shatter me like glass

it hurts

people are like flowers.

if you take care of it, it will bloom into something wonderful.

if you ignore it, it will begin to wilt.

if you shine sunlight on it, it will stand tall and shine.

if you leave it in the dark, it will begin to decay.

- original quote by me

2 days later

jay pov

I was sitting against my bedroom door lost in my thoughts.

"Why do I keep lying? would they understand and what if they don't? would they think that I'm a failure? would they call me a liar? would they care if something happened to me, I mean why should they I have repeatedly lied to them. would they care if I wasn't around anymore, I mean they do seem to be having a great time without me. would they care if I died? Or would they just move on like nothing happened?"

I then began to consider the possibility that my team might not care if I was gone and to be completely honest I could understand why they wouldn't want me around. it wasn't hard.

" I am the weakest link, I can't use my powers the same way that Cole, Kai, and Zane could. I'm not strong like Cole. I'm not brave like Kai, and Im not smart like Zane. I'm not anything I'm just Jay the blue ninja. I'm the reason that missions don't go smoothly I'm the one who needs saving"

I was then reminded of my experience with Nadakhan.

" I'm the reason my friends got stuck in that sword if only I didn't make that wish. it's my fault that Nya died in my arms. yes, I brought her back with my final wish but that didn't change the fact that I had failed her, I had failed all of them."

I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I then remembered my time in the prime empire and more guilt filled me.

"It's my fault that we got stuck in there, if only hadn't tinkered with that stupid game and because of me I almost lost all my friends! I'm the reason that Kai and Cole got cubed on the Speedway 5 billion! I'm the reason that Nya got cubed, yes I managed to bring them all back but I still failed them."

I then began to realize how useless I was to the team.

"I dont understand why master wu choose me, I mean I don't do anything to benefit the team in anyway. all I do is sit around and play video games while everyone else is either planning our next move, going on missions, or just being useful in general. I'm just there just be dragged along. I am useless. I wasn't even fast enough to save my parents, I failed them! "

I felt tears start to make their way down my cheeks and I buried my face in my arms, ashamed of myself.

" All I do is slow everyone down. I can't seem to do anything without causing problems for everyone else's. I don't deserve to be on this team, I dont deserve to have a friend like Cole, Kai, or Zane! I don't deserve the love that master wu gives me. I don't deserve the love Nya gives me. I dont deserve to go to bed with a full stomach, I dont deserve to eat! I dont even deserve to have air in my lungs. What's wrong with me? I'm not worth anything to anyone, not even myself I'm worthless. I don't deserve anything!"

at this point, I was crying and I said in a hushed voice.

jay * whispering - I don't deserve to live.

suddenly there was a knock on my door and someone said.

kai *muffled - Jay dinners ready.

jay - i-i'll be down in a minute.

I then heard Kai walk away from my bedroom door not sure if I should even go down there.

cole pov

I was sitting on the couch waiting for dinner to be served, as I waited Kai entered the room and say.

kai - hey cole I was wondering if you wanted to play fist to face 2 with me while we wait for dinner.

cole - well I don't have anything better to be doing so sure, would it be ok if Jay could join in? I mean if he comes out.

Kai - yeah sure but now that you mention it, Jay has been spending a lot of his time in his room lately. do you have any idea as to why? I mean you are his best friend.

cole - yeah I have noticed and I'm worried about him, it's just ever since that night he has been acting off. I have tried to talk to him but whenever I mention that night he just walks off.

kai - what do you mean, what night?

I then realized that I hadn't told anyone about my encounter with Jay in the junkyard about a week ago. so I then proceed to tell Kai what had happened that night. when I finished Kai looked at me in shock.

kai - you mean that the junkyard was completely destroyed? But why have you waited this long to tell me this?

cole - I'm not sure, I guess for some reason I just felt like I couldn't tell you, guys.

but it was at that moment Zane walked in and said.

zane - dinner is ready.

before walking back to the kitchen. me and Kai both looked at each other before saying.

kai - do you think we should tell Zane?

I then nodded before me and kai began to walk to the dining room. once there I saw Zane setting the table before saying.

cole - Zane me and Kai have something to tell you.

hello, my friends, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I did say this story would have angst in it and when it comes to angst I don't hold back. now I warn you guys that things are going to get a lot darker from here on out and if you don't like that then you can read something else, you have been warned. until next time.