Entry 6: July 16th, 2019

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Dear someone:
You ever felt like everyone around you was so oblivious? Like you could ask for help and they would just dismiss you? Well, I did just that. I asked and was told to just tell my therapist next time I see her. I been thinking a lot lately and it's all too much. I'm trying so desperately to grasp onto something to stay here, and I go back to my sister every single time. But I'm not sure if even she can stop me. I'm sure she'll be fine without me. I know she would be sad for a few years but eventually the scar will heal and I will become nothing but a sweet bitter memory. She would then have her baby and husband to love and take care of. Who knows though. Maybe I will and maybe I won't. I been contemplating ending my story for a while. At this point, it's a matter of when. Don't get sad though. I'm not. It's life. Inevitably, you pass. I just so happen to like choosing when. Not wondering why or when, I want to go on my own terms. That's the beauty of it all. I get to decide.

Peace out,
Leia F.

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