Lies That Bind (on hold temporarily)

Chapter Twenty

A L E C

She lifts herself up and off me and she collapses on the bed, taking a moment to catch her breath before rolling onto her side and placing her hand on my chest. She traces her fingers over my inked skin like she always has after sex, or even just a long day, and there's something about the small gesture that makes my heart leap in my chest.

Or maybe that's just the effect she has on me.

She finally breaks her silence as she continues to aimlessly doodle on my chest with the tip of her finger, "What are you doing here?"

I knew that question was coming eventually. "I'm taking you up on your offer to stay with you for a little while," I reply, staring up at the ceiling.

"That doesn't answer my question," she says, propping her head up on the palm of her free hand, "And how long is a little while?"

I roll onto my side, mirroring her, "I don't have much work to do right now, so I figured I'd come do you instead."

She rolls her eyes, "And how long is a little while?" she repeats.

"Why?" I ask, stealing a quick kiss. "Will pretty boy have a problem with us sharing a bed?" I tease.

"No," she sighs.

I guess that's a touchy subject. "Look, I didn't come here to fuck up whatever you have with him," I say, brushing her hair behind her ear. "He seems like a good guy, and after the shit Ty and I put you through, it's nice to see you actually starting to open up to someone else. So if it's going to be a problem I can just go."

"That's not-" she starts, stopping herself before taking a breath and rolling onto her back, "I'm not worried about what James is going to think. He and I aren't dating."

Your face says otherwise, rosy. "Then why does it matter how long I'm here? It never has before."

"It doesn't, but I'd like to know how long I'll be subjected to my bed smelling like a cigarette and your morning wood pressed against my ass when I wake up," she says sarcastically.

Pressed against her ass? How about in that tight fucking pussy? Personally I can't think of a better way to start my day.

And I know she feels the same, she just doesn't want to say it because she's still mad at me for leaving the way I did the last time I stayed here. I admit it was a dick move to not hear her out, but what else was I supposed to do when she told me she hadn't been seeing Ty only for me to catch her sending nudes to him?

She knows that she'll never get what she really wants from him, yet she continues to torture herself. That's why I was so hard on her the night of the reunion after I saw them together.

Sara has only ever actually wanted one thing. And it was never sex. Not back then at least.

It's reassurance.

That's why I could never stop myself from giving her what she wanted. Like the night she threw herself at me and I took her virginity. I gave her what she wanted. I told her how insanely gorgeous and sexy she was, and how anyone would be lucky to have her. I proved to her that she's worthy of being loved despite what her mom might think. And I meant every fucking word of it.

Ty was always too thick headed to realize that's what she actually wanted. She wanted to have sex with him because, to her, it was the ultimate declaration of affection and love. The ultimate reassurance that he loved her. But he was too afraid of the what ifs to give it to her.

That's what I meant the night of the reunion when I said that I could give her what he never would. It wasn't about sex. It was about giving her everything Ty can't.