The "𝔫𝔢𝔯𝔡" and The "𝚋𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚢"

17. Callous

It takes me a good five minutes to take in the view in front of me and I still cannot believe my eyes. Am I daydreaming? Or my guilt has taken over me to the extent that I am seeing things? Because there's no way Taehyung could ever look so....bold.

A girl just pushed past me which means it's NOT A DREAM. And here I am, still spacing out. I need to talk to him.

"Taehyung-", I called out his name but he didn't hear me because of the crowd around him.

The girls are all over him, introducing themselves as if he's some celebrity. And the boys, well, trying to be all friendly with him. Come on guys! He is Taehyung! The same guy whom you earlier didn't even pay attention to!

"What's happening over there? Get back to your classes. NOW!", I heard Mrs Kang behind me. Never been more glad to have you here. The crowd, like marbles, scatters away in a rush.

"Oh hey, Taehyung!", Mrs Kang says. "I was really worried that you'd miss out a lot on your studies. Well, now that you're back, I'm glad. Shall we go to the class now?" They both go to the class, totally ignoring me. Am I invisible as of the past 15 minutes?

During the class, he was in his usual seat but I had to sit in the front because some girl took my seat. Of course, to hit on Taehyung. Man! I can't even turn and look back. It feels so awkward.

I tried so hard not to sleep but ended up sleeping instead, without any clue about when the bell rang. The students were out, which means Taehyung must be, too.

I rushed up to the cafeteria because he'd be there with Jimin, of course. Peeking inside the cafe, I spot two heads, giggling and laughing. Taehyung and Jimin.

I walk over to them and stand facing Taehyung. "Taehyung. I have to talk to you." He stops chewing and waits for a moment before getting up. "Let's go to the class", I say. Taehyung picks up his plate and walks AWAY?! What the hell? He stops, turns back, and says, "I'm done eating, Jimin. Let's go play basketball."

They both just walk away from me and here I am, dumbfounded. "Basketball? Seriously?", I murmur to myself as I race up to the Basketball Court. "Since when did he start playing basketball? Can he even drib-" I am cut short. Not by anyone else but by what I just saw.

What the heck?! Was he always that good at B-ball? The guys' faces, on the court, are clearly showing that they're impressed.

It angers me. I've been waiting to talk to him for days and, heck, he's here all jolly, playing basketball, completely ignoring me, when he came back after five fucking days!

The guys seemed to be done with whatever little game they were on with, heading towards the locked room. You're not getting away this time.

I wait for all the guys to leave the locker room. Jimin left too. Taehyung's still inside. Well then, let's get over with it. 

I hurry inside the room, tip-toeing. Nerdy's washing his face. He looks up in the mirror and finds me standing behind him. "I need to speak to you", I say.

"I don't want to listen", he says. Anger fumes inside me and I grab him by the arm, facing him towards me. "Why? Why won't you listen to me? I said I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU", I grab his collar.

"Look who's talking! Didn't I already listen to you enough that night? Leave my collar", he says. His voice, now, had the firmness in it. It was bolder than usual. It was weird that his voice sent chills down my spine. Was he...overpowering me?

Nevertheless, I want to tell him that I'm sorry for what I did. I want to apologize. I want to explain it to him! I want to— talk to him.

"I know you're angry about what I did. You should be! But just hear me out, okay?! I wanted to apologize to you but I couldn't— You didn't come to class or the dorm! And— trust me! Jae Wook isn't the kind of person you think! He—"

Taehyung cut me off, "I don't care. The kind of a person Jae Wook is or whatever he did, I don't give a damn about it. And you know what Jungkook? I don't even care about your fucking apology now! Just go away, man!"

My eyes widened in disbelief as if a sudden jolt of electricity had coursed through my veins, leaving me momentarily stunned. What did he just say? He didn't care?

My mind went blank at the moment but soon was flooded with anger and guilt. I knew the reason, somehow. It was okay for him to hate me but he has to care! He cannot just not care when I am apologizing!

"What do you mean you don't care? You. Have. To. Care." My emotions took over me and I acted on them. Did something that a person in their right mind would never do.

It felt as if two puzzle pieces were put together to fit in... As if the knots in my chest loosened which I didn't even realize were clutching at me from inside... As if I wanted to do this... As if I NEEDED to do this... As if I was kissing him...

Heck yeah! I was kissing him...

Realization hit hard and I pushed him away. More like I pushed myself away from him. The fuck did I just do?! I stumbled back and on my words, "I— I'm sorry— I wasn't trying to—"

"What were you NOT trying to do? Huh?", Taehyung says, glaring at me with his big, dark brown eyes. How can he be so calm in a situation like this?! "Answer me, Jungkook."

Taehyung stepped forward and I stumbled back. His eyes still blaring holes into me. A cold shiver ran down my spine when my back hit the locker behind me.

Taehyung comes closer and stands straight, without breaking eye contact. He leans forward slightly, hands on either side of me, on the locker and says, "What were you trying to do?"