momentary bliss

4

TW; self harm

He remembered it all as if it was yesterday.

"Stan, are you feeling okay?" Kyle had asked, a hint of genuine concern visible on his face. Stan just nodded. The reasoning for him asking this was because Stan was bright red.

"K-kyle, I just wanted to ask, um.." He started, trailing off into thought. What if he said no? What if he never talked to him again after this? What if he hated him???

But he glanced over at Kyle, looking at his sweet face and the way he was looking at Stan and simply listening to him. He'd never do that.

"Do you want to go out with me??" He spat out, his eyes widening as he turned to look straight in front of him instead of at Kyle, in fear of what he'd say. He bit his bottom lip anxiously.

Kyle giggled. Stan furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the other male. Kyle was.. blushing too? "Of course I will, Stan." He responded, a warm smile plastered on his face. Stan was ecstatic. He instantly leaned over and hugged him, wrapping his arms around Kyle's waist and pulling him in closer. It was probably one of the best days of his entire life, if he was honest. That's what it went down as in his books at least.

...

"Have you been drinking?"

The question hit him like a truck. Stan immediately moved off of Kyle's lap, staring at the ground as he fidgeted with the skin around his nails.

"If I tell you you'll be mad." Stan replied, his voice low and cautious.

Kyle groaned, hiding his face in his hands. He couldn't believe it. I mean, he totally could. He'd already guessed Stan had been drinking solely from his body language but hearing the male sort of admit it just made him feel worse.

"I'm sorry, baby," He said, slightly glancing over at him, but not fully turning himself. "I-i promise it was just a one time thing, and I-"

"No, but that's the fucking problem, Stanley! It's not just a 'one time thing', you're an alcoholic!" Kyle interjected, his voice not fully yelling but he was definitely projecting.

This sent Stan over the edge, small tears bubbled in his eyes. "Do-don't call me that.." He muttered, crossing his arms over his chest and looking at the ground once again.

"But why?? It's true! Every single time you promise me not to drink, you go behind my back and fucking do it again! You're going to die before you even reach the legal drinking age!!" He retorted. There were tears forming in Kyle's eye too.

(dont cry please dont)

Hot tears rolled down Stans cheeks, he sniffled before standing up and walking towards the bedroom door. "I'm gonna go shower." He muttered under his breath, barely audible. Before he left, he grabbed a small ball of clothes he would wear after showering. The whole argument had caused him to partially sober up as he shut the door behind him. Kyle exhaled a shaky breath and wiped the tears off his cheeks before putting his shirt back on and then laying down on his side, so that he was facing the side of the room with the door on the wall.

He was calming himself down before something on Stans desk caught his eye..

(oh my god)