, though.

My 18th birthday was like the ending of all the things I loved. I always complained in high school, but looking back, I miss it. I didn't have many friends but I still miss it.

I have to go to Anna's graduation party this week. We're not really close anymore, but she invited me, so I feel obligated to go. I'm not looking forward to having to fake smile and force conversation but that's what you do at those kinds of events.

I'm tired of everyone. Sometimes, I wish I could just live on a secluded island. No one would ever bother me again, and I could just work on art. That would be the dream.

I start my period next week, too. Maybe that's why I feel all over the place. I'm sure everything is fine, though. I just have to ride out the waves right now. I just want to be okay.

Rubi closes her journal and heads home to take a long nap.