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Phoebe knew Paul would be ok.
He had a way to feel welcomed and loved wherever he went, he felt right at home even at the most expensive galas surrounded by the most extravagant people, while Phoebe struggled to go anywhere without feeling like an outsider.
When Paul took her to meet Dearbhla and Paul Sr. for the first time, they both made her feel the same way she imagined Paul felt everywhere he went.
Paul's parents were calm, loving, playful, and full of wisdom. Their family home in the beautiful small town of Maynooth spoke volumes of the kind of people the Mescals were.
A building block in their community, Phoebe immediately understood how someone like Paul had come to be. She understood how newlyweds could leave the big city buzz to begin a life in the countryside, with days full of gentle rain and candle lit dinners with friends and neighbours.
She was happy. Which was something she couldn't possibly allow herself to be.
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Phoebe's childhood home in Pasadena had always felt like an empty nest where she had to keep bringing broken twigs to rebuild every day. An endless black hole that could only absorb the light and life out of everything it touched.
Her brother Jackson was the only light in the darkness.
She felt guilty to still harbour these kind of feelings, they felt so adolescent. That's why she wrote music instead.
Her mother was the strongest woman she knew, and her father, whom she missed dearly and whole heartedly despite some of her most ill-meaning words, was also a great dad.
