HIM AND I

chapter 1

The world became black and white after he left,his exact words to me were he'd always be there ,but he was a liar,and now these people expect me to show up in black just too see people mourn him, they didn't care about him when he was here so why are they sobbing like he was important to them.
I got off my bed then dragged my feet till I was able to get to the wardrobe,I opened it with very little energy and picked a black sweat pants and a black-ish top..it was mostly grey,but who's going to notice. I managed to put them on over the small gown I was wearing,other people would have just taken it off first but no,I'd rather look insane than normal
I went downstairs and then I ran into my brother who seems to have his life in order
"Hey, good morning,uhmmm...you're wearing that?"
He said holding a coffee cup, wearing a well fitted black suit.
"Good morning Ira" I replied
"I was asked to pick you up, we'll just fix what ever this is before heading to the church,is that okay?"
"I'm fine like this" I said as I made a cup of coffee for myself
"And you shouldn't be drinking that"
"okay"I said then grabbed my cup
"Okay? You're supposed to drop the cup,we should leave now or we're going to be late".
It was a very awkward drive to the church,mostly cause Ira kept looking at me,and we had nothing to say. It was a 10 minutes drive with no conversation at all
"Are you doing okay?"ira asked as he parked the car
"Yes I'm fine"
"I'm here for you I hope you know that"
"Yes"
He got down from the car then went around to open the door for me,I've always been treated like this,I have two brothers and they do their best to make me happy. He held my hands and we entered the church together. We entered the hall and I tightened my grip,I've always hated crowds but this time it wasn't about the amount of people in the room or how it became very silent as we entered,instead it was the realization that this whole thing is my reality,I'll never see him again. Ira's hands suddenly became moist and I knew he was feeling what I was feeling, although he had a pleasant look on his face that couldn't hide the dark circles round his eyes. we took our seats right beside my other brother,Uriah and my mother.
The funeral was a really long one,an hour into it I had to excuse myself,I left the hall walking fast with my face held down. The moment I passed the door I felt a warm liquid running down my eyes and I couldn't control it.
   I had a feeling I was being followed but I just didn't want to turn around.
"Are you okay?" He said holding out an handkerchief.
There was sympathy in this voice and it didn't sound like anyone I knew,so I just kept my face down to avoid eye contact
"You're his daughter right?"
I nodded then looked at his shoes,they didn't look expensive,but also didn't look like knock offs.
"Do you want to be excused?"He asked.
Well clearly he's not the brightest,but he seems polite,and from his heavy breathing I bet he ran after me.
"Maybe"I said as I sat on the stairs.
"Okay,that's not a no".He sat beside me then continued talking,yes, he continued talking like he couldn't read what I was trying to give out ,see,not the the brightest.
"I met him just 2 months ago, he's a really nice man".
"Was"i said,but he totally ignored me
"you're ivy,he said so many things about you".
"where did you guys meet?".
"He gave me a lift when my car broke down"
" okay......I have to go back now"
"Okay,it was nice meeting you ivy"
I stood up and finally got a glance at his face,it matched the calmness in his voice and that was all I could figure 'cause it was only for about 2 seconds,yes he was good looking,but I didn't have enough time to get the exact description. I walked towards the door and noticed he wasn't following, apparently he was going the other direction,he was leaving,I paused then turned to look at him again and he looked like he was in a hurry.
Turns out he wasn't running after me the other time,he was actually going somewhere. He got into a black car and zoomed off,I spotted a little drift,cool. But then I felt like I was having this deja Vu,I had seen that exact car,and I'm very sure ,but I don't know where.