Love Life

The Train

"Diagon Alley"

A cloud of smoke surrounded you and suddenly you appeared in the flashy bright lights of Diagon Alley. You just had to buy a few books, and, you had your eye on a cat. As you were walking over to the book store, Matthew caught your eye. He was in borgin and burkes, browsing. You know you shouldn't, but you couldn't help but stare at him. He was laughing about something, you loved it when he laughed. A slight grin curled up at the side of your mouth and you sighed, remembering how you made him laugh. 
Suddenly someone bumped into you, and you turned around quickly, preparing to get into a fight, but to your surprise, it was Enzo, and he smirked and apologised.
"hi y/n, how was your summer?" he smiled, then opened his arms for a hug
"problematic" you hugged him.
"what about you?" you asked, not really caring about the answer; your mind was elsewhere.
"y/n?.." he said softly, he could tell where you were looking.
You cleared your throat "what?" you said pretending to act oblivious.
"Just forget about him. Only Draco and Tom talk to him now." he said quite coldly. You could tell he was mad.
"w-what are you talking about i'm the one that took it too far.."
he laughed to himself. "y/n, he punched you in the face. Then he came over to us and yelled at us and told us not to be friends with you. You really think we'd listen to him?"
"i guess not." you sighed and followed Enzo who had to get a whole new set of books. You kept thinking to yourself, 'what if Enzo didn't know what you did'. But you ignored yourself.
While you were in the cauldron shop, you ran into Blaise and Pansy who were crossing things off their list.
"Enzo! How've you been!" Blaise rushed over to him and Pansy followed.
"uh great" Enzo replied. "new hair cut?" he smirked.
"hi Blaise." you said, hoping he wouldn't bring up anything.
"uh y/n, hi. How are you?"
"fine." you signalled to Pansy to leave them and walked off with her chatting. She was the only one who was on your side at the end of last year.
Things were better than you thought, you were laughing chatting, and most importantly you still had friends.
Then the clock chimed 10:00.
"Oh we better get to King's cross." Pansy said. She was always the most organised. She always made sure to get to places on time or with time to spare.
"Pans we have 45 minutes until the train leaves we don't need to go anywhere! Plus my mum said i could get a cat and the pet shop is just over here cmon!"
"fine.." she said reluctantly and followed you.
You picked out a black cat 2 years in age.
"he's so cute!" you you said to Pansy after leaving the shop.
"Um, y/n i think it's a female cat."
"what? oh you're right" you looked at the clock and it was 10:14. "oh sh1t we should probably go now."
"you think?" she sounded annoyed.
"sorry" you said half meaningfully. "Let's go."
You and Pansy caught up with Enzo and Blaise who were also leaving and you all walked to King's cross station with your trollies together.
"Y/n, i forgot to ask, what actually happened between you and Matthew?" Blaise asked, somewhat curious but also just to make conversation as you had ignored him all summer.
"Oh, um, just a fight. You know how Matthew gets." you exhaled awkwardly as you saw Blaise eyeing you, he looked suspicious.
"Matthew would never punch a girl in the face unless they really deserved it, especially you." he said curtly.
"well i don't know what i did!" that was a lie.
"he just punched me with zero warning!" again, a lie.
"sure." he said, and slightly ignored you on the way to the station.
"wait, guys i have to tie my shoelace" you tried to stop them but they just kept walking, not noticing you at all.
"great."
After you tied your shoelace and got everything back on your shoulder, they were out of sight. You were annoyed and slightly worried as you didn't exactly know how to get to the station without them.
You checked your watch. 10:23.
You were on your own, just like you feared. Then, in the distanced you saw Matthew walking with Tom on their way to the station. You groaned and realised they were your only hope of getting to the right place so you followed them, trying to keep a proper distance so they didn't know what you were doing.
Your plan worked for a while, but at 10:32, Tom noticed you in a glass window.
"shit." You hid behind a telephone box and took out your notebook. Pretending that's what you were doing the whole time.
Tom and Matthew walked over to you and your heartbeat increased dramatically.
"y/n were you following us?" Tom asked annoyed.
"what? no i was just sketching.." you looked at Matthew but quickly looked down when you saw he was already staring at you.
"yes you were. Don't lie." Matthew said frustrated, and ushered Tom to leave you alone.
"sorry.. i just needed a way to get to the station. It wasn't creepy i swear!"
"whatever." Matthew glared at you then left. Tom followed.
"b1tch." He said under his breath as he left.
Somehow it hurt just as much now as it did the first time, as you had a deep down feeling that he'd try to make up. Obviously you were wrong and your hopes got the better of you, again.
You didn't retaliate, you just sighed and followed some random Ravenclaw girls instead. They were smart, you thought. They must know where the station is.
You checked the time again, it was 10:39 now.
"sh1t i only have 5 minutes." But luckily for you, you only needed 5 minutes as you had already arrived at the station. You proceeded into the station, envelope in hand (it had the ticket in it) and walked over to platforms 9 and 10.
You made sure no muggles were nearby then followed the girls onto platform 9 3/4. A sigh of relief washed over you as you saw your friends talking by the train. You ran over to them and they turned, relieved to see you too.
"fvck y/n, where did you go?" It was Theodore.
You hadn't talked to Theo for a while now. But he seemed to be worried about you nevertheless.
"oh, nowhere. i just had to tie my shoelace."
"you should have said something!" Enzo said, voice slightly raised.
"sorry" you said calmly.
Theo laughed to himself.
"Jeez Enzo it's not like she needs you guys to find her way to a station." He looked at you and winked, knowing fully well that you did.
You always had a soft spot for Theo, you never knew why but you were always good friends no matter what happened.
"Oh who's this?" Theo asked, pointing to your cat.
"meet Rose" you grinned and stroked the cat that was already quite fond of you.
"That's a nice name" Enzo said, looking at you smiling.
"thanks, i just thought of it."
"sure you did." Theo said under his breath. Luckily only you heard him.
The reason being, you and Matthew were always close. Late night talking, walks along the black lake etc. And the name he called you was Rose. It was his pet name for you. The day he met you, you had a rose on your dress and the name stuck.
However, only Theo knew about it as he was Matthew's closest friend and well, shared a dorm.
You gave Theo a look then returned to petting Rose.
Suddenly the train whistled and it was time to get on. You Pansy, Blaise, Enzo and Theo walked onto the train and into an empty compartment.
An hour passed and you were just chatting, chilling and having a good time, when suddenly you heard shouting from in the hallway. A lot of students were peering through to see what was going on.
I think you can guess who it was, that's right, Tom and Matthew.
Matthew was yelling at the top of his voice, angry about well.. you. And Tom was yelling back, slightly more aggressively, saying what a d1ck Matthew was being.
"she only did one thing why is it such a big deal?!" Tom yelled.
"do you even know what she did?! she fvcking disrespected me! She fvcking did the one thing i never thought she'd do!"
"what! what did she do then huh? you complain about it then never tell anyone the truth!"
Your friends were now looking at you. You looked down and hoped that he wouldn't yell it to everyone on the train.
"you wanna know what she did? you wanna know? really?"
"fvck yes!"
"she compared me to HIM." he lowered his voice, but unfortunately they were right outside your door. "she looked me in the eye, and told me i was 'just like him'. She told me she hated me.. and that she didn't know why we were friends." You could tell their was anger and sadness in his voice.
There was silence. Your friends were staring at you in shock at what he just said. Tom was no longer defending you. You looked at them apologetically but they weren't paying attention.
Blaise cleared his throat. "what the fvck." he said quietly.
"i-i.." you sighed and a tear ran down your face.
Enzo looked at you, no longer smiling.
"i'm not gonna sit here and pretend that didn't just happen."
"it just..sort of.. came out. okay? i didn't mean it!" you were breathing slowly, trying to stop yourself from crying.
"but.. did you seriously, compare him with you know who?" Pansy asked somewhat confused.
"Pans you don't have to say that just say Voldemort. it's not hard." Theo said and rolled his eyes. He looked at you, trying to figure out if you were sincere or not. He came to the conclusion that you were.
"y/n.. i can't believe you didn't tell us."
"yeah you lied to us!" Blaise shouted.
"guys.. lower your voice.. their outside." you begged. you seriously hoped they didn't know you were right there.
"she's right." Enzo sighed. "sh1t y/n."
but it was too late. You could hear Matthew talk about where you were. You held your breath hoping they wouldn't open the door but yet again, your hopes were too high.
Matthew opened the door and stared at you.
"i knew it. i told you she was right there!" he said to Tom who was also glaring at you.
"well you happy now? now i've just blurted your secret to everyone? hmm?" still staring at you, waiting for an answer.
"Matthew i.."
"i don't wanna hear it y/n. You're always the victim, you're the one sitting chatting with my friends. Acting as if you've done nothing wrong. Well now everyone knows. And just look at their faces, they can't believe you can they. Now they know what a b1tch you are."
"Matthew, enough." Theo said aggressively. "Don't forget you punched her in the face then left without letting her apologise. So you can't blame her for having friends." He looked at you softly.
"seriously, you're still on her side?"
"i'm on no one's side! God you're so childish. Who needs sides?! why can't you guys just communicate! you know, instead of insulting her and giving her no second chance!" Theo raised his voice and stood up.
Matthew scoffed and closed the door violently, him still inside.
"what are you doing Riddle." Theo stood closer, threatening for a fight.
"i need to speak to y/n. 'communicate'." he said sarcastically.
"no. now get out." Theo looked at Matthew and scoffed.
"i didn't ask for your permission." he looked at you and grabbed your arm and forced you out.
"hey!" you yelled but he didn't care.
he took you to a separate compartment that was luckily empty.
"great. let's talk." he said, looking at you waiting for you to respond.
"Matthew i don't know what to say."
"fine. let me start." he cleared his throat. "Matthew. I'm sorry i'm a b1tch who can't be trusted and will break your heart as soon as you let your guard down."
"i broke your heart..?"
"sh1t. of course you did y/n! you're so fucking oblivious of everything. I. Loved. You."
A tear fell down your face.
"don't do that. no you can't just cry and make me feel sorry for you."
"i'm sorry. i'm really sorry. i'm sorry about everything.. i'm sorry for what i said.. i'm sorry for not knowing.. i'm sorry i'm sorry really."
another tear rolled down your face and you wiped it away.
"ugh. i know you are. i just.. it will never get out of my head that you think i'm just an as*hole. that that's all i am. i don't give a fvck if anyone else does but not you. i thought you were different."
"i don't think of you like that. i misspoke. i promise. please how do you not understand that! there's good in everyone!" well.. not everyone, you thought.
"really? everyone? even my dad?" he said knowing the answer.
"ugh don't play with me riddle. your dad is a dark lord that has returned to kill Harry Potter and will kill anyone that gets in his way!"
"yes and i'm 'just like him'."
"fvck me" you said to yourself.
"it's tempting." he smirked and looked at you, harshly but less harsh than before.
You gave him a look then smirked back. Your heart was beating fast as deep down you knew things would only get better from here.
"Matthew.. i'm really sorry. i 100% didn't mean what i said and i really hope you get that... can i go back to the others now?"
"i guess. but don't tell them anything. this is between you and me understand."
you rolled your eyes and he grabbed your wrist.
"get. that?" he said more aggressively.
"yes okay!"
"good." he cleared his throat again and was going to open the door when he realised it was locked.
"sh1t.. you got your wand? i left mine with Tom and Draco."
"no it's in my cabin.. why?"
"the doors locked."
"you're kidding."
"nope."
"fvck. so what do we do..?"
he ignored you and sat down, taking up the whole side of the compartment with his arms, stretching them out and leaning his head back. he took out a cigarette and lit it, blowing smoke into your face making you cough. he sniggered when you coughed and continued doing it.
"ugh stop you're filling the cabin up with smoke."
"then open a window" he said sounding muffled as he still had the cigarette in his mouth.
You opened the window and snatched the cigarette out of his mouth and threw it out.
"hey! what was that for!"
"it's bad for you."
"you don't think i have another one?" he laughed and grabbed another one from the pack. You went over to grab the pack and throw that out when he grabbed you and stopped you.
"don't you dare. it's the only pack i have.. for the train."
"let go Matthew."
"only if you promise to leave me alone."
"fine."
You got slightly upset because you realised it wasn't your place to take his cigarette away, and there was a knot in your stomach thinking about the fact that Matthew loved you. He doesn't still love you and he deliberately made sure you knew that. Things were awkward and you just sat in silence for about 10 minutes until Theo knocked on the door asking who was in there. He was trying to find you.
"aww are you getting worried?" Matthew asked mockingly, looking at you with a playful look in his eyes.
"y/n what is he doing in there are you okay?" he sounded slightly concerned but mainly annoyed.
Matthew got annoyed too "what, you think i'd hurt her?!"
"yeah pretty much that sounds like you." Theo said from behind the door.
"Theo i'm fine." you coughed again from the smoke. Worst timing, you thought to yourself.
"ugh Matthew are you smoking?" Theo said judging him.
"yeah.. what are you gonna do about it?"
".. can i have one?"
You laughed and Matthew rolled his eyes.
"i'd give you one but the door is locked and we don't have our wands."
"ooohhh that's why you took so long" That was Pansy's voice.
"hey Pansy"
"hi. so are you guys good?"
Matthew laughed, loudly, as if to say not a chance, and you got kinda upset by that but didn't show it.
"just let us out Theo" you said impatiently.
"fine, Alohomora"
you heard the door click open and sighed of relief. Theo opened the door and took a cigarette from Matthew then looked at you and saw a mark on your wrist.
"Matthew are you kidding me?"
Theo grabbed your wrist and showed him the mark.
"oh that's not from Matthew." you said, half lying.
"it isn't?"
"no it's from home, ages ago. it doesn't even hurt anymore."
"oh. okay."
"hey Theo, can you leave me and y/n to talk a bit more?" Matthew said quietly, looking at you curiously.
"why the fvck-"
"thanks!" he slammed the door in Theo and Pansy's face.
"that was rude!" you crossed your arms.
"whatever. anyway, why did you defend me? i didn't even know i hurt your wrist you didn't have to lie."
"it wasn't exactly a lie Matthew"
"what are you talking about? i hurt your wrist, i grabbed it hard and caused a mark. you said it was from h- wait. did something happen at home?"
"no." you said unconvincingly.
"sureee. y/n what happened at home?"
"nothing! why do you care anyway. you were the one that called me a bitch more than once, less than 20 minutes ago."
"why do you think? y/n. tell me what happened at home!" he wasn't asking anymore. he demanded an answer.
"..my dad left."
there was more silence.
you didn't cry. you sounded upset and you talked quietly but you didn't cry.
"sh1t."
"and he would, pull me away from every fight.. grabbing my wrist, he'd drag me from my room without any warning.. and he'd grab my wrists and shake me every time i got him mad" your voice was slightly shaken but you still didn't cry.
"oh.. i'm sorry." he tried to cheer you up. "well now we both have daddy issues" he chuckled awkwardly and sat next to you. You could tell he didn't exactly want to hug you as he was still mad at you but then again he cared for you and didn't like when you were upset.
"yeah i guess.." suddenly all the feelings of your dad took over and tears welled up in your eyes.
"sorry i must seem so stupid crying over this, i mean.. your dad is literally Voldemort."
"thanks for reminding me" he smirked " but it's not stupid."
he hugged you and you rested your head on his shoulder tears rolling down your face, it was the first time you felt safe in ages and you really felt like a weight had lifted off your chest.
"..i'm sorry." he sounded genuinely empathetic. "i know how you feel.. and it sucks"
"yeah it does.."
"do you wanna..stay here for the rest of the ride? or do the others know as well."
"only Enzo knows.. but i think he full on hates me after what happened earlier." you smiled. "sure.. i'll stay here. although, i should probably tell them where i'm going, and get my wand and stuff." you sighed.
"i'm sure Enzo doesn't hate you, he hates me.  That's for sure."
"i'll be back in a sec" You said and walked out the cabin. You opened the door to where your friends were, and they looked at you blankly as you walked in.
"hey." Blaise said roughly.
"..hey." you said roughly back. He looked at you annoyed. "i'm just grabbing my stuff."
"what are you talking about where are you going? and are you okay?" Enzo said, so he obviously didn't hate you. He must have seen that something was bothering you.
"i'm.. staying with Matthew."
"what?!" Theo said concerned and also confused.
"did you make up?" Pansy said hopeful.
"uh, i think so. i'm not sure, he just.. wants me to stay." you looked at Enzo and tried to tell him that you told Matthew about your dad without saying anything. He understood immediately and smiled.
"fine. bye." Blaise was obviously still really mad at you for lying and well, doing something terrible. But the others seemed to just let it go. You left, and came back to Matthew, you saw that he was talking to Draco.
"oh.. hi Draco." he ignored you. he rolled his eyes and whispered to Matthew asking why on earth you were there. Matthew just waited until Draco was finished and told him they were trying to make up.
Draco looked at you for confirmation and you nodded. He scoffed and left, pushing past you as he did. You fell into the side of the door and didn't even bother to do anything about it.
"well..? want another hug?" he asked softly. You just nodded and hugged him tightly.
You talked for hours about how your lives sucked and how you were both in the same sort of position, and realised that you and him really needed to have each others back. Suddenly you arrived at Hogwarts and you were seriously tired. You and Matthew had been talking all day and you really feel like you guys could be okay again. You and him walked out the cabin and got off the train. Draco was talking to Tom and glaring at you as he did so.
"Just ignore them" Matthew said and held your hand. Suddenly your heart skipped a beat and you finally realised. You love Matthew Riddle.