Her Voice 2 [JENLISA]

Chapter 32

Lisa

Death had stared into my eyes many times. I had felt pain before, but never like this. Anger held me captive. Grief shackled me down.

The sound of Jennis's cries—it made me weak.

The plane had just landed. Jennie woke up twice, both times screaming from a nightmare. I knew what she was seeing…I’d see the same thing every time I closed my eyes too.

I rubbed a hand over my face. Exhaustion weakened my bones and my body was just surviving on instinct now.

I fucked up. I knew that.

I had to make a choice, and I chose what I felt was right. She was my only choice. When it came down to who lived and who died, Jennie was my only option. The heart failed to see anything else.

Jennie was right. Nayeon deserved to live; she deserved a happy ending. She deserved so much more.

But…

Fate was cruel.

Time was bloodthirsty.

Death was vicious.

It needed blood. It needed a soul to take.

And I was just a mere woman, who was powerless against the greater entity.

I huffed back a cold laugh. Weak.

“I have lost so much. Again and again. It never ends. It’s a continuous circle. When will it end, Lisa? Tell me. When will it end…when will I stop losing those I love?”

My chest felt like it was wrapped in barbed wire. I held her tighter in my arms as we left the plane. She was still sleeping, but once the cold morning air hit her, her eyes fluttered open. Jennie looked lost for a moment, her eyes unfocused. She blinked a few times before her gaze finally landed on mine.

“Where are we?” Her voice was small and croaky.

“Home,” I said, choking on the word.

“You can put me down.” Her little whispers were breaking my heart. Jennie slid down the length of my body as I placed her on her feet. She was unsteady for a second before finding her footing.

“Are you okay?” I asked, lacing my fingers through hers. She nodded silently. Jennie glanced at her surroundings, taking in all the security men and the waiting car.

“I don’t understand…” She paused, clearing her throat. She winced a little before speaking again. “I didn’t have a passport. How—”

“It was already taken care of,” I cut in. “I know people, Jennie.”

When you had money and contacts with wealthy people, those in higher positions, a lot of things could be done with a snap of a finger.

Jennie nodded again, her eyes void of any emotions. “I am stupid. I should have known. Considering who you are.” Her voice was calm…dead.

I gripped her hand tighter. “You are not stupid. Don’t say that.”

“This way, sir.”

Jennie looked down, avoiding everyone now. I turned to the new voice and nodded at the man in charge of security here, said my thank yous, and then got in the waiting car with Jennie.

She was eerily silent, staring out the windows as the car started rolling.

Our freedom had come with a price. The thought twisted my heart, and I fought the urge to retch. I swallowed back the bitter bile while staring down at our entwined hands. Jennie hadn’t pulled away from me. Not yet.

Rubbing my thumb over her soft knuckles, I watched her impassive face. She wasn’t crying anymore, but I almost wished she’d cry. Instead of this look full of emptiness. Emotionless. So lost. Maybe if she’d scream…hit me…hate me…

At least, she’d be feeling something. Since her break down in the plane, Jennie had been silent, less talkative. Now, she was closed off, almost unapproachable. Breathing yet not really here anymore.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the seat. I wished I could turn back time, return to the past. And maybe save us from this misery.

Maybe…just maybe, I could have saved them all.

Maybe…just maybe, I could have given us all a happy ending.

The feeling of helplessness bore down on my chest. This was what failure felt like. A desolated soul. A happy ending built on the wreckage of our hearts.

You promised.

Nayeon’s voice haunted me, whispering in my ears.

You promised, Lisa. Please. Go.

FUCK!

My eyes snapped open, and I sat forward, my chest heaving with each breath. I could see Nayeon's face so vividly in my head. Her tear-stained face. Her weak body, kneeling on the floor.

I saw Jeongyeon, her face determined. Saw her back, saw her running into the estate as it exploded from all around. She had always been a savior, a woman with a hidden soft heart. A weakness for any helpless woman. In her last minute to live, she was there…playing the role of savior once again. Why? Why, damn it? She ran in there, knowing full well what could happen. She invited death with open arms and now…

Fuck. I smacked the side of my head, wishing all these memories would fade away.

But they haunted me. They mocked me. My gut clenched, and I released a shaking breath. It was my burden to carry.

I turned my head to the side and saw that Jennie had fallen asleep once again. Her body was curled against the door, her legs tucked beneath her. We were still holding hands, our fingers still laced together.

The rest of the car ride, I watched her. Her brows were pulled down in a frown, her expression pained even in her sleep. I soothed out the lines and caressed her cheeks, feeling her softness under my fingertips.

“I love you, myshka,” I whispered. “If I could have protected you from this heartache, I would have. But…I couldn’t. I fucking couldn’t…”

I squeezed her hand. There was a long silence as I tried to put my thoughts together, tried to wrap my head around everything that went down. All the lives that have been lost.

Bogum, a friend I found in hell.

Nayeon, a lost soul who deserved heaven and all beautiful things.

Jeongyeon, a sister—the prankster, with a devil’s smirk and deadlier hands.

I didn’t believe in fate before. People like us, we held destiny in our hands. Life and death—we owned it. But I was starting to believe that we all came on to this world with a purpose. We didn’t really realize that until we were staring into the eyes of death.

A friend died today, surrendering herself for another’s life.

A protector lost his life—a loyalty that ran deep.

A savior sacrificed herself.

My eyes found Jennie again. She was still sleeping, lost in a world where I couldn’t reach her. I wanted to…damn it all to hell…how I wanted to reach for her, hold her—tell her it’d be okay.

Except I didn’t know if even I believed those words anymore.

“I don’t know how we will move on from this. But…fuck…” I choked back my words as the emotions clogged my throat. “I just hope, one day, you can forgive me.”

Those words wouldn’t change the past, wouldn’t erase my failures.

But I’d beg for absolution for the rest of my life if I had to.

***

another one since im sorry<3