DLD.

Chapter Eleven.

Frozen in time was the perfect way to describe my current state. I was beyond confused and scared, I was literally shaking in my boots when I arrived at the hospital. How I even got to this destination was such a blur, I just remember shockingly screaming at the sight of Alaric and within minutes one of our housekeepers was by my side. Gloria's shift was well over and she was actually leaving the Benjamin estate to retire home, so I was extremely grateful that she heard my cries and came to assist. I honestly don't know what I would've done if she wasn't here with me throughout this entire tribulation, as I felt completely stuck on stupid and unable to efficiently function.

Sitting brokenly in the hospital's waiting room, I felt Gloria's grip around my shoulders tighten. Something was telling me that Gloria knew all too well that I was on the verge of losing my shit, and it was high key due to the fact that we've been tirelessly waiting here for forever and a day with no recent updates about my husband. Mind you, the doctor attending to my husband was one of his best friends and already tried to assure me numerous times to stay calm, positive and patient, but that still wasn't enough for me. I needed to know desperately what was going on. This was the epitome of a life or death situation.

"Why don't you try calling his family again?" Gloria whispered. "It'll be good to have them here to provide moral support."

Huffing heavily at Gloria's advice, I shrugged. Calling Ace was a no-go, he was already fully consumed with his own pile of shit. I have been ringing Alaric's mom and sister's phone off the hook though, and they were either in a stone cold sleep or they simply didn't want to answer my calls. I hoped it wasn't the latter, because while I didn't share the best relationship with Alaric's family members, I still expected them to have some level of maturity. Their son/brother could possibly be taking a turn for the worse, and they weren't even here in this time of need.

"It's late...well, early." I murmured, glancing at Gloria weakly. "You should head out, go get some rest. Thank you for being here with me but I've got it covered from here. I mean it."

I absolutely did not mean it as I was scared shitless, yet I still had to take Gloria into consideration. She was one of my longest and oldest hard-working staff, and I'm sure she didn't foresee working all day to then take on additional non work related problems. She's done more than enough and will most definitely be compensated immensely.

"Are you certain?" Gloria asked worriedly. "I was prepared to stay the entire time with you, dear."

"Yes, I'm sure." I responded, trying to convince not only Gloria but myself. "I appreciate you greatly. If anything changes with Alaric, I'll let you know."

Gathering her things, Gloria nodded at me empathically. In two twos she was outta here, rightfully so. We both had a long day and it was looking like I was going to have an even longer night. In an attempt to calm my overworked nerves, I took a small stroll around the vicinity of the waiting area and started doing something I was severely lacking recently. Praying.

Talking to God was practically embedded in my sisters and I from the time we came out of the womb being that we were the daughters of one of the most respected pastors in the country. Our dad would always encourage a genuine relationship with the Father above, and throughout my life span I could say me and Big G were pretty much locked in. I would be lying if I said we were consistently intertwined though, because over the years maintaining a bond with our Savior has indeed been an up and down situation. I for sure haven't been living a righteous path or abiding by the principles I've been taught for a while now, which I can conclude played a role in the declining connection. Yet here I was clinging onto all the faith I still had within me, begging for a positive outcome in this Alaric affliction.

The amount of emotions I was encountering while stretching my legs around this medical institution were truly overwhelming and exhausting. It goes without saying that Alaric and I  didn't leave on the best terms, but I wasn't about to torture myself with guilt despite my many many swirling thoughts which contradicted that. Trying to block out this overthinking battle I was enduring, my new aim was taking Dr. Landon Williams' advice on being optimistic. I've known Alaric's best friend for the same amount of time that I've known my husband, and I found comfort in knowing that Alaric was in the hands of someone I could really trust. However, what wasn't relieving was not knowing and being left in the dark about the state of my husband because I honestly, truly wanted Alaric to be okay. He needed to be okay.

This day has been such a whirlwind, and I surprised myself greatly when a slight chuckle released from me as I made my way back to the hospital's waiting area. In spite of the numerous, plentiful times Alaric has made me upset and annoyed during our marriage, it was still amazing how he had the ability to make me yearn and want to reconnect with him. I supported Alaric 110% all the same, because I would hate for his story to end like this. He had so much to offer to his life, his community and to this marriage, and it would completely devastate me if he couldn't see that through. One minute Alaric was working every nerve in my body, and the next minute I was rooting for his success in all aspects. I shook my head at that thought, because it was so crazy that it took this whole ordeal to make me realize how much I seriously loved this man.

It was going on 2AM when Dr. Williams finally blessed me with his presence and the beaming smile on his face alluded to wonderful news on the horizon. Alaric was going to be more than okay, as Landon noted that he was fully awake and requesting to see me. Dr. Williams wasted no time catching me up to speed about Alaric's troubles on our walk to my husband's hospital room, and it disturbed me considerably to learn that Alaric fainted from internal bleeding. I was absolutely on board with Landon who wanted to run additional tests and investigations, but as for right now seeing my husband in the flesh was my top and only priority.

Landon led me to Alaric's room and left me on my own to enter, and when I did I thought my heart was going to break into a million pieces. Never have I ever seen my husband looking this frail and defeated, I almost didn't recognize him laying there. It made me feel weird inside, and I tried to hide my awkwardness as best as I could when Alaric and I came face to face. I don't think I masked myself well enough though, as I watched Alaric struggled a bit to scoot over, making space for me to sit. Smiling softly at the gesture, I obliged and that's when Alaric hit me with a major curveball by gently holding and rubbing on my hands anticlockwise. As miniscule as this action may seem, it instantly brought tears to my eyes because it reminded me of our college days when I would have these big, nerve rattling presentations. Back then I used to be so scared and unsure about showcasing my work to my classmates and teachers, but Alaric was always right there on the sidelines cheering for me shamelessly. He would do this exact hand motion every time right before I presented, and immediately I felt a sense of calmness and bravery. In this moment he was saying a lot without saying anything at all, and I figured it was best to indulge in this small reoccurrence of the man I once knew before he returned to his usual hectic, unbearable, tone-deaf ways. I'd be a fool to think that part of him simply vanished into thin air due to this sentimental deed, that would just be wishful thinking on my end.