you deserve to know, I loved you. I still do you'll forever have a piece of my heart. I cry for u, ache for u and retouch our memories that slowly fade away.
I know I was important to u as u were to me. I'll forever hold our memories. I know we'll n...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Oh, and here I go again destroying myself to keep a friend. The truth is I feel guilty for treating Kaylee like shit, she's my best friend and she always will be. I ended our text saying "we can still be friends right" honestly I wish I texted her this instead. "It doesn't mean I no longer care, I still do. I'll do my best to check up on you, to see how you're doing even though things are gonna eventually change I just want you to know I'm still here. I'll still be here for you. I'll still lend you my shoulder and my ears." But I realise that sometimes life doesn't go the way you want it to be. Kaylee will always be a special person in my life. To her I might have been a saviour when people were bullying her but to me she was my saviour and my Safe place she was there for me when no one was but I guess that's gonna change now cause I have Ashley, I know it makes me look like the bad guy but when your in love nothing and no one can stop you. Like they say "love is blind"
Kaylee's pov:
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
1 week later 15th of November Entry-2 Yesterday drank way too much and stayed up too late started to write what I wanna say later deleted the message but I still remember what It said. "I wish I was who you drunk texted at midnight, wish I was the reason you stay up still 3 and you can't fall asleep waiting for me to reply, I wish I was more than just someone you walk by, wish I wasn't scared to be honest and open instead of just hoping you feel what I'm feeling inside, if I tell you the truth what will I lose? I don't know."
16th of November Entry-3 When you're driving a car and it starts running out of gas the car doesn't slow down, not until the tank is completely empty does everything shut down I think for a long time I was a car with a gas light on always on the edge of breaking down but still running full speed into disaster no one knew anything was wrong until one day I just stopped. Stopped getting out of bed Stopped answering the phone Stopped caring. Everyone wondered what happened but they didn't know that I'd been on empty for weeks....
I've been blowing up everywhere on YouTube, insta and Twitter for the videos I've been posting on YouTube. I dropped out of school a week ago so I can work and get the money I need for the flight, it's hard to think I'll be leaving in 2 weeks. I work at the same place mia works, she works part time cause she needs to attend school whereas I work full time so I can make enough money. It was 2:45 which meant Mia would come for her shift. I did tell her about Yale and she was so supportive. "Heyy girl" Mia said rushing in. "Hi how was school" I asked giving her a hug. "Same old boring shit, how was your day?" She asked just when I was gonna respond back I saw someone I didn't wanna see. We looked at eachother. He smiled. Just when I was gonna smile back I saw Ashley clinging to his arm.
"Hey, how are you?" he asked. Not good. "Okay" I simply replied, took their order down gave their receipt and acted like strangers. "Hey Mia can you take the next order please" I said, before I got a response I rushed to the washroom. I wanted to scream and tell him I'm not okay. I don't want us to end like this, like strangers and act like we were never bestfriends. I wonder if I cross his mind as much as he does on mine,I think I really need a therapist cause he really fucked me up, I think it's kinda funny his mom and dad are texting me congratulating on all my songs. I think I should be over this cause it's been too fucking long I should be forgetting him, hating him, moving on where did I go wrong? Cause he doesn't deserve it, the way that I'm hurting. He's out there laughing while I'm stuck here crying in the mirror screaming "you don't deserve these tears." Why am I crying? I wish I sent you that drunk text that midnight. I was just scared it would ruin our friendship. But I was too drunk to even realise our friendship was already ruined But I still wonder how he would reply.
Bennett's pov:
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"Mia hey um is kaylee alright" "Why don't you ask her yourself" she said taking the customers order down. "I did she said she was okay" "And you believed her Bennett? Let me tell you what's wrong with her. She is tired. That's exactly what she is, Tired. She's tired of getting hurt. She's tired of being let down. She's tired of being a second choice. She's tired of holding it all in. She's tired of feeling broken, damaged, worthless and never good enough. She's tired of trying. She's tired of getting her hopes up. She's tired of being treated like shit. She's tired of being herself. Want to know how I know all of this? Cause I was there when you weren't Bennet." She said before leaving.
I can't believe I've made kaylee feel this way. I was supposed to be her bestfriend. How could I do this to her.
"Babe what are u doing here" Ashley asked. "Nothing let's leave" I said grabbing her hand. "Bennett wait, I heard everything mia said, look it isn't your fault. You're not the reason for kaylee to feel the way she's feeling right now so please don't blame it on yourself alright?" She said giving me a assuring smile. Maybe she was right, she's always right. "You know I love you so much right" I said getting lost in her eyes.
