I wish for

Your name is Dave Strider, and you can probably say you're the happiest person alive. Not that there are many people actually alive now, due to SBURB abd whatnot, but that's the leat of your worries. What you're currently concerned about is the fact you have your best friend/stupid crush in your arms, in a tight embrace.

It's the first time you had met and it couldn't be any better. It's a beautiful day, at least by the standards of LOWAS, and it's already your 14th birthday, or something like that. You'd like to think it was anyway. Because time really did fly in your session.

Anyway. John. John. John Egbert. You know, the guy you're unironically gay for? Yeah, it's him.

And he's totally hugging you back! If anything, he's holding you tighter. Not like you're complaining.

John lets out a quiet chuckle. You don't really know what's so funny, but that doesn't matter. It's just another part of him you had fallen deeply in love with.

Love. Love. You had never considered yourself in love with John, but it did sound nice. Love. You could easily put up with that. Actually, it makes a lot more sense now you think about it.

You love John Egbert.

You love his smile, his laugh. His buck teeth which aren't too noticable but adorable nonetheless. It may be the first time you had seen or heard him, but you love it nonetheless. You love the way his eyes would light up at even the smallest things, and the cute sigh of contentedness he makes. You love both his quiet chuckles and when he bursts out into laughter, as long as it's John Egbert you love it.

His laugh makes you melt inside because you had never heard a more beautiful sound. You'll never get tired of it.

You love his windswept black hair, and his eyes the same enchanting blue as the long walls of text you had reread messages from late at night and amused you all day. His gaze make you feel like you were drowning. But you wouldn't mind drowning like that.

Even the glasses he wears, similar to how you wear your shades, (except his are for seeing because he can't see for shit without them) are so characteristically John. And it's all perfect.

But it's not just his appearance you adore. Him being attractive is simply a bonus, but certainly not a bonus that won't be admired. Because you sure as hell admire the way he looks.

You had also fallen in love with his personality, long before you had ever even humoured the possibility of actually being able to meet him.

He was a huge nerd, but you still found it in yourself to adore that. And even though he could be a bit of an ass and seemed to constantly be poking fun at you, he still makes sure you know that you mean a lot to him.

You also really respect how smart he can be, even if he tends to not show it. But at the same time, how easy it is for him to blindly trust new people. That was a bit stupid, but at the same time you really appreciate it because it helped build up your unbreakable friendship.

On the other hand, he's pretty tough too; and he can stand up for himself just as well as any grown adult.

In general, conversation flows really easily between you, and it's fantastic. You love having someone to talk to at any time, because John will always have your back.

He also manages to really easily sway your opinion. You vaguely remember actually liking puppets and thinking they were cool, but John showed you the light. Puppets are fucking creepy.

You also feel really safe with him. In your opinion, LOWAS was a bit unnerving, and you were way more used to the heat and infinite red glow of LOHAC, but as soon as you had found John you knew things would all be okay.

John Egbert is nothing short of perfect to you, and no matter what sort of relationship you end up in you couldn't have asked for anyone better.

Maybe you'll stay just friends, but that's okay with you! If John's happy, then it's probably for the best. Or maybe more, but whatever - John's happiness is the most important to you and if he's okay, you're okay.

That definitely meant you were in love with him, right?

You realised John was still hugging you and didn't bother to fight the blush blooming on your face.

This is okay. It's more than okay, you could stay like this forever for all you cared.

Well, of course, that wasn't how things turned out. You eventually let go of eachother, although you continued holding hands like the sappy shits you are.

You could stay in silence for a while, and that would be nice. But you might as well man up and say what's on your mind.

"Hey, John?"

"Hm?"

"Uh, by the way, I love you."

You immediately recognise an expression of shock on his face, but you don't blame him. That was aort of a blunt way to put it. But you know that even if he doesn't reciprocate, John will either be confused and just brush it off or not judge you anyway. John wouldn't give a shit.

But after the initial shock he starts blushing. You think that's good.

"Oh, wow! I love you too, Dave."

That went better than expected.

You smile at him and he smiles back and you can't think of a way this day could get any better.

===

Later that day, you start getting spammed notifications from your iShades. So of course, the most reasonable thing to do would be to check your pesterchum.

The first person isn't exactly who you wanted to speak to, but you bared through it.

arachnidsGrip began pestering turntechGodhead at 16:08
AG: Daaaaaaaave, what ever did John mean?
TG: what
AG: You know what I'm talking a8out.
TG: hm maybe youre talking about fuck you
TG: im out
turntechGodhead ceased pestering arachnidsGrip at 16:08
AG: Fuck off, Strider. :::;)
arachnidsGrip ceased pestering turntechGodhead at 16:08

tentacleTherapist began pestering turntechGodhead at 16:13
TT: I quote, "rose, dave has brung me to the gay side!"
TT: I would like to offer you a congratulations for manning up. You're 14 now, it was about time.
TG: damn straight
TT: Pardon me, straight? I highly doubt that
TG: wait
TT: Anyway, I hope you two have fun!
tentacleTherapist ceased pestering turntechGodhead at 16:13

gardenGnostic began pestering turntechGodhead at 16:16
GG: dave!!!!!
TG: sup
GG: congrats with john :B
TG: thanks harley
GG: you go, cool kid extreme!!
GG: you and john are the cutest!!!!!!
gardenGnostic ceased pestering turntechGodhead at 16:17

carcinoGeneticist began pestering turntechGodhead at 16:20
CG: DAVE.
CG: WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK DOES JOHN MEAN BY 'THE GAY SIDE?'
CG: THAT'S ABSOLUTELY STUPID. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I EVER ENTRUSTED HIM AS YOUR LEADER.
TG: you see vantas what it means is
TG: john not a homosexual is now a homosexual
TG: you missed your shot
CG: WHAT THE FUCK.
carcinoGeneticist ceased pestering turntechGodhead at 16:23

You can only assume John's been spreading the news. You aren't all that bothered, because hey, let them know. Even though you hadn't really done much together so far, they can only watch in awe and envy at your awesome romanc

===

Dave threw the pen across the room and scrunched up the paper he was writing on. As Rose had told him many times already, locking himself away to write down possible scenarios where he could be happy wasn't healthy.

He needed to accept that John was gone for good, she said.
John wouldn't want you like this, she said.
Try move on, you don't want to be like this forever, she said.
You're being immature, she said.
Get a grip on things, this is reality, she said.
You're being really stupid, she said.

But he just

wished

John

never

died