Darkness falls - English version

Runaway

Hey you. I'm sorry it took so long and I got out of my rhythm. I had a toothache. Wasn't a good week for me. I'm trying to catch up as soon as possible. But for now: enjoy.

>>Best for you by Solence + Past the past by New Medicine<<

When I woke up, I noticed that it was still dark outside. I squinted into the darkness and my eyes found the glowing numbers on the digital alarm clock. It was 4:23 am and I had to wonder at myself. We fell asleep less than 2 hours ago because we both couldn't get enough of each other. I'd swear neither of us could say how we got into the bedroom, but I knew for a fact that I'd never been loved like he had done to me the last night. If I fell asleep again now, which I really wanted to do, I would certainly be able to count on a third round when we both woke up again. I certainly wouldn't complain about that, but I'd been selfish enough by coming here in the first place. I felt like I was taking advantage of Sam. Not only did he take me in and cared for me self-sacrificingly, I took from him that night what I needed most - his love, his closeness, a little distraction and made me feel like I was alive, that everything was fine.

But nothing was fine. As long as I lived, Ridley would be after me - and most importantly, he would kill anyone he found out I cared about in any way until he finally got me. Sam and I just didn't have a future together. It couldn't be. The risk was too high. I'd rather die than risk Sam getting a scratch.

Sam lay on his stomach next to me. His arm was on top of me as if to make sure I couldn't escape from him again. Still, he had exhausted himself enough last night that he didn't notice when I quietly slipped out of bed. I felt the same way, but I fought against my tired limbs.

Unlike him, however, I had a week's rest to recover. He, on the other hand, had stayed by my bedside day and night, allowing little sleep, as he had confessed to me last night in the brief moments we had rested and enjoyed being together. It had been so wonderful and I wished so badly that it could be forever.

I had to go. I had let it go too far. I wouldn't, couldn't, put Sam in danger.

I quietly gathered my laundry from the bathroom and took his shirt and sweatpants. In the kitchen I quickly got dressed and left him a note: 'I hope you'll be able to forgive me one day, but I can't live with the fact that you're in danger. I'd rather die than risk something happening to you. I love you. Forever. P<

I was about to go down the stairs when I heard a soft whimper. I turned around and saw Radar looking at me sadly and nudging my hand with his snout as if to ask me to stay.

"I'm sorry, Radar. I have to go," I whispered softly and crouched down to scratch his ears again and rest my forehead on his head for a moment. "Take good care of Sam and the others, OK?" He cocked his head and whimpered softly again. I motioned for him to be quiet with my finger to my lips before sneaking out.

I knew only one could help me now to escape again, to start the fourth life. Even further away from Sam than the previous one had been.

Ten minutes later I knocked on his door, hoping he wasn't on the night shift. I couldn't help the fact that I kept glancing around furtively. I felt noticeably uncomfortable alone in the dark.

I had to knock twice more and was thinking about giving up and hiding with Sam again to contact him from there when a light finally came on in the hallway. Just a moment later, the door opened while he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"Malcolm. I need your help. Again," I attacked him without bothering too much with greetings. He eyed me for a moment, confused - for sure not only by the fact that I was showing up to him at all, but also by the clothes I was wearing, which were definitely not mine.