𝘑𝘖𝘚𝘏𝘋𝘜𝘉 𝘟 𝘙𝘌𝘌𝘒𝘐𝘋

Video

Ant POV:

My heart was racing. And not just because I had literally, less than five minutes ago, was on Josh. But because of the anxiety of who was just at the door. A cop? Not the one I was used to. This one looked more direct and serious, much less like the one who brought me to Josh's.

She almost looked angry when Josh and I went to open the door, keeping a frown on her face as she asked how I was doing and if I was well suited here. She said she would regularly be coming to check up on me. Maybe once every two weeks from now on.

I still wasn't sure why I got so much anxiety from the conversation, but I did. I still do actually.

I sat in the living room on Josh's couch, my knees hugged up to my chest while my breaths became more erratic.
I thought for a while, right now I wasn't too sure where Josh was, but that didn't matter. Not right now. I wasn't worried that she had come to check on me, I was worried that this would only be happening for the next few months.

I hadn't really thought about it till now but, I really didn't want to leave. I didn't want to leave Josh when I turn eighteen. I wouldn't. I-I couldn't. The hurt of it almost sent me into tears, that was before Josh came through the hall and saw me.

He smiled softly, I couldn't help but do the same back. I lowered my knees - feeling more comfortable that Josh was here. He walked heavily over to me, sitting down on the couch beside me and resting his head at the back whilst sighing.

"Rough convo?" I joked.

The cop had asked me to go away for a bit while she talked to Josh alone. I didn't know what it was about, it didn't feel like it'd be too important, so I just came to the living room to lounge around. I would be pestering Josh about it anyway though.

He sighed again, looking over at me with a small smile, "Something like that."

I smiled, "What was it about? Anything about me?"

My giggles weren't really helping, but it was funny, to me at least.
He sighed once more and looked to the ceiling, "She was just asking how my payment was going. If I was getting enough money for us, the house basically. I do of course, but I haven't really been doing my job recently, having you around and all."

He smirked at me, seeing if he had ticked me off or something by saying something that sounded a lot like I was a piece of work, which I probably was. I chuckled nonetheless.

"Would you want to make a video with me? Today?"
Josh waited.

It was hard to say that I didn't squeal. I've done videos with Josh before, but an actual one? Where we are like, next to each other?! I couldn't be happier.
At least I thought.

We set up not too long later and were finally sitting in front of the camera - Josh starting his intro.
I felt awkward. For once I felt awkward. I was usually outgoing and shit like that - yelling and ree-ing and all - but now... it was hard to describe the feeling in my stomach other than just feeling awkward.

I sat there almost in a trance as Josh reacted through tiktok's. I did react as well, but it wasn't me. It felt like there was someone else in my body while I just watched through my eyes, it was strange, yet I couldn't be more grateful. I don't know if I could've been up for this even if I wanted to. I love being here, with Josh, but this video wasn't just a "let's react to tiktoks," video. It was an explanation on why I was here at all.

Thanks to Josh the video couldn't have gone better. Sure I said a few things here and there, but it was really him. God, Josh is amazing.

***

Before I knew it, it was night once more.

I felt accomplished after that video for some reason. It was rewarding somehow. Even if it was a way of outing myself to the world that I was now living with Joshdub. It's not like he said anything about why I was here, only that I was. But I am pretty sure that the media will find out why I'm here one way or another. That's just what fans do.

But those matters don't bother me at the moment. I was cuddled up on that warm, loving couch, covered in a blanket that couldn't be more comforting.

This day had passed by nicely. I was happy about it, especially looking over the past shit I've gone through. It's good to finally have a complete change. I knew it had changed. I knew Josh wouldn't do anything like that ever again. He wouldn't yell at me, he wouldn't ignore me. I don't know how, but I knew.

Both of us were actually cuddled up on the couch now, he had his arm behind the couch pillows near my neck. He was close. I wanted to hug him, but I felt that would be wrong. Not right now.
I know I like him, but I can't pressure him into liking me back, it's not right.

So now I had to wait, patience I had, but time? I still wasn't sure about that.

I know I have irregular updating patterns, but that's just me. Sorry:( I'll be trying to make these chapters more interesting and longer btw