Word Count: 1,474 words
People: Claire x Faye
Genre: Angst
Written in: Third person
A/N: This story is set in 2023, but Claire, Faye and the rest of the band are in their 20s. So like Faye was born in 1995 and Claire in 1997. So just so we're clear on that. Again, all fiction. Also, trigger warnings for pregnancy and the troubles that come along with it.
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Claire looked at the pregnancy test. She broke down tears. Faye stood outside the door anxiously waiting for her wife of 3 years to come out of the bathroom. Claire opened the door, wiping her tears. Faye turned to face her and her heart sank, she instantly thought the worst after seeing the tears. "It's negative, isn't it?" Faye asked, her voice wavering, she herself was on the verge of tears. Claire silently handed her the pregnancy test. Faye took a deep breath, preparing herself for disappointment yet again, she turned it over and began crying as she read what it said. "You're pregnant?" she whispered, and Claire nodded. "We're going to be mothers, Faye," Claire smiled at her wife who was sitting on their bed, clutching a hand to her heart.
The truth was the last 5 years at least, they'd been trying to have a child. Faye had been the one to try and get pregnant first, after what felt like hundreds of failed attempts, they found out that Faye was infertile and couldn't get pregnant. It was one of the worst days of their lives. Faye fell into a deep depression from it, the only thing bringing her out of it was the prospect that Claire still could try and get pregnant. For months, it seemed like the same fate was in store for Claire. But that had all changed when she took that pregnancy test. After years of treatments and procedures and different methods, Claire was finally pregnant, and they couldn't have felt happier.
12 weeks, they discovered they were having identical twins.
20 weeks, they found out that the twins were to be girls. They started shopping straight away. They bought little onesies, dresses, and tiny baby socks.
30 weeks, they started on the nursery, they painted the walls a pretty lilac, and there were stars on the ceiling and a fluffy grey carpet on the floor. Along the walls, they'd put decals of animals everywhere. They built cots for the babies and even added a teddy each for the babies. Above each cot were the names they'd picked for the twins, Skye and Pixie.
32 weeks, Claire's water breaks 2 months earlier than it should.
"Faye," Claire tapped her sleeping wife's shoulder, Faye rolled over, "What is it, sweetheart?" she asked, her eyes still closed, "I think my water just broke," she said, internally panicking. Faye turned the lamp by her bedside on, "What?" she asked, looking over at Claire, "My water just broke," Faye began to panic, she got the hospital bag and helped Claire as much as she could. "Ok, come on sweetheart, I'll get you in the car and we'll drive to the hospital, you phone your mum, ok?" Claire nodded, trying her hardest to steady her breathing. They got in the car and Faye drove as quickly as the speed limit allowed. When they got to the hospital, Claire's parents were already waiting there. Claire got taken to a room as quickly as possible.
They sat there waiting for hours and hours before any sign of a baby coming was there. Claire had been in labour for 27 hours, and she was exhausted by the time she had to actually give birth. Faye stood next to her as she gave birth to one of the twins. She cried like a healthy baby should and those first few screams made Faye cry with joy. They had a baby. Just as quickly as the first twin, who they decided was Skye, was born, Pixie was on her way. The room was eerily quiet with the lack of crying. Everyone held their breath in hopes that Pixie would make a noise. When she didn't the nurses rushed her to be taken care of, Claire cried, holding Skye in her arms, "What's going on?" she turned to Faye, confused and upset. "Pixie isn't breathing," Faye stuttered, Claire broke down into tears, "What's happening to my baby?" she screamed, Faye tried her best to comfort her crying wife. "She'll be ok, just focus on Skye, ok?" Claire nodded eventually, bringing her attention to the tiny baby in her arms.
A nurse came back into the room, "We got Pixie to breathe, she is in intensive care and we need to take Skye there as they were born early and both weigh very little. Claire nodded, handing the nurse Skye carefully. Claire cried into Faye's shoulder, "Intensive care?" Claire asked her wife after the nurse left, "It's best for them, sweetheart, now try and sleep, ok?" Claire nodded and sniffled before falling asleep slowly.
Hours went by, Claire was still asleep while Faye was sitting in the room, waiting for news on their twins. A nurse walked in to find Claire asleep, "How are the twins?" Faye asked, hopeful that they were alright, "You may want to wake up your wife, Mrs Tozer," the nurse said, Faye got up and tapped Claire on the shoulder, "Clara, sweetheart, wake up. The nurse is here," Claire opened her eyes slowly, "How are my babies?" she asked, rubbing her eyes. "I'm terribly sorry, but we found that unfortunately, Skye developed sepsis after birth and unfortunately, after we tried our hardest, she did not survive," the nurse said, Faye gasped and began crying while Claire was in such a state of shock that it didn't register with her. "My baby is dead?" she asked, "Yes, my condolences to both of you," the nurse answered.
Claire didn't cry, which shocked Faye, "What about Pixie? Is she ok?" Claire asked, hopeful that at least one of her twins survived, "Unfortunately not, Pixie suffered what we call SIDS, sudden infant death syndrome, she stopped breathing completely, and we tried to resuscitate her but we were unsuccessful, I'm very sorry for the both of you," Faye who had been a mess of tears since the first words left the nurses mouth straightened herself up and found the courage to speak, "Thank you, you did everything you could for them and us. We appreciate it greatly," Faye managed a weak but genuine smile. The nurse nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her. Faye erupted into yet another breakdown of tears. "My babies are dead," Claire kept muttering to herself over and over.
"My babies are gone," Claire let out a heart-wrenching scream, falling into a fit of tears. Faye tried to hug her, "Sweetheart, come here," she said, only to have Claire push her away, "Get off of me," she shouted at Faye. Faye stepped back and held a hand on her chest, "I want to see them," she said, quietly. "What?" Faye asked as she was unable to hear what her wife said. "I want to see Skye and Pixie," she repeated, Faye left to find a nurse to ask. A little while later, the nurses bought both Skye and Pixie into the room. Claire gasped and cried as she saw her lifeless infants laying there. "We'll give you some time with them," one of the nurses said before they left the room. Claire picked up Pixie and bought her close to her chest. "My sweet girl," she said between tears, clinging closely to the newborn.
Faye picked up Skye, "Hello my little angel," she whispered, kissing Skye on the forehead, "Me and Mamma are going to miss you so so much, we'll think of you on each and every one of your birthdays and we'll have a party just for you and Pixie," she whispered. Of course, she knew they couldn't hear her, but she felt a need to talk to them as if they could. "I love you, so so much, my gorgeous little princess," she kisses her on the forehead once again before placing her on Claire's chest next to Pixie.
Claire cried seeing both of them there, "Our beautiful angels," she half smiled, half frowned. "Skye Everly Tozer and Pixie Marie Tozer, my babies," she placed kisses on both of their foreheads before handing Pixie to Faye. "I can't believe they're gone," Claire sniffled, looking down at Skye who looked like she was sleeping, "I know sweetheart," Faye sighed, tears still rolling down her cheeks. "My darling Pixie, I love you more than you could ever know," Faye whispered to the baby in her arms. After 20 minutes with their babies, they had to be taken away again. Claire gave them both a kiss, as did Faye and they said goodbye.
Claire cried into Faye while Faye tried her hardest to console her wife while also letting her emotions run wild. 5 years of trying. An infertility diagnosis. Artificial insemination. IVF. Everything. Miscarriages. Negative pregnancy tests. After 5 long years, a miracle their little miracles. Gone within just 18 hours of their birth. As if all of this trouble meant nothing.
