As She Lies Dying

Death By Lethal Injection

Previously;

"Then I just kept re-running every memory I could remember through my head and waited," she finished off by saying.

She could hardly believe how lucky she was, her shield was protecting her from the burn of the change. Bella was beyond happy about this; it was the one thing she had not been looking forward to. She was trying to remember everything that she could about her life, thanking God it was only eighteen years and not longer. The early years were patchy and full of love, but some moments stood out. The ballet fiasco, learning to ride a bike, a myriad of hospital visits. Bella remembered how the doctors looked sideways at Renee, her mom after a few visits.

That was until she tripped over the leg of a chair in the ER and knocked over a trolley of medical supplies and ended up need stitches in her forehead as well as them setting the broken arm she'd come in with having come off her new bike. That was when a nurse suggested ballet lessons to Renee for balance issues, god that was not a good idea. In only one lesson, Bella kicked some poor girl, slapped another with a flailing arm and then took a whole line of them down after tripping on a loosened ribbon.

She remembered her visits to Charlie, her father. About falling into the tide pools every year like clockwork. Sliding on wet patches, launching herself down his stairs. Bella was tripping and stumbling her way through her formative years until Charlie gave her a book to read, as a joke. He said she'd be safer sitting down reading. With her eyes fastened to the pages, Bella could walk without tripping, avoid obstacles and even evade falling down the stairs. The doctor said it was because she was no longer consciously trying, so her body did it automatically, it was crazy and could only happen to her!

But through it all, Bella's childhood was good. Renee was no cook, she was flaky and forgetful, but she was fun. They did many things she'd never have tried on her own and for that Bella was truly thankful to her mother. Her family wasn't perfect but they were her family and Bella loved them very much. If everyone listened to the way Edward described them, you'd think Charlie was a country hick and Renee poor white trash, that's about as far from the truth as you could get.

Now she starts to remember more recent times, her move here when Renee and Phil married. They needed space and she needed not to hear them having sex, Eeew! Not that they shouldn't, but her mum can be very, let's say vocal at times. There are some things Bella doesn't need to know and that topped her list. So she decided to move in with Charlie and take care of him for a while before she went to college. Because Bella had meant to go and although she never told anyone what she'd be studying, it was important to her.

But she was sucker punched by meeting the Cullens, not getting the chance to be herself before Edward took over every aspect of her life. Bella knew now, he, as she called it dazzled her. In other words, he used his vampire lure on her, making Bella do his bidding most of the time. Because how else could an independent, strong-willed person become a weak-willed, reliant fool like she did. Charlie didn't really see it because of only seeing her for two weeks every year. But that wasn't her and at first, she didn't complain because Mr Wonderful liked her!

But even so, occasionally Bella talked back and made her feelings plain and Edward swept them aside as irrelevant. Everyone saw what Alice and Edward wanted them to see. Bella was not her best friend, just a living tailor's dummy for Alice to dress. Come on, she was Jessica on steroids, why would Bella want her to be her friend. What Bella still didn't understand was what their game was, but when she awakes it's over. So Bella staggered through those months in a vampire-induced haze caused by both Edward and Alice, she saw that now, but why?

He never wanted her physically but was attracted to the blood and the quiet mind. That she kind of understands. Bella was that expensive bottle of wine, one you bought but had no intentions of opening, ever! But what was Alice's part in all this, she couldn't figure that out? Then like a bolt out of the blue Bella felt it all slide into place. Jasper! Alice always tried to keep them apart, said he had no control, that he'd kill her. If she loved him she'd have been with him all the time, not Bella. So why did she not want them to spend time together? What did Alice see?