Heaven wait (Hashirama x Madara)

9. Camboy (Hashirama)

I woke up to the soft man snoozing next to me in the morning sun.

Somewhere in the night, I had turned so I lay on my right side, and Madara was hugging me from behind. I saw the matte glitter on his nails reflect the sun as his hands rested on my abdomen, hidden beneath the fabric of my T-shirt. Having his body so close to mine made me wake up rock-hard, and I blushed a little at the thought of him noticing.

Speaking of noticing...

I grabbed the hem of my T-shirt and pulled it down, scared I would reveal the tattoos of the lightning bolts by accident.

I'm not ready to come out as H just yet...

It was seven am, and I guessed Madara would like to sleep some more, so I took the spare card to his hotel room, went to mine to change, then went to the hotel gym, the only people being there at this hour either dedicated gym-goers or jet-lagged people who needed something to do as people in this new time zone slept.

I lifted weights for an hour and ran for thirty minutes before going back to Madara, my body aching by the absence of him. It struck me that the two of us would have met like this even if H and M had never spoken, and I wondered if we would have gone all the way then; actually fucked. 

Probably. 

Would I love him like this, though...

I went to my room to fetch my protein powder, which I had brought with me to this trip like a sucker, then went back to Madara's room. He was still snoozing, looking awfully cute cocooned in the duvet, a slight frown on his face making me suspect he was currently dreaming, and thus sleeping lightly.

I had forgotten my shaker, I realised, and looked around me. The glasses standing next to the very big minibar were all used, I noticed, so I started opening some cabinets to find a mug or, even better, a shaker Madara had brought. Didn't he seem the type to bring one abroad?

Not once did it strike me that I might come across something private, that I might be sticking my nose in someone else's business. But in one cabinet, I saw something that were, apparently, not meant for my eyes. A small plastic bag. Hidden, but only half-heartedly, containing a white powder. My first thought was that it was stevia, which was the reason I took it out to have a closer look. At home, I usually added stevia to my protein shakes to try to make them more palatable to me, and for one split second, I thought Madara did the same, only he needed it badly enough to actually bring some of it over the Atlantic.

This is not stevia, sweetheart. This is-

"Hashi."

I jerked and turn ed to the bed, where Madara was now very much awake.

I knew I hadn't been snooping around. I knew I had found his cocaine by accident. Even so, I knew the look on my face was one of incredible guilt.

"Madara, I'm sorry, I was looking for a mug for my protein powder, I thought this was-"

"Leave."

He didn't sound mean or mad. Instead, there were tears in his eyes, and his voice cracked, and he looked down to the side, not wanting to meet my eye.

He's ashamed. He's ashamed of his addiction.

"Please, Madara, let me-"

"Leave!!"

He turned and looked at me with passion, with an anger I felt was directed to himself rather than at me.

I looked at him searchingly then, trying to find meaning behind his eyes. Do you really want me to leave? Or do you just want to see if I'll actually stay?