The Way We Fall

Chapter 88 (Roche)

After her dreadful discussion with Finn, Roche stayed far away from the infirmary. She received updates on the prince's health from Kai, who was run ragged as he tried to care for his friend. The days crawled by, stretching into weeks and then months. Roche sank into her duties as a maid by day. By night, she leaned into the flickering candles beside her bed and read from the spellbook Verita had gifted her, testing various incantations until she physically could not anymore.

It was exhausting. Too often, Tigris would make a slightly concerned quip about the shadows that had formed under Roche's eyes. But Roche couldn't let herself rest, couldn't let the anxious energy fade from her body because Circe's warnings rattled in her ears constantly. Even after months, it was hard to believe that the princes could fathom the idea of harming Tigris. Roche had kept a close eye on both princes. Aodh was as fiercely loyal as he'd always been. If anything, he'd become closer to his sister after the duel with Harold. Finn was just as devoted. He hadn't mentioned any of his visions since the duel, but he watched Tigris with an almost pensive look to his eyes, like he feared for her.

Roche couldn't bring herself to ask him about it. She and the prince still spoke regularly, discussing books, fighting, food, and all the things they used to speak about. Everything seemed fine.

Everything was fine.

Still, Roche could sense a kind of reticence in Finn's words when he spoke to her. He was friendly, but guarded. She knew he remembered his almost drunken pleas for her to confirm that he hadn't gone insane, and she'd all but told him that he was. She'd broken his trust in her.

Roche swallowed a lump of regret. She knew he would never understand that she'd kept him in the dark for his own safety, but that didn't make his aloofness any less painful. As awkward and chafing as it was, Roche was willing to live like this if it meant keeping her friends safe.

For many months, Roche lived that way. It all changed the day she decided to try and save one of her own.

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Tigris groaned loudly in her bed, curling up into a ball when Roche entered her chambers.

"Wakey wakey, princess!" Roche greeted dully, throwing open the curtains. There was a knot of pain currently coiling her midsection. She had been up all night practicing a new shielding incantation, missed breakfast, and had her period come in that morning. All in all, Roche was not having a good day.

The muscles of her midsection tightened sharply. Roche clenched her jaw. Tigris was still in bed.

"C'mon, princess. You have a lot to do today." Roche insisted, pulling away some of Tigris' sheets.

"Later," Tigris grunted, curling up tighter. Her brow was sweaty and her skin was flushed. Roche instantly dropped her cheeriness for concern.

"Are you sick?" Roche asked, setting down the breakfast platter on the study with one hand as she checked Tigris' forehead with the other.

Tigris smacked Roche's hand away. "Cramps," Tigris muttered.

Ah. Roche nodded sympathetically. "I'll ask Leinos for some pain elixir. Try to eat something."

Tigris muttered something obscene and turned around in her bed. Roche quickly left the room before the princess could throw something at her.

Leinos had the princess' elixir ready in a few moments. He gave Roche a vial as well at her request. Roche downed it, frowning when her pain only dulled slightly, a throb still knotting like a ball of snakes deep within her. Roche wished she could use healing incantations on herself.

The idea struck her as she handed Tigris the pain elixir. Perhaps both of them didn't need to suffer today.

"Emminalget llanosus." Roche murmured. Instantly, her own pain nearly doubled.