Honey lightly take my hand
If you pull too hard I'll sink like broken hearts do..and if you let me off easy I'll float off like seeds in the wind
Keep me balanced and in the right spot
Sweetheart hold me in the light
Weld me into the person I'm meant to be
I've just merely escaped depression and I need an anchor of truth
I need real and always there. Not a fake smile or turned back
I'm afraid of the people that touch me because I can't rely on anyone with my uneasy mindset
Touch is what relates to the sweet pain of relationships, whether family or a lover. It'll come back and make you regret every contact with their skin you've ever had.
I'm unstable.. yet usually I can trust myself on the good days
But even then I see the scary things.
The dark gnawing at my feet, chasing the shadows I leave across sidewalks.
I have hate in my heart. But over time it's dissipated, through the cutting and drugs. It's mellowed out and I've gotten through the depression, even though suicide lingers like a sour taste in my thoughts. The white lines that criss cross my sides rack tremors through my body every time I see them. When I draw my fingertips over them, I relive the times of hiding in closets, running down roads at midnight and listening to my parents getting constantly and constantly abused.
The cigs have gotten me away a few times, but I think too hard in that hazy state. The vyvanse makes me focus too hard, I expect my brain to burst. Every time I try a new method, the depression slinks it's way back in and I'm stuck in quicksand once again.
The flowers that used to bloom in my heart are shriveled and dying.. I need you to water them.
They say poets are usually in majors: very happy or very sad.
I am neither.
I am in pain and if you listen closely you can hear the bones in my body shattering one by one. Sometimes I don't even know I'm crying until I look down and their are raindrops on my shirt. I don't feel the cuts I make until I see the blood pour out and I know it was too deep. People don't think their jokes are cruel until I look in the mirror and call myself everything they've called me.
Honey look me in the eyes and tell me you have me.
The day is fresh and their is no anxiety to have.
If only I could believe you.
