//ये हलचल, दिल की ये हलचल, बोले आज आस पास तू मेरे
बिखरा हूँ मैं तो, कुछ पल हवा में, तेरे भरोसा को थामे
चलना भी है बदलना भी है, तुझमे ही तो ढलना भी है
दिल थोड़ा जज्बाती है, भर जाता है बातों से
ये फिर छलके यूँ आँखों से, हो जैसे रेत जरा सी//
❃
8th January 2018, Delhi
9 PM
Dear Diary,
How fast time flies!
It has been a year, twelve months, fifty-two weeks, and three hundred and sixty-five days since Kabir left for his duty, his unwavering commitment to the Indian Army taking him to a place where even my thoughts struggle to reach.
Drass, they call it, the second coldest inhabited place on Earth, and it's where he is stationed. That remote outpost of bravery and sacrifice holds him within its unforgiving embrace.
Drass remains a distant dream, a place that holds a piece of him, a place I've come to know through his words and my imagination.
My goosebumps arise even at the mention of the place.
I get terrified by the cold of Chandigarh. The winds seem to seep into my bones and I find myself trembling.
Those times, I wonder how he is enduring those harsh conditions there, which are ten times worse than this, or perhaps more!
Only God knows!
Time passed in a blink, and so much changed in a year.
Like, so much!
I completed my post-graduation and earned myself a job as a creative content writer in Chandigarh. Kabir's dad retired, his brother found a job and Keerti and Chiki finished college.
What didn't change a bit was my longing for him!
My heart aches with a torment that just refuses to fade.
Seasons passed, and the yearning in my heart to see him, touch him, wrap my arms around him, and kiss him intensified with every passing day.
The hot summers of Delhi scorched my heart, when I stood on the stage, receiving my degree and missing my boyfriend.
The heavy rains of Chandigarh drenched my eyes when I rang his phone fifty times to share the news of my job, but every time the only reply I received was a mechanical voice saying, "The number you are dialing is out of network coverage area."
The chilly winds of Chandigarh made my heart cold as I longed for his warm embrace.
How much I missed you, Kabir!
Valentine's Day, Holi, Diwali, New Year's Day, everything came and passed, but no amount of joy could feel the sorrow I feel from his absence.
The world around me keeps moving, seasons change, festivals come and go, but everything feels stagnant. Time seems to have slowed down, as if it's taunting me, stretching moments into hours and days into eternity.
His absence is silently killing me!
Time has slipped by like grains of sand through my fingers, and yet my heart beats to the rhythm of his absence. It's been more than a year now, a year since I held his hand and looked into his eyes.
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