Marvel Women One-shots

Natasha X Reader - I Wanted You

Summary: Inspired by the quote "We tried so hard not to be torn apart. But at the end of it all,we both wanted something different...I wanted you. And you...you didn't want them to know"

Rating: General | Word count: 1.1k | Warnings/Tags: Angst, no happy ending, bittersweet

A/N- Apologies if the format is weird, I'm posting this from my phone!
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Standing at the back of the hall, nothing but longing and pain filled Natasha as she watched you from afar. The smile on your lips practically reached your ears as you smiled down at the woman you were standing at the altar with, a few cheers from the rest of the team filling the room when you met her lips as commanded by the priest, both of you smiling against one another.

Natasha couldn't help but want to leave, watching you being so, so in love with someone else caused her heart to fracture with every smile you sent to your new wife, every little touch and kiss.

It hurt.

It hurt so much to see you like this, but Natasha couldn't stop thinking about one thing.

What went wrong?

Your relationship had initially started as something more physical than emotional, your bodies  practically tangled under the sheets for hours on end as you both used each other as a means of getting out pent up frustrations and feelings. However, it was inevitable for you to fall for the redhead, her charming smile and sarcastic personality winning you over effortlessly as you grew closer and closer to her, finally getting the courage to confess your feelings to her.

The start of the relationship was rocky, Natasha having difficulty with being open with someone, with letting someone wriggle their way into her stone cold heart but you managed it. Of course you did, how could Natasha not fall for you?

Slowly but surely she gave you her heart as you did her, the two of you so deeply in love with one another that Natasha thought nothing could get in the way of you, nothing. But that thought came crashing down when it all ended, her heart breaking into a million pieces and never having been put back together.

Today was just a reminder of how broken she felt without you.

She kept her distance for most of the night, letting the rest of the team congratulate you on your special night, your arm wrapped around your wife's waist as you smiled at whoever was speaking to you, occasionally murmuring something into her ear to make her smile and chuckle.

However, once she saw you standing on the balcony alone, your wife far to enthralled in a conversation with Steve, Natasha couldn't help herself as her feet led her closer to you, her arms leaning against the railing to match your position.

"I didn't think you would come," is all you say as you continue to stare ahead, keeping your expression calm and mature as you the woman besides you knew how to read you and understand what you were truly feeling.

"You invited me," she whispers back, her voice containing that slight rasp you used to love to listen to.

"Still, I wasn't sure," you murmur, risking a look to your side to offer her a soft and grateful smile, wanting her to know how much you appreciated her being here despite the circumstances.

Her eyes scanned over your features, remembering every little detail she memorised after having gazed at you so many times, your eyes seemingly doing the same as you took in her familiar red hair and enticing emerald eyes. Your eyes naturally drifted to her lips, encouraging the redhead to talk as her gaze remained locked on your eyes.

"Where did we go wrong?" she asks and you know she's not doing this to cause an argument or a scene, she's simply curious. You offer her another small, soft smile before turning your head, looking back at the view from balcony of New York, the towers oddly peaceful to stare at during the night.

"We both wanted different things, Nat," you whisper after thinking for a moment, the nickname odd for the other woman to hear as no one called her Nat apart from you.

"I only ever wanted you," she says, voice laced with honesty but you shake your head gently, the smile on your lip fading a little but still present.

"You wanted more than just me," you say softly, turning back to look at her, getting lost in the eyes you still loved. "We tried so hard to not be torn apart but it just... It wasn't working, not for me," your confession has Natasha's heart beating wildly in her chest, the redhead unsure if she could handle it being broken once again. "We both wanted different things Nat, I wanted you and you..." your gaze moves to the window, staring at the rest of the team who laughed amongst themselves, "You didn't want them to know."

"Y/n... You why know I-" she tries but you gently cut her off.

"I know, I'd never force you to tell them," you whisper in that soft tone that Natasha remembers falling asleep to, the delicate nature of it calming. "I just, I didn't want to be a secret anymore," your voice wavers a little and Natasha sees past the façade you were putting on, able to see how hurt this conversation made you feel.

The two of you simmer in the silence a little longer, Natasha unable to excuse her past behaviour as you knew why she didn't want others to know. She was always told love was a weakness and telling others just seemed to be handing them ammo to later on fire back at her. She couldn't put anything before her job, not back then when there were more lives to save, more villains to fight, not even you.

"You don't love her the same way you loved me," Natasha whispers after thinking for a while, her tone not bitter just simply stating the facts, your gaze being drawn away from the skyline.

"Perhaps not," you reply back honestly, "I don't think I could love anyone the way I loved you but that doesn't mean I don't love her." Your words painfully remind Natasha of your wife in the other room, how your finger wears a ring that belongs to the other woman, not the redhead. "I vowed to her that I'd spent the rest of my life with her and I intend to," you say, pushing your arms off the railing to move into a standing position, turning to look at Natasha one more time. "Maybe a  part of me wishes I was spending it with you, but that's not how things worked out. I love you Natasha, I always will but I just don't think we were meant to be," your confession causes a single tear to spill from her eyes, your finger delicately raising to wipe it away, your smile soft and bittersweet. "Maybe in another lifetime we'll get our happy ending," you murmur before pressing your lips to her forehead softly, a kiss to say goodbye as you offer her one last smile before turning away slowly, leaving Natasha to try and piece back her broken heart, alone.

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I love writing angst like this 😭 It's the bittersweet stuff that hurts so good

I hope you enjoyed ;)

Please leave any thoughts/comments/votes <3 They are greatly appreciated:)

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Ao3- LoveIsAnImaginaryDagger