Hollow

Ch.8 Forever Stamp

*****TW: This chapter contains topics such as sexism, social pressure, and homophobia*****

Sat. 7/29

"Hello? Quinn?" -Rubi

"Hey, what's up?" -Quinn

"I don't know if I can make it today." -Rubi

"Is everything okay?" -Quinn

"My period is really kicking my ass. It hurts so bad." -Rubi

"Oh, I'm sorry. Can I get you something?" -Quinn

"No, it's fine. I'm just tired." -Rubi

"Well, get some rest then." -Quinn

"Sorry about this." -Rubi

"No, you're fine. We can meet next week." -Quinn

"Okay. I'll see you then." -Rubi

"See you." -Quinn

They end the call. These two have been out of luck these past couple of weeks.

Quinn even came up with an elaborate plan to get out of work so she could meet up with Rubi. She said she needed to pick up some things she left at school. In reality, Quinn never wants to set foot inside a school ever again.

Quinn waits for the front yard to be completely clear before leaving. She doesn't feel like answering questions today. She decides to drive to the river. Even if Rubi won't be there, it still feels right to go. It's a weekly ritual.

Quinn sits on a log when she gets there. A tree must have fallen down from how many storms there have been lately. She doesn't really know what she should do today. She doesn't really have anyone to hang out with. Rubi thinks Quinn has a lot of friends. Everyone seems to know Quinn, but she's only really close with Rubi.

Quinn has a lot of acquaintances, but she feels awkward reaching out to them all of sudden. She decides on just driving around town. She climbs the hill back to the sycamore trees and takes off on her scooter. She doesn't really know where she's driving to, but she's going there regardless.

Quinn takes the highway to speed up. She loves the highway because everyone goes too fast to care about her. She's simply just a molecule in the world.

She also hates the highway too because it's the perfect place to think about life. Everything else blurs out except herself. That's something she can never really escape from.

Quinn thinks about Rubi. She thinks about their hug. She hopes she's not growing codependent on Rubi. She doesn't want to go through that again.

Maybe it's a good thing Quinn's having time alone with herself. She still regrets taking Rubi to her house. She wonders if Rubi actually isn't unwell and is just making up excuses.

She wonders if Rubi doesn't like her anymore because of what happened. Quinn feels like a bad person now. She feels the need to try and redeem herself somehow. She would take all of Rubi's pain away if she could. Suddenly, her scooter starts to slow down.

"Shit. I thought I just refilled this." -Quinn

Luckily, a gas station is a few lights down. She has just enough fuel to make it.

It's too hot for an attendant to sit in the little cashier booth outside, so Quinn has to go inside the store to pay. That means she has to take off her helmet.

Quinn likes wearing a helmet and baggy clothes because no one can tell she's a girl when she goes driving. People always seem to act weird around girls on scooters.

She opens the glove box to put her switchblade in the pocket of her joggers in case someone messes with her.

She walks in and goes straight to the counter, avoiding making her presence known. They're not too crowded, though.

The guy in front of her is buying a pack of cigarettes. The group of teenagers in the back are getting slushies.

Quinn knows she shouldn't, but she feels insecure about not having a friend group. She feels like she's missing out on a big part of life because of it.

Quinn stands over by the postcard rack to look busy. She wonders why anyone would ever want a postcard from this part of town.

One of the postcards has a picture of a cartoonish beet holding a microphone, and it says, "Who Let The Beet Drop?"

This makes Quinn think of her aunt, who loves beets. Quinn only has one aunt. She always spoiled Quinn with many toys when she was younger.

"1 gallon on pump 5." -Quinn

"Is that all?" -Cashier

Quinn slides over the postcard on the counter. She pays, pumps gas, and is back on the road again. She knows where to go now.

It's about a 5 minute drive. She parks on the side of a dirt road next to an empty field. She rummages around the glove box for a pen. She finds one and tests it out on the corner of the postcard, but the ink is all dried up.

She finds the end of a no. 2 pencil all the way at the bottom of the compartment. It will have to do. Quinn walks into the field and steps over pieces of tile that haven't been cleaned up yet. She sits down on a clear patch of dirt and starts writing.

Dear Auntie Grace,

I know we don't talk anymore, but I saw this horrible postcard, and it made me think of you. You're welcome.

I'm writing this at our old home. I was in the area so I thought I would visit it. They still haven't cleaned it up, and the weeds are overgrown. I still think it's a good place to hang out, though.

It reminds me of when you used to visit, and we would play hide and seek here in the backyard.

How's downtown, by the way? You are probably busy with work, so you might not even read this.

I just graduated high school. I don't really know what I'm doing with my life.

I work on Grandpa's farm now, which kind of sucks but I don't know what else to do. I'm not going to college, so I guess I'll just save up until I can afford an apartment or something.

I really hate living with my parents. How did you live with my dad growing up? I bet that's why you escaped to the city. I understand why you don't talk to us anymore.

I hope I'm not bothering you. I was supposed to hang out with a friend today, but she has bad period cramps.

Her name is Rubi. She's really smart and pretty. I bet you would like her.

She's leaving for college soon. She's the only person who makes me feel like everything is going to be okay.

I think I actually love her, but I could never tell her that. Have you ever had feelings for another girl? Dad says it's a sin. I don't believe that's true.

Anyways, I don't know. Maybe I just think she's a really cool friend. I hope this isn't too weird to talk about.

I'm running out of room to write, but I hope you are doing well. I swear you are the only sane person in this family.

Your favorite niece (your only niece),
Quinn

Quinn goes over her writing and realizes all her sentences are slanted. She never liked her penmanship. She thinks it looks ugly, but it will get the message across.

Quinn drives back to town and to the post office. She buys a forever stamp and sticks it onto the right corner of the postcard. She double-checks the address before sliding it down the mailbox.

Quinn suddenly feels embarrassed for the things she wrote, but then she reminds herself that her aunt probably won't even read it.

It's been years. Maybe she's just sending a letter into the abyss. It does make Quinn feel better, though. She got some things off her chest.