my head hurts.
not that it doesn't always, but especially now.
i still see sparks when i close my eyes. and not just any sparks - but those irritatingly familiar technicolour swirls of orange and red, circling and swimming around an impossibly dark and colourless centre.
sometimes i think i see Hobie, poking a studded head around those sparks.
other times i see Pav, waving an excited hand from the void within.
once i saw Gwen - just her form - as it swung across from one spark to another, a smooth, webbed transition from one side of the void to the other, before she, in her entirety, faded to nothing.
the nightmares haven't stopped either. it's always those impossibly shifting Jenga blocks, and a guttural feeling that i'm useless.
i worry about Hobie.
hear that, you little fuck? i'm worried. now come back and get me so i can help you.
-
i thought about pinning it on the entry to my window, in naive hopes that maybe, just maybe, Hobie would see it. maybe if he came swinging past at a million miles an hour, eyes scanning my residence for signs of life, his superpowered eyes would land on it.
i didn't.
part of me didn't want to bother him. wherever he'd disappeared to, it had to be worse than simply attending school and completing monotonous assignments.
speaking of which; pretending to focus on schoolwork i'm years ahead of is becoming borderline impossible. that's not to toot my own horn, or sling my own web, in this case - but i cannot absorb another trigonometric theorem without throwing myself out of the nearest fire stairwell.
not that that will be a problem much longer - as the school break approaches, i find myself dodging the inevitable question of, "what are you getting up to over break?".
it's not like i can answer, "saving lives, taking names", like Batman. i'd be swiftly institutionalised. i think.
instead, i've found solace in the roof.
oh, and Peter. speaking of which, the bastard's peering over as i write this. gotta go.
YOU ARE READING
i hate labels - hobie brown (;spiderpunk) x oc/reader
Aventura"first off, hi, i'm y/n. i'm 17, i live in Brooklyn, New York, i'm a senior at Midwood High School, and i am writing in a dumb fucking diary. oh, and i am the one and only spider-man. or so i thought, originally. turns out being spider-man isn't tha...
